Kiss me, lady
by noeru K
Summary: Who do you see me as?" Silence ---- "Please,"
1. Chapter 1

** Chapter 1 **

Remus stood before a large mansion that towered above him. It stood in the heart of Cotswold Manor and its sprawling grounds were hundreds of acres of the lush English countryside. The mansion itself had pure white walls that were built from sparkling marble, which had stood solid for centuries with the help of thick enchantments. Tall windows glinted with the marble in the sunlight from high above and let the sunshine gently grace the interior. Formal gardens skirted the mansion and led down to a languid river with a wilder copse encircling the edges of the property. The manor was also very grand in both style and setting, almost seemingly reflecting the owners of the house.

Be calm…calm…Remus told himself over and over again. Remember what you're here for…yes, he was here for a purpose and a very definite life-changing purpose at that. Remus ran his hair through his golden hair, which was now damp with perspiration. You couldn't apparate inside the grounds; therefore Remus had walked quite a while in the summer sun to get to the mansion. After raking a few extra strands of plastered hair off his forehead, he loosened his collar and extended a hand to knock with the serpentine doorknocker that was winking under the glaring light. That was when he realised that the door-knocker was of polished, sparkling silver and withdrew his hand with a hiss issuing from his lips.

He should have paid more attention, Remus scowled at himself for the careless mistake. If he had touched that silver, he would have suffered a heavy burn and coming here would have been useless if he was to leave for St. Mungos and miss the chance of seeing Mr. Black. He squinted his amber eyes at the doorknocker, but surely it couldn't be real silver? He spent just a few minutes trying to determine whether it would be real, pure silver, but then Remus knew it was better to be safe than sorry. He just used his fist to rap it sharply on the heavy oak doors. He could hear his knock reverberate loudly inside the mansion and tensed for any sound of footsteps.

Soon, there was a patter of small feet and the oak doors opened by themselves as a wispy figure, wearing a smart suit stood in the entrance, blocking Remus's view of the interior of the mansion. Remus immediately grew nervous at the sombre look on the ghost's face. 

"Hi," Remus began tentatively, "I'm here to see Mr. Black,"

The ghost stared at Remus as if he was sizing him up for something and this only made the young wizard even more strained.

The ghost's focus flickered to some shabby patches in Remus's robes but only briefly. It coughed delicately, "And you would be sir?"

"Remus Lupin," Remus said promptly.

The ghost slightly nodded his head, "Is Master Black expecting your presence, Mr Lupin?" he asked politely in a baritone.

"Not…quite," Remus adequately put because he didn't think he should really go into much detail with this ghost, whatever its business in this mansion was.

"I am very sorry to inform Mr Lupin that Master Black is just preparing to leave for town. If you make a prior engagement with master, then I am sure you can call upon him another time." The ghost replied mistily.

Remus's body slightly sagged. It was an issue that had to be resolved as soon as possible and Remus didn't know when he would have the time to contact Mr Black prior and arrange a meeting without the issue growing out of hand.

Remus hesitated for a while, a slight frown gracing his fine features as he started biting his lower lip, "It's urgent." He said, although he knew very well it would not have made a difference.

The ghost, now that Remus looked at it carefully was a very old and wizen one and indeed spoke with fatigue, "I'm afraid that - "

"What's urgent?" a light voice interrupted the ghost and Remus looked through the ghost's translucent body to see a tall man, impressively dressed, advancing towards the doorway whilst pulling on a pair of white gloves.

"Master," The ghost turns around to give him a deep bow but the man just waved it aside and the ghost took it as a cue to leave it to the man. The ghost disappeared and Remus was forced to look at the man that he had been dreading yet wanting to meet.

As his wide eyes drank in those familiar pair of eyes set above a slim and straight nose and lips that with the slight manipulation could curve into a delicate smirk, one word escaped Remus's mouth.

"Sirius…?"

"Mr. Black," the man corrected then stared at Remus quizzically with startling silver eyes before flipping his ridiculously long black hair over his shoulder, "And who would you be?" he asked cuttingly.

Remus remembered his purpose there and recovered himself slightly from the shock, "Remus…Remus Lupin." He introduced himself faintly.

The young man's silver eyes now glittered with something like recognition, "Oh…you were the Gryffindor prefect?"

Remus nodded his head. But when Sirius stopped scrutinising Remus and spoke again, it had seemed like he had quashed all signs of recognition, "So, Mr Lupin. What would your business here be?"

"I was told, you were leaving for town." Remus countered prudently.

Sirius started taking off his gloves, "If it's urgent Mr Lupin, I can spare you the afternoon."

The fair-haired youth sighed in relief, "yes, it's urgent."

Sirius nodded, "Yes, I heard as much," he smartly turned around, "Banot? Show Mr Lupin to the eastern study…" he paused to turn around look at Remus, "Excuse me for a moment." Then he sauntered to the right and disappeared from Remus's vision.

Remus sighed, Sirius had even cancelled going out to town to listen to what he had to say. He had better make it worth it or he knew he would regret it.

The ghost called Banot had appeared by his side in an instant. "This way," he said, leading the guest up a flight of steps and down an aisle to the left. Then with two turns to the right and once again to the left was a dark mahogany door of the eastern study. The mansion's ceilings were fifteen feet high, at least, capping walls being covered in dark wood panelling and crimson silk. Remus thought he had glimpsed a ballroom and a drawing room on the way to the study and when he had glanced inside the drawing room there had been a brass and crystal chandelier so huge that it had dwarfed the chairs and sofas groups that had been clustered in the room into small miniatures. It was getting difficult to hide his awe at the size and grandeur of the place.

When the enchanted door opened and Remus made his way inside, he realised that the furniture in the study was also exquisite: heavy, richly carved antiques that bore not the slightest sign of wear. There was also an ornate hearth with a blue fire burning off a pleasantly cool air, to combat the stuffy summer warmth and a large mahogany bookshelf lined one entire wall of the small study. It looked disappointingly ordinary, apart from the fact that the books would occasionally rearrange themselves. Banot offered Remus a seat and the young wizard sank into the comfortable chair with relief. 

After a few minutes after Banot left, Remus only had a brief moment to walk over to the mahogany bookshelf and trace a hand down the spines of the book.

"Found anything to your interest?" Sirius's light voice interrupted him from reaching out and pulling one out to read.

Remus recovered remarkably from the surprise. When he turned around, Sirius was at his desk. He was only simply dressed in loose pants and a shirt, his tie was loosened considerably and the top few buttons undone. It contrasted too much to the handsome outfit he had on a few moments before. Sirius pulled irritated yet deft fingers to loosen the tie even more as he leaned on his desk.

"Yes, ahh actually." Remus tried to answer Sirius's question without trying to show his shock of seeing how many books based on dark arts were cunningly hidden in seemingly plain covers.

Sirius smirked, "Well, let's get straight to the point shall we? What is your urgent business with me?"

Remus cleared his throat and walked towards Sirius, his amber eyes alight in determination, "You can't push the Act of Werewolf Identification into the Ministry of magic." He said firmly.

Sirius had poured himself a glass of Scotch and was whirling it around, slightly amused.

"It's absurd. Werewolves shouldn't be required to have identification tags, constantly on display to the public. Don't you know what this would do? Unemployment, tension between werewolves and common wizarding population and nobody would carry it out."

"Mr Lupin," Sirius said coldly, "The employers should be and would be required to be fully conscious of employing a werewolf. A dark creature that could murder without control…it is life endangering. Unemployment, I cannot help much with. As for the tension between werewolves and common wizarding population, there has always been tension and always would be. It would be optimistic to the point of foolishness if you think that that tension would ever disappear. Besides, law is law…people would be made to carry it out."

Remus steeled himself, "Werewolves may be dark creatures but that is only for a brief period of time. They are human."

Sirius smiled eerily, "The public has the right to know who they are dealing with and decide for themselves whether they are in danger."

"Average people…" Remus pushed on, "those are who werewolves are and are only subject to discrimination and exclusion because of…people like you!"

Remus had expected such indifference but now dealing with it face-to-face, it was so hard to keep his anger down. Didn't he know that it was painful enough to deal with normal people right now without his help with further excluding and discriminating?

Sirius drained his glass and offered Remus some but Remus didn't turn his determined eyes off him. Sirius shrugged, "And why do you care so much, Mr Lupin?"

Remus stalked up to Sirius and slammed a hand down onto his desk, he knew Sirius had already guessed it and Remus wasn't denying that it was dangerous to reveal to him this kind of information but, truly – he needed to get his point across.

It was in his registration anyway…it was all there and always would be…besides, somehow, even though the situation to the naked eye would seem in favour of Sirius…Remus knew he would come through because somehow, there was no motivation or passion in those silver eyes…just blank, blank…coldness.

Silver eyes…with a jolt, Remus suddenly remembered why he unconsciously kept flinching when seeing Sirius's eyes. Silver…the colour he was afraid of most and would try to avoid the most…Sirius had those pair of eyes.

"I'm a werewolf…and" Remus tried to keep his voice even, "Do I look like a beast or a human?"

Sirius sat himself down on top of his desk and sat cross-legged. He propped his elbows onto his thighs and stared at Remus for just a second, "Human…but it depends when I see you again. At full moon, I would say a beast."

Remus sighed, not so easy…

"I know it is hard for you to understand because you perhaps in your entire life would never had been isolated nor excluded but, injustice like this shouldn't happen. I speak on behalf of everyone, you must not hand that," he indicated to a cabinet, "into the Ministry of Magic."

"If it's truly injustice, the Ministry would take care of it," Sirius said dismissively.

Remus bit his lip to try and calm his anger, which was about to explode. How he had to deal with this spoilt boy was beyond his reasoning.

"You know you have a lot of influence on the Ministry, Mr Black. Otherwise I would not have come all this way to see you. This shouldn't be done…and I know, deep down you perhaps know too."

Sirius lifted his head to glare at Remus. Those silver eyes froze Remus's anger in its track. There were minutes of silence only broken by the ticking of a clock.

"Exclusion and isolation huh?" Sirius smirked, "You don't want to be judged Mr Lupin, but you stand there calmly and try to judge me. Do you think I would do as you say when you are so contradicting?'

Remus sighed, "Sorry, I was wrong." It was his turn to glare daggers at Sirius and surprisingly there was a flicker of something that flashed in his empty eyes that made him appear a split second less arrogant.

"It was a waste of time to visit here, it would have been easier to go visit the Ministry itself." Remus's face hardened and he turned around to leave, although he knew too clearly that he wouldn't be able to find his way out of this mansion without a map.

"It wasn't me," Sirius suddenly said good-naturedly.

Remus turned around, his hand just about to reach for the doorknob.

Sirius started shuffling pieces of parchment that had been sprawling higgledy-piggledy on his desk. When he saw that he had Remus's attention, he gave a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"I just knew it would be something my father would have approved, and right now…for me, to get his approval is of utmost importance." Sirius quipped.

"Your father? Mr Orion Black?"

"Yes…because see Mr Lupin, whilst seeing me was of your utmost importance…my goal now, is to inherit the Black family fortune."

Remus was stunned. He did not know why Sirius was telling him this; well… truthfully, Remus had not even known that 'Mr. Black' who was to push such a discriminating act through to the ministry had been his peer Sirius. He did not have a good reply so he managed, rather lamely, "Haven't you already inherited the fortune due to your father's unfortunate death?"

Sirius reached for a quill, "If you knew my father Mr Lupin. You would not say such things. He left a will that had certain conditions for me to achieve if I was to inherit the fortune. There were many who would do anything for his money Mr Lupin…and he used that to his full advantage. He left my younger brother's and also my uncle Cygnus's name on the will as well, to see who fulfilled the conditions first and would become the true heir of the Black family."

"What…conditions?"

"I'm afraid that is confidential Mr Lupin. But Cygnus only had three daughters of which one ran away with a muggle-born. Andromeda, you knew her didn't you?" Sirius's silver eyes narrowed.

"Yes…a little," Remus admitted.

"With the help of the media, Cygnus's reputation and that household had struggled since, with stretched financial problems…because of Andromeda. Although right now, he intends to wed his other two daughters to the Lestranges and the Malfoys to solve that problem."

What a way to refer to his own uncle and cousins, Remus thought distantly.

Sirius poured himself another glass of toxic liquid. "And I need to never let my younger brother lay hands on my father's money…for personal reasons. The Werewolf Identification was only something I knew would bring myself closer to fulfilling his conditions…what do you think Mr Lupin?"

The question was so abrupt that for a moment, Remus was mute. "Mr. Black, I think you would have had a lot of help from people who would want you to inherit such fortune. For example, your mother, she is well and good I believe. They would have been able to let you achieve your goal in another way, not one in which a group of people are to be further isolated."

Sirius stared up at him with cold eyes, "My mother? Regulus's mother…you forget Mr Lupin. When I turned eighteen years of age, this mansion magically became warded to me, therefore I was allowed to send her to a small house, 12th of Grimmauld place but she would never rest until she has her revenge on me for," he scoffed, "exiling her,"

Sirius stood up and dropped the quill he had been examining, "Besides Mr Lupin…I trust no one, it is best to find love and peace within yourself. That is the key to success I believe."

Remus glanced at the clock and found that he had stayed a little too long, "As pleasant as our conversation was…if it does not benefit me, I would like to take my leave. I thank you for your time."

He felt Sirius's cold hand on his wrist that pulled him back into the study.

"Would you like to work for me?" Sirius suddenly asked huskily.

Remus turned around, startled.

"In exchange for the destruction of that proposal…would you work for me?"

Remus hesitated, so this was what Sirius had had in mind. A bargain…

"I know you're smart," Sirius smirked, "You can help me…"

Remus realised that Sirius was leaning heavily onto him, "Besides, I know how hard it is to become employed if you're a werewolf. Trust me, your pay won't be that great but for that proposal…I had the inkling that you would do anything."

"I…can get a teaching place at Hogwarts," Remus countered sharply.

Sirius chuckled, "And how long would that last Mr Lupin?"

Remus bit his lip…he had a point.

Sirius looked like a glittering snake, "I would employ you to be my manager of General affairs."

"What affairs?"

"Well, this house…for example. Those house elves only know how to cook and clean, they can't manage anything. I have gardeners and maids but I do not have time or energy to deal with them. You can also help me with my office work and towards my goal to inherit the fortune…I could make you my butler but Banot's been with this mansion for centuries…"

Remus couldn't believe what he was hearing, it sounded almost as if Sirius wanted him to be his slave.

Sirius smirked, "You would also have to come and live in here. Kiann Hall, I mean."

Remus's eyes widened in shock.

"It's no big deal Mr Lupin. We have a lot of rooms and there is also a joint one to mine…"

"I…can't do all this just for that proposal," Remus managed to say, rapidly regaining his cool.

"Oh? What else do you want Mr Lupin?"

"Your definite promise that Werewolves would also not be classified as 'beasts'. There should be no debate about it whatsoever."

Sirius looked arrogant as he looked through his lashes at Remus, "Is that all Mr Lupin?" he asked dangerously soft.

"I…I'll think about it…and get back to you as soon as possible."

Sirius leaned back in his leather chair and turned his attention back to his desk, "Oh, if you were to become my employee, you would address me as Master Black or sir."

Remus knew definitely that sir was much preferable to Master Black.

"We could also make an unbreakable vow of our contract Mr Lupin," Sirius also added, he sure was a suspicious man.

Remus stared at Sirius's handsome face and tried to decide whether he could trust him or not, "No…I'll…trust you,"

It was unfair; Remus knew only too well how Sirius had said the exact opposite lines a few minutes ago.

Sirius smiled faintly, "Banot will escort you out. I want your answer in two days other the proposal gets filed."

Remus didn't know how and why he was considering for such an outrageous job but he ended up just nodding as the ghost appeared beside him, gesturing towards the door.

Two days…two days to think about it…

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**Love it? Hate it? **

Let me know…REVIEW _please_

noeru K


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**A/N: **I had a little debate over myself of how to make Sirius's character appear and as well as Remus's. Hmmm, yes – just some of my random mumblings. Remus and Sirius are both twenty…by the way.

Well – **ENJOY!

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**

Remus had never thought that Sirius had been serious (…) when he had told Remus that he could use the room that was joint Sirius's own. It was a very nice room though, like the drawing room, the ceilings were very high. Rather than the dark, fruity wood of the formal areas, however, this chamber was decorated completely in ivory and white. The only colour at all came from gilded detailing on the white-canopied bed and other furniture, and the ice blue curtains and pillows on the bed. However, it irked Remus that this room was feminine to the extreme. In slight mortification, Remus rushed towards the wardrobe and flung it open to catch sight of stacks of garments, exquisite dresses that brushed the bottom of the wardrobe delicately. His suspicions was confirmed…

Remus automatically jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He swivelled around to see Sirius's silver eyes twinkling with amusement. "This room used to belong to my mother. Although it may not be to your taste, bear with it."

Remus ignored Sirius and pushed the stack of gowns to one side of the wardrobe and started to pile in some of his own clothes. They all looked so plain and shabby compared to the dresses, Remus pondered painfully, if he had been a witch, he wouldn't have minded just borrowing the garments as well as the living space. About halfway down the left-hand wall, a doorway was ajar. "My room," Sirius informed Remus when he noticed his eyes. "You have your own bathroom," Sirius also added, stepping past Remus to gesture to a second door. Inside there was long, marble counter, toilet, and claw-footed tub.

"But before that, shouldn't we go shopping?" Sirius stared pointedly at Remus's numerously mended clothes.

Remus coughed, "That wouldn't be necessary. This is enough," he couldn't help looking around the extreme feminine yet still very adequate room that he was to occupy. Even if it was a woman's chamber, he had never occupied such an exquisite space.

Sirius nodded curtly, "I'm going out for lunch soon, a house-elf would come and fetch you so get ready."

"Is that really necessary?" Remus asked hesitantly.

"Pardon?" Sirius shot him a quizzical look.

"I don't really need to accompany you on your meals…do I?"

"Oh but you do," Sirius smiled humourlessly, "we have a lot to discuss,"

Remus somehow felt intimidated by the delicate smirk arranged on Sirius's face.

Minutes later, Remus was seated opposite Sirius in a neat restaurant called 'Terrace on the Green'.

"So, have you met the head house-elf of our Hall, called Daisy?" Sirius asked at length.

"No sir," Remus replied stiltedly. He picked at his salad.

Sirius gave a delicate cough, "You will have to meet her of course and arrange for the count on silver, as well as conduct a list of china patterns, inventory of the larder, and calendar of when the linens had last been pressed…Since my mother left, things have quite gotten out of hand." Sirius further explained.

"Yes sir," Remus lifted a morsel tenderly up to his mouth.

Sirius's silver eyes narrowed, "Doesn't the food here suit you?" he asked softly.

"No, sir. I mean, the food here is quite – nice." Remus admitted that that sounded rather weak even to him so rushed, "I'm just a little tired," to cover up for his unsatisfactory reply.

"The gardener is called Mr Malcolm, he's been on the property for as long as I could remember. We also have one maid. Natasha is her name, although she is rather unreliable. I had wanted to fire her for a long while except she is good at avoiding me. Just the sheer size of the house helps, I suppose." Sirius elegantly sipped at his water.

"Even so, _sir_. I thought I was to help you become the Black heir. I am very surprised you haven't mentioned the will yet, _sir_." Remus tried to bite down the sarcasm.

Master Black smirked, "Quite to the point, aren't you Remus?"

Since Remus played around with his food and stayed silent, Sirius sighed and propped his elbows onto the table.

"There are a lot of conditions. The details are very refined and would take me ages to explain so I will summarise it for you Remus. Firstly, the heir is to have increased the profit margin and the Black family fortune by more than fifty percent than the other two people mentioned in the will. Second condition is to have an influential position in the Ministry - a place within the school governors or the Wizengamut is favoured. Thirdly, the heir is required to make the Black family one of the three most influential pureblood families in both wealth and reputation. Once conditions one, two and three are fulfilled, to receive Wulberga Black's consent – that would be the last condition for the heir."

Remus shifted his eyes uncomfortably, "Wulberga Black…your mother?" he asked slowly.

"Don't worry. As soon as conditions one, two and three are fulfilled – I am sure even my _dearest _mother would not have anything she could do about the outcome."

"The conditions are…very…" Remus was lost for words.

"The most difficult would be condition 3. Therefore, we need to work on it right away whilst we have time." Sirius pointed out.

"Excuse my saying so, sir." Remus asked, a little puzzled, "You could easily wed someone from one of the three presently wealthiest pureblood families and achieve that condition easily."

"That won't work Remus," Sirius answered patiently.

But Remus frowned slightly, "If you chose a wife who is the only child of an ailing father, then I am sure you would achieve the condition rather easily." He elaborated on his theory.

"That can not be done," Sirius answered, somewhat darkly, "We also need to have a good reputation and that act would only bring rumours around. It would take too long…Besides, I - "

"Sirius? Sirius Black?" a melodic voice asked hesitantly from Remus's right.

He saw Sirius look straight past his shoulder and he diverted his attention also, to catch sight of a young witch, happily making her way over, dragging a most elderly man by the arm with her.

Her beauty was the first thing that struck Remus. She had long, wavy lengths of auburn hair and a set of dark eyes that seemed so full of life. She had on; a stunning white dress and it matched her equally white teeth as she continued to smile.

The elderly man beside her coughed a little with irritation for being so unceremoniously dragged. The girl immediately turned towards her father and grinned apologetically, "I'm sorry papa, but it had been such a long while since I've seen Mr Black."

She then ignored him as she beamed at Sirius, "It _has _been awhile. And would it be rude of me to ask why you're here? I heard you were always busy in your office in the Ministry and hardly had time for…outings."

She threw a brief glance at Remus.

Sirius stood up and shook the hand of the aged man. "Mr Henning," he greeted. Mr Henning nodded, "Sirius,"

"Ms Henning, Mr Breton and myself were just discussing business." He gestured towards Remus.

"Mr Henning, Ms Henning. This is Mr Clemens Breton. He works with me at the Ministry." Sirius finally introduced Remus and didn't bat an eyelash as the lie flowed from his mouth freely.

"Mr Breton, this is Mr Edvard Henning, a member of the Federation of Warlocks and this is Ms Clara Henning, his stunning daughter."

At this Clara giggled whilst Remus tried not to look uneasy as he shook hands with Mr Henning and kissed the back of Clara's hand gently.

"I never thought your business meetings were this extravagant." Clara teased, although her glances toward Remus were still a little chilled.

"I do indulge myself once in a while," Sirius replied mildly.

Clara laid her dark eyes on Remus, who had been silent so far and the corners of her lips turned up slightly, "Have you been working at the Ministry for long, Mr Breton?"

Remus did not dare look at Sirius, "No ma'am.'

"A pity," she replied, although her radiant smile had vanished when she had turned to him, "you would have been able to see Papa at the Ministry if you had."

"Isn't that right Papa?" she clung onto her father a little tighter and stared up at his wrinkled face.

"Yes, Clara dear," Mr Henning's face shone with adoration.

Sirius took Remus's arm, "I'm very sorry but we are already done here."

"Oh," Clara stared at Sirius's hand that was on Remus's arm. Her face was cold.

"Let us meet another time," Sirius finished as he tugged at Remus.

"Err- it was a pleasure meeting you, Mr Henning, Ms Henning." Remus said politely.

Mr Henning nodded but Clara grinned, almost shark-like. She did not look so beautiful then, "Yes, quite. Let us meet another time."

Sirius steered Remus out of the restaurant after paying the bill. He let go, as soon as they were on Beryl Lane.

Remus cleared his throat, "You seem to know Ms Henning very well, sir."

Sirius glanced at him, "Not very. The late Mrs Henning was rather well known for parading her in front of me with every opportunity she acquired. I escorted Clara to last year's Christmas Ball hosted at the McNairs once."

He paused and stared at Remus intently, "Why? Are you jealous?"

That took Remus by surprise, "W-hat, why would I be?" he spluttered.

Sirius chuckled, "I guess, not yet."

Remus turned bright red in his face and muttered to himself discontentedly.

"Ahh, here we are." They had been walking quite a distance down the lane and Sirius swerved left into a shop that had _Merlins_ studded in gold letters and in smaller glittering writing, Remus read _Wicked wizard-wear_.

"Uh, umm…sir," Remus began to protest but Sirius had already led him into the impressive interior, where Remus saw all the walls lined with mirrors.

A man with slick black hair and a measuring tape slung over his shoulders walked towards them immediately. His black shoes clicked sharply on the granite floor.

"Young master Black. What can I do for you today?" the man asked, twitching his black moustache.

"My friend needs a few set of new robes, casual and formal." Sirius replied easily. Remus grew slightly pink, as he understood what Sirius was about to do.

"I can't af -" Remus swallowed his pride to say it but was in vain as the man took out a white piece of chalk and started marking points on his arm and around his neck. The measuring tape came to life as it tightened around his shoulders.

The slick man waved his wand around and fabrics lying nearby unrolled themselves and started arranging themselves around Remus. Scissors would fly and snip at excess fabric and needles with threads pulled through, would stitch seamlessly in mid-air.

The man shook his head a few times and scratched his chin before calling Sirius over to discuss the designs and style of the robes he wanted and left the material, scissors, needle and thread to continue hovering around Remus, still animated with work.

Remus sighed and stared at his reflection. Just last week, he had never even dreamed that he would be working for Sirius Black nor have new robes from _Merlins_. He marvelled at the fabric quietly but could not ignore the anger starting to bubble from the pit of his stomach. He didn't need charity!

Remus tried to pay attention to what the textiles were doing now. Sleeves were wrapping around his arms, and the pale blue material was very soft. Remus tried to caress the thick velvet that was currently then being draped over his shoulders but a reprimanding pair of scissors tapped his outstretched hand fiercely. Remus scowled unconsciously and nursed the back of his hands, for it hurt slightly.

"My, don't you look so handsome, all dressed up." A silky voice drawled near his ears.

Remus saw Sirius standing right behind him through the mirror and froze instantly. There was something dangerous lit in Sirius's blank pair of eyes.

Sirius extended a hand, his index finger reaching past his shoulder to Remus's cheek. With the other hand, however, he grasped his shoulder firmly and shifted all his weight onto Remus's back. His hand, inched closer and closer, ever so close to making contact with Remus's cheek. Remus watched transfixed onto that hand through the reflection. Sirius placed his chin on Remus's shoulder blade and finally stroked his cheek with aching slowness, "You're just like a doll…Mr Lupin, a doll." He snickered as he saw Remus's golden eyes widen with fright.

Sirius then drew his lips towards Remus's ears; his long lashes brushing the curve of his cheekbones. Sirius Black's ridiculously long hair started to tickle Remus. It was strange, although Remus was confused and indignant with Sirius's comment and behaviour, he was slightly intrigued, a sense of enchantment was tugging curiously at his senses.

But just as abruptly as he had begun, Sirius withdrew in a split second and turned around sharply, "Yes, Mr Mortimer, this is fine," he gestured to the soft blue material, "I would expect the arranged robes to be sent directly to my house in a few days time."

He gestured to Remus, "Come Mr Lupin."

The materials slithered off Remus and tucked themselves away at these words and the scissors fell lifeless. The measuring rope returned to Mr Mortimer's shoulder, limp and Remus saw his old self in the mirror again. The tired, shabby, patchy exterior. He sighed and followed after Sirius, too tired to even feel riled up about the fact that Sirius had called him over so crudely.

As they exited the shop, Sirius nudged him gently. "Something bothering you Mr Lupin?" he asked lightly.

"Yes," Remus burst out, "I can't afford those robes and, I don't need _charity_. Especially from you, Mr Black."

Sirius sneered, "Charity? I never give anything away for free, Mr Lupin. You will be paying it off with labour so no need for you to worry your pretty head about it."

Remus bit his lip, what Sirius said made sense too, now that he thought about it carefully. Damn…

"Don't look so dejected Mr Lupin. It takes away the sparkle in your eyes – cheer up, I'll buy you ice cream."

"Ice cream?" Remus asked incredulously, seriously upset now, who did Sirius think he was – a little 5 year-old child?

* * *

Remus was walking though Diagon Alley with a large cone clutched in his hand. It was piled with chocolate ice cream and choc chips, with a layer of chocolate sprinkles and chocolate shells. He was feeling considerably happier as well; sugars and sweets had such effects on Remus but still, nothing compared to chocolate.

Sirius saw the happy grin on Remus's face and could not help smiling, "You like chocolate?" he asked quietly.

Remus blushed and cleared his throat, he wasn't meant to be so uplifted by an ice-cream cone, he wasn't a child! "Yes," he mumbled quietly.

Sirius stared at his own, plain vanilla ice cream and gave a hearty lick, "What else do you like, Mr Lupin?"

However, his question was answered immediately when he saw Remus's awed eyes focus on a window to Sirius's left. Sirius followed his gaze to see an International standard broom, the _Firebolt_ for display in the window of Quidditch Supplies. He smirked as Remus tried to tear his gaze from the broomstick. He managed, with much effort and when he met Sirius's penetrating gaze, he hurriedly sped up his pace.

"You like flying?" Sirius asked, a little surprised.

"I don't mind it, sir." Remus bit off a large chunk of ice cream.

"Can you play quidditch?"

Remus nodded his head,

"What position?"

"I would say, a chaser."

"Strange," Sirius mused out loud, "I have never seen you fly at Hogwarts."

"I couldn't, because of my…condition," there was definitely an edge of defiance there.

There was a strange kind of silence that spread out in between Sirius and Remus, as Sirius grew lost in his thoughts. For the first time, he wondered how it would be like to be a werewolf, feeling dread and pain with each full moon. Wondered how much, just _being _a werewolf, would make your life difficult to live.

It was an unfamiliar emotion that Sirius felt, and when he saw Remus staring at him, he suddenly was full of something that could have been self-loathing. How could he have even thought of discriminating average people like Remus and with just cold indifference, because of who they were? Sure, they were beasts but what made them _human _were undoubtedly more important. When he thought about, Sirius was suddenly irked when reminded that Remus had not really willingly agreed to work under him.

"What did you really want to do after you left school?" he asked rather out-of-the-blue, yet decidedly curious.

Remus did not notice the strain in Sirius's voice, or even if he did he did not show it, "A healer," he gave a little snort, "as if that was going to happen."

"Why not?" Sirius asked darkly,

"Don't pretend you don't know sir, and spare me the time to explain."

Sirius noticed that Remus sounded like somebody he knew, and it was strange that he didn't like it. As they stepped into the grate, Sirius finally placed a finger on that somebody. That sarcastic tone, the plain hurt disguised carefully in indifference…Remus had sounded like himself.

"Kiann Hall,"

* * *

Remus stared at the small creature with eyes as large as a pair of bludgers. "You are?" he asked hesitantly.

"I am Daisy sir," the house-elf bowed. By the high register of its voice and the nature of its name, Remus classified it as a female.

"So, uh – Daisy. Can I see the menus?"

Daisy shuffled its awkward feet, "Daisy and the others just cook what the mistress had ordered us to."

"Mistress?" Remus asked, then he realised, "Oh…Mrs Wulberga Black? Do you mean?"

Daisy nodded her large head.

"But Mrs Black is not here," Remus wondered aloud.

"Oh," Daisy squeaked, "Us have just been serving master with the same menu the mistress gave us six months ago, every day." It explained.

"Oh, since she left?" Remus contemplated.

Daisy nodded its head again. Remus sighed, poor Sirius, having to eat the same meals each day, no wonder he was so thin. Anybody would get sick of eating, if they had the same food for six months!

* * *

Only a few people would understand the comfort and relief Remus felt at last when he sat down in the cosy eastern study and shifted through paperwork. The rustle of parchment, the smell of ink and the smooth feel of a quill in his hands, this was work Remus could do.

He saw through some documentation and saw that Sirius was monitoring the movements of other pureblood families quite hawk-like. He skimmed through one particular length of parchment, containing details about the Malfoy's securing a monopoly on the Caribbean floo-trading network.

Hmm, he started to jot down a rough draft of a report that he was required to hand in to Sirius every week. He then saw a peculiar date on Sirius's social calendar and an invitation enclosed neatly in an opened envelope.

Remus put on his rimless glasses to inspect the letter when the door burst open and Sirius strolled in, "Have you seen my white gloves Remus?" he asked buoyantly.

Remus gestured towards the bookcase where Sirius had left them lying unceremoniously, "Over there, sir."

Sirius grinned, "Thank you Mr Lupin," he walked over to slide his lithe hands into them when Remus asked absent-mindedly. "Sir, did you know that tomorrow was Lucius Malfoy's birthday?"

Sirius froze in his tracks and blinked.

"And you are invited sir,"

Sirius's grey eyes glazed over with something like…horror? Remus looked up to see Sirius take a seat, his eyes still unfocused and far away.

"Sir?"

"Remus," Sirius abruptly spoke, "Can you do me a favour?"

* * *

**Love it? Hate it?**

Haha – as per usual, please let me know!!!

And any suggestions are appreciated…

And I know some may say, what was really the point of some parts in this chapter? But I always liked the idea of Sirius and Remus unconsciously dating…haha, if you didn't like that, then sorry!

There are also some of these pairings, which I would like your opinion about:

Snape/Remus

Tonks/Remus

Sirius/OC

I know, not much angst for now, but I promise it will come!

**R&R!**

**Noeru K**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

All my **A/N **notes at the end of this page. Love to you all…

And for the moment

**ENJOY!**

* * *

Remus stared horror-struck at himself in the mirror. His golden brown hair hung in long tresses and he had on, a floor-brushing dusky pink gown that had a flaring skirt and thin, lacy straps. It hung onto his slim body that resembled the frame of a petite woman and Remus, in absolute degradation felt his newly acquired curves in disbelief.

"Engorgement charms only shape the gown in question and don't touch the body at all. So don't worry," Sirius replied to his action smoothly.

"I…I'm not doing this," Remus stammered, his face turning slightly purple. "This wasn't part of it…this is…" he was lost for words; he just gaped at himself for a good few minutes.

"My, you look so pretty, all dressed up," Sirius complimented reminiscently.

It occurred to Remus that Sirius wasn't the most tactful person on earth.

"I'm not dressing up as some woman," Remus snapped defiantly. "I thought…just for a split-second that I was under obligation to, but…this just _isn't _it." He inhaled slowly and shut his eyes tight before glaring at Sirius, "I won't do it! If you are so concerned about _strings being attached_, then get Mr Malcolm to dress up as a woman or get Natasha."

Sirius sighed, "It's a shame…I never thought you were the type that went back on words."

"Now, don't try to make _me _feel guilty," Remus warned. "You don't have an engorgement charm put on you, nor do you have hair extensions, lipstick or a dress on!"

"Dear Remus, you _told _me you would do me a favour. Besides, it could have been worse. If your eyelashes weren't long already, I would have had to attach fake eyelashes. You also saved me the trouble to layer powder thick on your face, thank Salazar that your skin is so pale and…" Sirius smirked, "feminine."

Remus was at breaking point, he tried to advance on Sirius and shake him but with one step, he faltered and groaned as he felt his ankle throb.

"You shouldn't move so rashly with high-heels on, Mr Lupin," Sirius chided gently, "You might hurt yourself,"

Remus glared at Sirius from the floor.

"Well, frankly Mr Lupin, I have little interest in your opinion right now, but…those robes that I ordered from _Merlins_, they cost a thousand galleons in total. I was wondering, when you would be paying for them?"

Remus's eyes widened in realisation, "Why do I need to pay? You…ordered them…those worthless things cost a _thousand galleons?_" Remus's expression was of shocked disbelief and after a moment's pause, he cried, "I told you I didn't want them!"

"Those are ordered in your name Mr Lupin and Mr Mortimer can testify that you cooperated with him with your own free will to have those robes ordered." Sirius added silkily.

Remus formed his hand into fists while grasping the dress, "I don't have a thousand galleons." He snarled.

"Which is why, you very well owe me this favour," Sirius smiled humourlessly.

There was tense silence as the anger drained from Remus's face and resignation seeped in. Resistance wasn't going to go anywhere with such a ruthless man as Sirius Black.

"Shall we?" Sirius extended his arm, "Ms Marie Saepens?"

Even if he was giving in for the time being, Remus wanted to make sure Sirius knew that he wasn't happy. As a last sign of rebelliousness, Remus stood up and did his best to stalk past Sirius with his very narrow and uncomfortable high-heels.

Sirius just smirked and followed him out of the room.

* * *

They were riding in a carriage. Sirius admitted it was a little old-fashioned, but it was tradition. Staring outside, he could make out the gentle glow of the moon and the dark towering forests of great oaks whipping past. He smelt the dark pungency of the night air and sighed. It had been a long time since he had ever felt this uneasy. Sirius let his grey eyes wander and they eventually became fixed on Remus who was sitting opposite him.

Sirius couldn't help smirking at how much Mr Lupin could in fact, pass as a woman. His already pale skin seemed to shimmer with the faint kisses of light and his weary, solemn pair of dark amber was rather like the moon itself, reflecting light in captivating seriousness. His bottom lip was more generous around the edges than the top therefore giving him a delicate pink pout, although the added rouge tonight just made his lips starkly contrasting to the pallor of his face.

However, just because he thought that Remus could pass well as a woman, didn't mean he _was _one. In fact, although Remus was not bulky and muscular, the veins along his arm and hand showed through blatantly and he had a strong jaw and collarbone that was quite masculine. Remus wasdefinitely a very refined handsome. The corners of Sirius's lips twitched into a reluctant smile.

One part of him was annoyed that he found his mind calmly analysing Remus Lupin. However, Sirius was not an ignorant fool – he had realised that he had nurtured some fondness for the werewolf a while ago and had thought of turning it into his advantage. The smile turned smug as he leaned back and flipped his jet black hair over one shoulder, he had made the right choice to bring him…if it was Remus, he might stand a chance. Against…_him_. Sirius felt his inside starting to chill. _Calm down_…he hissed towards himself.

Sirius drew a shallow breath for a pair of brilliant grey eyes that so resembled his own and the intoxicating smell of long white blonde hair that so resembled the night air, started toying with his senses. He tried to block the picture from his mind's eye. He gritted his teeth and had, in that instance, unconsciously closed his eyes.

After that envision, however, when he opened his eyes to look at Remus once more, there was something so blank and empty inside of him, he wanted to cry out in frustration. After all the years, all the years of preservation and determination, Siriuswas still unable to break free of _his _control. Just the mere memory of him had the ability to rob Sirius of any feeling.

For now, even as Sirius let his eyes roam over Remus's sculpture-like face, he felt the oh-so-familiar feeling of indifference, heaviness and blankness that he had felt his entire life. The cold bitterness was sour in his mouth at the realisation. In that instance, Sirius had forgotten what true happiness and warmth was, that he was sure had felt little by little with his brief exchanges with the person sitting in front of him. Sirius recalled that there had also been a moment when he had wondered how he would have thought of prosecuting innocent victims like Remus.

Though now, he couldn't even start to comprehend that idea at all and the logic that might have compelled him to think that way. Werewolves were beasts and no doubt, the wizard in front of him would lose all signs of humanity, his pretty face shed to become a monster to kill. Yes, Mr Lupin was a werewolf, a dark creature. Even though Sirius hated himself for the superiority he felt seep into himself with his train of thoughts, he couldn't help himself abruptly sneer at Remus's presence.

He hated feeling stupid, yet now he realised, how hopeless it had been to wish to forget about _him_, to break free of _him_ with Remus at his side. What _was _Remus anyway? Who was he to be able to help him?

The reality and the capacity of it hit Sirius like a dowse of cold water. His heart ached with the sudden absence of pleasure and anticipation he had felt a few moments before. There was nothing but cruel, condemnation that gripped him now. If it weren't for his pride, Sirius would have hung his head in desperation. He had tried so hard, but now…he was undefended, unprepared to face _him_.

Sirius had thought he had fought claustrophobia when he was little but now the carriage walls seemed to tighten and constrict, the black interior, tall and crushing in on him. It lit inside him, an instinct to start clawing away at the walls and bash against it to stop itself from closing in on him. He started to dig his nails into the nearest side of the carriage. His hand rigid and angular against the hard surface. His face was wild with unseen horror and his eyes unfocused.

Then, he felt it. The immediate flood of something golden.

He blinked and saw that the carriage was not compressing at all but quite spacious. He looked at the place where this sudden source of comfort that was pulsing into his body came from. He looked down and saw his hand in the hand of another. Startled, he looked up to see a very worried face creased with concern very close to his own face.

Sirius wondered in a daze, who it was. His mother? But his mother never had such doleful pair of amber eyes. It must be an angel, he thought, slightly dysfunctional; he had seen them in pictures. People with white, glowing faces and golden brown hair with pair of eyes that flooded you with contentment.

"Mr Black?" a voice pierced through the thick white haze.

Sirius gaped as everything came back to his mind. Yes, he was in a carriage…with Remus. Not an angel…something inside him seemed to twinge in disappointment. It would have been pleasant to see an angel, Sirius thought absent-mindedly, his life had never been the happiest one and all his life he had thought it would be the luckiest thing to be able to feel something uplifting, perhaps something like genuine happiness. Most had told him repeatedly that you achieved this by being loved.

Love - he had disliked yet seemed to have yearned that word. An angel might have loved him… and given that vital something that had been missing to him his entire journey so far. Sirius did not care much about death, if he had died and therefore seen that angel, he would not mind at all. Death was just another phase of life…the end of a journey, and he had wished more than once for it to come quickly.

Everything he did nowadays seemed to be for the use of him proving himself to other people and being under their judgement. He had thought that by being the Black heir, he would be able to achieve that freedom of being himself, finally break free of the constrictions placed to him by social status and the family name. Because if he was in charge, none would matter. Or so, he believed, but would it achieve that feeling he had felt for a split-second by seeing that angel? Sirius liked to convince himself so…

"Mr Black?" Remus asked, carefully again.

Sirius gave him a thin-lipped smile, "Yes?"

"A-are you alright?" he asked hesitantly.

Sirius broke free of Remus's grasp, "Fine, thank you."

Remus shot him a quizzical look but shrugged dismissively, "You seemed a little…" he trailed off as Sirius glared at him.

The carriage came to a sudden stop. They had arrived. Quietly, they spilled out onto the gravelly forecourt just outside the Manor, but the mansion's splendour was initially lost upon Remus. He was too worried about how to conduct himself and how he would be able to deceive people from the pinnacle of pureblood power that he was the fourth daughter of the Saepens, a notable family in France.

Sirius had never had the time to inform him of some valuable knowledge of the Saepens, which were in Remus's eye, crucial, for the people at Lucius's party would surely ask him such questions about his family in the manner of small talk. Sirius had rebuffed somewhat calmly that he wouldn't be leaving Remus's side so he could answer for him and all Remus had to do was look ladylike and smile. Remus wondered whether Sirius had been goading him back then.

Remus didn't quite know the reason but Sirius seemed to be taking a detour. As he was steered to the side, Remus opened his mouth in protest but then, he had encountered the Manor's resplendent grounds For all his desire to remain unaffected, his mouth opened a little in surprise that Malfoy could be heir to something of such exquisite beauty. The reputation of Malfoy and his cold logic seemed at such odds with the gentle, natural beauty hiding in the growing shadows winding around before leading up the steps towards the house.

In that small space of time, Sirius had acquired a steely resolve. "Shall we?" he asked, offering his arm for a second time. Remus accepted it stiltedly and hardened himself for entering the Manor. The great doors of the grand house swung open without human intervention, spilling light, laughter and music out into the night air.

"Are we late?" Remus found himself asking nervously. In addition to the fact that he was an imposter, he didn't especially want to be scrutinised by a whole group of new faces tonight. Remus had been a son of an average medi-wizard whom had offended Fenrir Greyback in the loosest sense. Oh, and he was also a werewolf. Quite naturally Remus would have never aspired to be in such a party before and was sure this would be the last.

"A little," Sirius replied with a dry twitch of his lips.

A beautifully crafted staircase dominated the Manor's entrance hall. Tiny, milky-white flowers had been delicately laced around the carved banisters. Spheres of sparkling white light floated in the surrounding air, and illuminated the large chamber. Remus let her eyes wander over all of this until her thoughts were harshly interrupted.

"Sirius Black?" a high voice trilled. A lithe figure stepped out of side room and positioned herself squarely in front of Sirius so that she was unavoidable.

"Ahh, Narcissa." Sirius replied, totally suave. Remus was the only one who noticed the amount of strain in his tone. "I heard the great news," Sirius continued, pain suppressed in every syllable yet perfectly normal to the untrained ear, "I believe congratulations are in order."

"Yes," she answered coldly, "But you need not bother yourself, I know what is really going through your mind."

"I believe you when you say you think you do," Sirius answered just as coldly but Remus detected, hard, compressed rage hidden in his tone.

Narcissa smirked, "This engagement was _for _his cause, not an excuse for him to bow out."

"Why don't you speak plainer, I have already enlightened my escort for tonight with this family affair." Sirius pointedly drew Remus closer to him, "This lovely young lady is Marie Saepens," he introduced aloofly, then he turned to Remus, something like sadness reflected in his eyes, "And this is Narcissa Black, my _cousin_."

Remus suppressed the urge to gasp, cousin? They looked nothing like each other, if it was not for the regal look. Sirius had dark hair and glittery silver eyes whilst she had golden hair that was a cascade of silk, cast behind her back and her eyes were of the palest blue.

The way they talked to each other was quite disturbing as well. They were family after all, but then Remus calculated. If she was his cousin, then most likely she was Cygnus Black's daughter. Sirius's uncle, who was also after the Black family fortune. Their overflowing fondness for each other now seemed to make more sense.

"The French Saepens?" Narcissa mused, "Marie? Did you say?" She nodded her head a fraction, "How _interesting _that Sirius should escort you here tonight,"

"You're supposed to be helping host this event," Sirius interrupted cuttingly.

"I know," Narcissa replied curtly, "Just wanted to greet you of course, since it had been years since we've seen each other. _My dear cousin_." Narcissa said sarcastically, "By the way, Clara also seemed to be looking for you." There was something unsaid within her casual comment.

"Did I hear my name?" Narcissa had disappeared to be replaced with the more bold and fiery Clara Henning. Clara seemed to have sauntered out of the same room Narcissa had arrived from.

However, as she caught sight of Remus, her face consorted into blatant, cold hatred. Her voice was icy, "I see you have an escort for this evening," she directed at Sirius, "fancy though. I have never seen _her _before,"

Remus suddenly felt like just a mere ornament attached to Sirius's arm. No, not even an ornament. When Sirius remained silent, she fixed her stony eyes onto Remus. "Has Sirius already taken your coat, or did you forget to bring one? You seem to have forgotten to do your hair." Her eyes fell to Remus's naked throat, notable for its lack of necklace. "Begging my pardon, but who are you?" she put rather bluntly.

"Ms Marie Saepens," Sirius finally spoke. A vein twitched in his temple.

"Oh, the French Saepens. I had thought that the family could afford some jewels but perhaps I was mistaken." This deliberate insult made Remus think about opening his mouth to retort, but Clara was like a poised cat. Any stupid footings and she would pounce on him as her prey. It was better to leave Sirius to do all the talking.

But undeniably, the perfume, the light and the grandeur of this place were actually getting to Remus's head. He had always been a sick child and he was prone to feeling nausea if he was in an unfamiliar surrounding and this snake pit of hissing, influential women did nothing to stop him feeling quite dizzy.

As if he was hearing his voice from a great distance away, suddenly Remus heard Sirius speak.

"Would you care to dance, Marie?"

He was unaware of Clara's reaction to this, unaware of his own answer even, all he was conscious of was the arm that had wound its way around his waist and the guidance it provided him into the ballroom. Stepping into this majestic room had the same effect on Remus as being dosed by cold water. The clarity of his mind returned.

"I'm sorry about that," Sirius muttered difficultly. Remus's eyes narrowed a fraction.

"No you're not," he argued, as he was led expertly through the throng of aristocratic witches and wizards who were laughing and drinking and dancing. Quite a few tried to catch Sirius' eye, but for the moment he ignored them.

He stopped walking and Remus realised that they were standing in the centre of the dance floor. "But I didn't know you'd have to suffer that when you're actually not-" he paused awkwardly, and his silence was filled by the orchestra playing the intro to the waltz.

It had never felt like this! Like his partner was an extension of his own body. He could feel the very physical power of the man holding him now, in the strength of his hands and the firmness of the muscles lying beneath the respectable, crispness of his robes.

He was so very tired. Remus realised, when confronted with his strength, he was tired of fighting doggedly day after day, struggling just to keep his head above water. Held in Sirius's arms he suddenly felt so very safe. Remus had never really danced this formally before; he was beginning to be increasingly grateful that as the woman, all he had to do was let Sirius lead him.

* * *

Remus just let himself smile slowly as the music washed over him. But even whilst dancing, a small part of him was constantly on the alert, he knew this fragile peace wouldn't last long…for nothing rarely did.

Already two people were advancing towards them. Sirius led him slowly from the dance floor and his manner was so distracted and distance that it triggered something within Remus that made him nervous for the first time.

Sirius's grip on Remus tightened as Remus registered the tallest of the pair. His stride so confident yet elegant, the man strode towards them with whom Remus recognised as Narcissa attached to his arm. Remus made out the long, white blonde hair and silver eyes that were so much like the eyes of his employer. Yet, they held no sparkle or glimmer but just blank, blistering coldness.

Lucius Malfoy. He was finally going to meet the infamous past convicted death eater who was rumoured to be in league with Fenrir Greyback. Just the mere thought caused Remus's body to shake in anger. In that space of time, Lucius gave to a complete stop in front of them, he gave a coy smile, "Well, Sirius Black…it has been a while. Half thought you wouldn't turn up but of course, you were always considerate of what others thought of you…" his voice was deliberately low and husky.

Remus felt Sirius's weight shift onto him as if Sirius was leaning on him for support. He tried hard not to buckle.

"I believe congratulations are in order," Sirius said robotically.

"Quite," Lucius breathed. The atmosphere was so thick; Remus thought you could slice it with a knife. For the first time, Remus also realised something like fear being apparent in Narcissa's eyes as they darted between her cousin and her fiancé.

There was painful silence where Lucius's formidable eyes seemed to penetrate deep within Sirius's soul. Narcissa looked on in contemplating silence. Remus felt it as Sirius leant more heavily onto him. He felt him shake slightly, and his wrist might break if he continued to let Sirius cling onto it! Remus did not know how to react. First of all, he had never seen Sirius, this terrified and secondly, he was never great at quietly reassuring anyone. So, he took the course of action that he deemed was the most urgent. He freed his wrist from Sirius's vice-like grip.

This mere simple action, to Remus's great surprise, however, broke the tension. The air around them seemed to breathe once more as Sirius stared down at his hand, which had been so constricted before, and Lucius took his gaze off Sirius to fix it onto Remus instead.

"I heard that you have come all this way from France no less, to be with Sirius." Lucius started silkily.

Remus tried hard not to cringe internally and inaudibly coughed. He opened his mouth and tried to quash all doubts as he spoke for the first time, "With a portkey, it is not a very hard feat,"

The high register of his voice surprised even Remus and Sirius sent him a very impressed look.

"Still, not quite a journey, one willingly takes just to turn up to a social event." Lucius pressed.

Remus wondered what other creative lie he would have to concoct to explain himself, but to his relief, Sirius spoke again. At first, there was a little tremor to his voice but he recovered remarkably, "Ms Saepens is my fiancée." His statement felt like a challenge, hanging in mid-air.

Narcissa's eyes widened but Lucius only smirked, "Congratulations. I haven't heard the news, so forgive me for my discretion."

"I'm currently showing her around the house." Sirius continued.

"That is in order, although…I must admit, it is a bit unexpected." Lucius added, a little off-hand.

"Please forgive my saying so, but your union was also a little unexpected." Sirius added, an edge in his voice.

Something like realisation lit for once in Lucius's eyes but it only made him seem more dangerous.

"Hmmm, before the toasts, I would like to give you something…in my study," Lucius drawled lazily, yet he couldn't quite disguise a flame that was kindling in his slaty depths.

Sirius tensed visibly, "What would that be?"

"You would know, when you see it." Lucius said condescendingly and with patience, he turned to Remus, "Would you excuse Sirius for a brief while," he asked softly.

He had not realised it but Sirius's hand was again along Remus's wrist. It was warm but tight and when Sirius's head was turned towards him, it was of unshielded vulnerability, desperation, yet it was also distant, as if he was already resigned. Resigned to whatever it was.

Remus wanted to say he couldn't excuse Sirius but what could he say? Lucius only wanted to give Sirius something and he said it was for the briefest of whiles. Besides, whatever fear Sirius carried against Lucius, he was sure that he had to face up to it one day. It occurred to him it would be better sooner than later.

There was a last flicker of doubt within Remus as he saw such openness in the man he had thought once as being completely ruthless but it was quelled as he decidedly undid Sirius's hand from his wrist and took a step back, "It will be brief?" Remus wanted a confirmation but Lucius replied with silence on his part as he led Sirius away.

Narcissa glanced at Remus dismissively before she too, disappeared amongst the throng of people to resume her hostess duties. Slightly dejected without Sirius by his side and with shadows of regret starting to loom over him, Remus wandered away from the crowd of people to be alone.

Remus ran a finger over the tiny petals of the moly flowers that adorned the banisters. He'd escaped from Clara Henning whom he had unfortunately bumped into before she narrowed her eyes and asked scathingly, "Wait Ms Saepens, do I know you from somewhere?" and the crowded ballroom; back out to the Manor's hallway. If he'd had a cloak then he would have slipped outside, but the staircase would serve as a good enough hiding place for one night.

After taking numerous glasses of white wine and champagne on top of amber liquid that burnt his throat, Remus realised that Sirius was taking an awful long time. He suddenly felt so alone and small. He had been confronted without Sirius, too many times on his heritage and had earned a lot of disapproving gazes when he sat on a chair and spread his legs apart casually without much thought.

Slow footsteps suddenly drew Remus's attention. He lifted his eyes to see Narcissa approaching him. He grumbled discontentedly to himself, influenced partially with the alcohol but gave a sweet smile as Narcissa drew herself to his level.

"Lucius needs to be present for the toasts, I would appreciate it if you would fetch him from his study, it's the left door from the right corridor." She said snidely.

"Why don't you _fetch _him yourself," Remus countered, he was feeling drowsy and also a little at ease.

Narcissa's shrewd smile drooped, "I'm busy," she snapped coldly and pointedly stared at Remus who started to pick apart the moly flowers, to emphasise the comparison.

Remus stood up unsteadily, "Fine," he settled rather churlishly.

Narcissa smiled, "Excellent," then she too, strolled away.

"Left door, right corridor. Left door, right corridor." Remus repeated to himself over and over again. His mind was feeling rather hazy yet he needed to remember this!

Left door, right corridor…Remus twisted right, after he had walked up the flight of stairs. He looked carefully and although slightly blurred, he made out a door to the left. This must be it. Feeling rather pleased with himself, he opened the door without second thought.

-------

Remus noticed that a wand had been whipped out and pointed towards him, "Obli -" but Lucius's quipped words were interrupted with a much harsher one.

"No!" Sirius had scooted off the desk and stood between Lucius and Remus. His pants still unzipped and his shirt and cravat, barely hanging on him. Remus saw purplish marks on Sirius's visible torso and wondered vaguely what it was, there was also blood trickling from light gashes and his lips were already crusted with blood.

Remus with almost child-like curiosity reached and touched Sirius's lower lip. He flinched.

Lucius untangled himself from the top of his desk, which had crushed parchment and disarray of broken quills littering the top, yet just bordering the space Sirius had been lying moments before. There were many books flung across the floor with more pieces of parchment and an inkbottle had seemed to have fallen, spraying its contents everywhere.

Lucius was shirtless. Remus saw the well-formed muscles rippling as he calmly picked up his shirt, which was lying in an unceremonious heap and slid it on. He also retrieved his tie, which had been on the floor. He moved easily and quickly, his deft fingers already tugging at some creases.

Remus looked at Sirius who advanced towards him and grasped him by his shoulder. Maybe it was concern or just pure alcohol but Remus found himself buttoning Sirius's shirt and tightening the cravat, donning himself with the job to make Sirius look marginally presentable. Sirius seemed to be crumbling from inside, he made no other resistance as Remus dressed him properly, his face hidden behind his long, dishevelled hair.

Lucius had still been fingering his wand, "None of this gets out, Sirius." Lucius breathed lightly, "You didn't want that girl's memory modified, so you're in charge. Any…_indiscretion _and your _fiancée _will be acquainted with my _friends_." His tone was so light and pleasant, Remus wondered if he was talking about something so casual such as about the weather.

Sirius didn't lift his head but just took Remus by the shoulder and led him out of the study. Behind them, Lucius was immediately waving the wand to return the study back to its tidy, normal state. The door shut by itself quietly and there was grave silence as Sirius stopped walking and let his hand slid down to Remus's elbow before letting go completely. The fresh, red blood was already seeping through the white shirt and Remus was the one to notice.

"We better get your coat sir," his strange sense of priority, making him able to pull through such a situation, "otherwise people will be suspicious," Remus continued. Sirius sighed and nodded, Remus still couldn't see his face properly because of his lengthy, tousled hair. Remus steered him downstairs and used whatever willpower he had to successfully retrieve Sirius's coat without much notice and lead him outside into the gardens.

The fresh air hit both of them in the face and Remus took in a few gulps of air to clear the lingering effects of firewhisky. Sirius remained silent. With the press of bodies, music, spirits and blinding light pass behind them, there was a gentle air of comfort mounting between them. Remus drew his wand and started to undo the extensions, the engorgement charm was nullified and the gown sagged depressingly at some places but he did not mind.

Remus led Sirius deeper within the gardens where pure silence smothered them and the stars were the only pinpricks of light far ahead. They seated themselves on stony benches and Remus tried hard not to think too much of the scene he had just encountered. It hurt his head if he even began to contemplate. Just ignore it, a smart portion of his brain advised, ignore it and do not try to understand its full capacity…so Remus thought hard about what he would have said to Sirius if they had walked ordinarily into such an exquisite garden. Comment on its beauty, most likely. So he cleared his throat and began,

"They have lovely roses here,"

Sirius didn't even turn his head.

Remus couldn't take his lack of response for an answer.

"The roses here smell slightly different…"

Sirius seemed to be made out of marble, Remus was curiously impressed with such stillness and blankness.

He then sighed, it seemed that Sirius was too occupied with what had just happened that if Remus did not make any relation towards it, he would only get empty silence as a response.

"Sir, I didn't see anything if you don't want me to. You shouldn't think that you would have such a hard time sile -" but Remus was cut off as Sirius stood up abruptly.

He turned towards Remus and his grey eyes that had been so empty before was full of something like hurt and loathing, "How could you do this to me?" he burst out.

Remus was stunned, "I don't - "

Sirius curled his hand into a fist in frustration, "You could have…you didn't…" he seemed nearly close to tears, "and you don't…" his voice faltered into nothing but Remus would be a fool if he thought his anger had abated.

Suddenly Sirius gave a sharp bark of laughter, "No…It was me…because this was what it was after all, just a bargain…mutual, there should have been nothing more."

He gazed at Remus with indifference yet Remus knew otherwise, there was immense sadness and bitterness suppressed there.

"I'm sorry I put you through this tonight," Sirius said, cuttingly formal. But he wasn't strong enough to carry the act out entirely, he turned around so that Remus would not be able to see such ache and disappointment reflecting from him and with the most energy he could muster, stalked away.

Remus stayed exactly where he was, seated on the cold, stone bench and did not follow him.

* * *

**Love it? Hate it?**

Please let me know…

Long chapter? Yes, I know…sorry readers if there were points which were just my ramble but you see? To me, it makes perfect sense…but to you, maybe not, because you don't really live in my mind…but bear with me!

Plus, huge thank you to the amazing people who told me of their opinion on a few pairings. That will help me a lot on a few points. I know, some may be very confused right now with Sirius but I _will _straighten all of that out…still to come.

Not very angsty but I promise it all comes later…any grammatical and punctuation errors, forgive me!!

Yes…please do NOT steal the plot. Malfoy mansion and Sirius's house and some clique phrases from Aulizia and Kirixchi. Thank you! I am a great fan of yours…

What else? Well Remus is a very sensible person. I know, some might think that Remus should have broken down and be in total shock, trauma mode but Remus is in a stage where he is so shocked, it hadn't hit home yet and whilst it isn't hitting home, he uses his sensibility to take care of things, as you just read.

Well, thank you for being patient with me…

Noeru K


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 

Okay – I decided that all my brilliant reviewers spent minutes reviewing my story yet I never spent 5 minutes acknowledging them. Although, I guess I spend more time on my chappies for you lovely people…well, my story doesn't mean much to me, unless you tell me it's brilliant! Haha, because to me, I think the story is alright, but my opinion doesn't count you see…;)

So, I am writing _for _you, so here are my beautiful reviewers sooo far:

**EMO-NESS – thank you for reviewing! As you can see I have updated.**

**potterfreak0515**** – Haha, I am honoured to think this story is 'excellent'. Great word by the way…it makes me feel so bubbly inside.**

**All Play No Work – So humbled to think that Jack, the ruler of the universe would review my story! Yes. –smile- I am very happy and I have already sent you a message…so thank you for your long review!**

**Constance – Thanks for your reviews! Here is more for you to enjoy**

**Rekahneko – I have really been touched by the fact that you reviewed all my chapters. Really touched, and you are totally right of course but Sirius and Lucius's relationship is not what it seems to be. Hahaha, look forwards to the revelation. I am glad, my ramblings make sense. There are more, trust me.**

**Heavenhelpme – I am also touched that you reviewed each chapter and just your feedback. Much appreciated!**

**Kate – You are also another reviewer who is so dedicated! Thank you, love you…and the last review about me being a brilliant writer…oh! That made my day! I was reading that review over ten times…yes, I am a little sad…haha, but bear with me…thank you for your encouragement on each chapter.**

**Schwanendreher – The fact that I have Sirius's turmoil on a good level is awesome! Thank you for your personal thoughts. **

**Anno. – Thank you for thinking this is original!**

**Caitlin – Yes, thanks to your lovely review…hopefully I am keeping this story up.. –smile-**

**Shadow17Marauder – Now that I know you love it! I have this insane drive to continue with this story no matter what! And see the end…**

**Nicole – I have taken your opinion onto account, I will show everyone pairings later on in the story. Unfortunately, Snape would have a small part to play in this…Tonks too…I already have an OC –wink-**

**Afaim – Thanks for your opinion!! Enjoyed your lengthy review…**

**Aclytie – You are too smart for your own good, but there are a lot of my reviewers who are so smart…that I have been forced to make my plot very twisted.**

**Sailorbuterfly – Glad you like my plot, here is more, for you –smile-**

**Yuren – You guessed right! But that's not all. Lucius is evil…but I find him cute…ha, forgive me if that sounds a little disturbing…but there is more angst to come!**

Sirius (serious…) unfolding of the plot starts here, first I need to redeem Sirius and get multiple views on Remus.

…sorry - that was a bit unnecessary.

Well – **ENJOY!

* * *

**

Remus wasn't feeling too good when he woke up, disoriented the next morning. His head throbbed and he felt like he would vomit any moment. At first, with the addition of the pounding headache, the unfamiliarity of the room startled him and caused him to sit bolt upright before everything came back to him. The events of the past days, particularly of the evening yesterday were vividly branded in his mind. He groaned and rolled over in the delightfully snug mattress but no matter how long he stayed there, his consciousness only grew sharper and any attempts of falling back into slumber seemed hopeless.

He finally gave up and rubbed the grittiness from his eyes. Propping himself on his pillow, he sighed and tried to sit still until he could get used to the pain. But in reality, Remus knew that was just an excuse and that what he really needed was a moment before he could face Sirius. He had no idea why Sirius had been angry with him yesterday but the most irking thing was that Sirius had not been completely angry with him but also hurt by him, as if he had committed a betrayal of some sort. It put his head in even harsher agony to think about it so Remus just let his mind be a state of blankness.

However, it didn't last long. Like water, worries about Sirius started seeping back into his present thoughts. If he saw Sirius, how would Sirius react? Would he still be angry? It wasn't fair, Remus concluded. Whatever he did wrong, he had the right to know what it was. Then Remus realised that just not meeting Sirius would be the best until Sirius would directly go out of his ways to see him and settle this misunderstanding or if when Sirius desperately needed him to do an urgent job. He remembered faintly about the maid Natasha, having dodged being fired by the aid the size of this house had provided. Remus was determined to use this advantage to the full extent.

The pounding eventually subsided but as Remus ran a tongue over the inside of his mouth, he felt the dryness and roughness similar to one found in sandpaper. Even his own saliva seemed to have dried out, he was terribly thirsty…and he needed water. As Sirius had instructed him, to summon a house-elf, he gave a nearby bell a little ring. It gave the faintest tinkle but with a smart crack, a small, pudgy house-elf dropped in a dogged curtsy. It must be a female; Remus drew up with that small gesture. "Can I have a glass of water?" he croaked. The house-elf gave an enthusiastic nod and produced a glass of water in the briefest of seconds before passing it onto Remus.

Remus took a swig and felt that he could talk properly once more. In relief, he drained the rest of the cup and stared at the house-elf who was waiting rather awkwardly.

"So…" began Remus, feeling slightly sorry for the creature, "Is Master Black out?"

"No sir," the thing squeaked, "Usually master is out for his office but we's know that he hasn't left his room at all this morning."

"Oh," the gears in Remus's head started turning. He returned the cup to the house-elf who gave a grateful nod and disappeared.

Remus took this chance to lean his head that felt much heavier than usual to think quietly. For what he had thought about Sirius was that he was always such a prompt, busy man - yet he had missed work today? How odd…maybe as the manager, he should check on Sirius. And perhaps confront him if he had enough energy. Remus was privately glad that the full moon was a while away otherwise with the mounting agitation he usually felt close to the full moon, knew he would have done something he would have regretted with the awkward situation he had been thrust into with that damned party yesterday night. Well, there was nothing to reap being cooped up in a chamber doing nothing Remus convinced himself.

Although, still feeling weak and defenceless against Sirius's wrath, if he still was mad, Remus dragged himself towards halfway down the left-hand wall where Sirius's door was closed shut tightly. Remus gave a tentative knock. "Sir?" he called through the wood.

There was absolute silence in which Remus only heard the sudden, loud beating of his heart. As the minutes dragged by, Remus in dejection was about to turn around and just mind his own business, first starting off by dressing up, he thought deadened. However, as he turned around, he thought he heard the faintest of moans and then a sudden choking gasp that was unmistakable.

His heart beating more furiously, Remus whipped around to push the door open. Fortunately, it was unlocked and he spotted that the lock though, was one-sided and only Sirius could set it. _Typical. _But besides paying attention to anything else, Remus crossed the room that was eerily quiet. Sirius was nowhere to be seen. Cautiously, he made his way across the large room that had plenty of light spilling from the crystalline windows and gauziness being blown gently by the breeze, filtering through such open panes. At the furthest distance was the large bed the size of a regular swimming pool.

The sheets were pure white and so rich in volume that it was hard to make out Sirius until Remus was standing right next to the bed. Sirius was sunk and immersed in the middle, hands clasped next to his face, his whole body turned towards one side. He was moaning softly to himself, his eyes tightly pressed together. Thin perspiration stuck his jet-black hair to his head and his lips moved feverishly. Remus was still only in his thin shift but out of simultaneous concern he reached out his hand to lightly touch Sirius's forehead. It was burning! Remus did not panic, as his father had been a medi-wizard, he knew how to deal with a fever but the most important thing was not to wake Sirius from his slumber. Sleep was the best for a fever and no matter what nightmare Sirius was battling, it was physically beneficial to him and Remus was sure his employer would agree with him.

There was no other place to sit, besides the floor so Remus sat on the edge of the large, white bed. Sirius started shaking slightly and spluttered as if he was drowning. Remus glanced on without pity, for he reminded him so much of a person he had known. A person who had had nightmares every night until he had been forced to grow up. Himself - in fact. Remus took this time to quickly fill a glass bowl full of hot water from the bathroom attached to the room and grab a small hand towel. He laid it on the edge of the bed and dipped the towel in efficiently. Many thought that cold water was the best for a fever but in fact it was the opposite. If cold water were to be placed on the burning forehead, the body's mechanism would respond by raising the heat within the body to counter the cold therefore would not deal with the fever at all. However, if heat was applied, the body would automatically cool down to accommodate that change and therefore help the fever.

It was so still in the room and so picturesque, Remus felt inner peace and tranquillity as he laid the hot towel across Sirius's forehead. Sirius murmured something incomprehensible but he stopped shaking. Unconsciously, Remus suddenly felt compelled to grasp Sirius's hand. He did, and felt the physical and emotional turmoil Sirius seemed to be experiencing. Don't have nightmares, Remus found himself pleading, not nightmares…anything but nightmares…don't have nightmares…please? He squeezed Sirius's hand tightly and continually observed Sirius's face. Such a handsome face, Remus found himself thinking once more. Slanting, gracefully lidded eyes shut with long, inky eyelashes smudging the curve of his cheek…

Remus shook his head sharply as he caught himself staring happily. It was so hard, he realised, to be annoyed with someone who looked so beautiful and vulnerable…he lifted the hand that was entwined with Sirius's own and with a sense of duty; he used it to smooth a few tendrils of hair off his face.

He had never meant for it to happen, maybe it was the stirring of the wolf within him, or maybe it was the gravity, that inevitable force that made his fingers curl.

Curl around Sirius's shoulders and make him shift his weight onto his stomach as he gently leaned in.

Leaned in, so that his mouth made the gentlest impact against Sirius's defenceless lips. The place of contact was so heated; there was a low hum within him that made the blood rush to his head as his heart began to beat so erratically. The thrill made him lean in harder, his lips more squarely panting, something making him part his mouth and fall more blindingly into such blissful warmth.

But then…something had been in his way. A jagged, unpleasant sensation cut into his lip. Remus was jolted back into the present with a small interruption. His eyes, which had been somehow shut, were now wide open in realisation and horror. He had kissed Sirius…willingly…by himself…oh…

He scooted off the bed and twisted onto the floor with such force that when he landed, his body shook with the impact and emotion. He had…what had he done?

Remus took a few breaths to calm himself and after willing the shock to ebb away, let himself peek at Sirius's face to see if he had awoken and seen his atrocious behaviour.

Luckily, Sirius's eyes were still tightly shut and he was fast asleep. Instinctively, his eyes wandered towards Sirius's lips that were glistening with slight moisture. Remus felt rattled and pained…no, that hadn't meant anything…stupid impulse…what impulse? Remus felt the debate unfolding within his head as he hugged his knees to his chest. No…_definitely nothing_ prompted that…I was just still a little upset about yesterday and with Sirius looking so vulnerable and…beautiful…

_NO! _Remus shook his head sharply like a dog trying to clear itself of water. Sirius was still asleep, so nothing happened Remus Lupin. I tell you, _nothing_! After this forceful statement, Remus felt considerably better and allowed himself to sit on the bed once more. The mattress sunk a little as he reached out for the towel that was now lukewarm and dipped it in the hot water. Remus carefully spread it out across Sirius's forehead once more. Something like curiosity prompted Remus glance more at Sirius's lips once more and there was still the blood crusted, dark purple on the corner of Sirius's lower lip. So, that was what had stopped him…a relic of another…

Remus's mind wandered to Lucius and with unknown cause to the passion, he suddenly was filled with a deep feeling of hate lodged in his gut. The scene of the night before flooded back in, in which he had walked into. The predatory glint in Lucius's eyes and the broken ones of Sirius…The wand pointed at him, yes…Remus realised with a start, he had so narrowly escaped with his memories…Lucius was about to cast the memory charm in which…(something warm flooded Remus) Sirius had stopped him. Sirius had…even in that state…All at once, Remus felt such an unfamiliar feeling of remorse…he was – sorry. Sorry…without an inkling why. Remus stared out one of the windows in puzzlement…he was sorry, he was sure he was sorry…the sensation he was feeling was of deep repentance, but why didn't he know what he was sorry for?

Remus could have laughed in bemusement if he didn't want to preserve the quiet, only broken by the rustling of the gossamer curtains. After wiping a trickle of water that had fallen past the lid of Sirius's closed lid, disguised almost like a tear, Remus resolved that he was angry with Lucius because Lucius had come so close in parting him from his memories, so ruthlessly and readily. Not that any of his memories were treasured, Remus noticed bitterly.

But yes, Lucius Malfoy had no right to part him from those in the first place, worthless as they were. Yes, Remus sighed in relief that was why he hated Lucius not for anything else – not for anyone else.

* * *

_So many years together…Lucius had always been there…_

_In fencing classes, quidditch, parties…in his life…an ever constant source of comfort and beauty. He shone, with his diaphanous white blonde hair falling about his face gracefully and his sparkling grey eyes so much more brighter than his own._

_-------_

_His presence was such a constant, it was like drowning…drowning, and drowning in the warmth, the slight curve of his lips implying a smile and everything were always a few shades brighter._

"_Sirius," he had said one time, his voice soft and mellow._

"_Yes?" you had prompted him. There had been a trace of sadness in his eyes, that dimmed the brightness …and you really wanted to know. _

_The gardens were beautiful, like any other thing in the Wiltshire Mansion. The smell of the nearby roses were unique yet intoxicating and yet, there was nothing so captivating as his habit of cocking his head onto his shoulder in a slightly dejected gesture, as he did then. But you were so worried, it took something immensely grave to make Lucius shed his pride and show such blatant sadness._

"_Mother is ill," he answered without any tremor in his voice. _

_You mull over what you want to say, "Is she very ill?" you say carefully. _

"_She won't let herself be treated," Lucius say in level tones. Something like frost seep into his voice, "She's been cursed…by father,"_

_You unconsciously cover his hand with your own, "I envy the relationship you have with your mother…" you whisper, "…I wish I could act like you if my mother was in such a condition."_

_Lucius withdraws his hand, "You don't understand," he said, "I wish I could hate her…hate her for her weakness and unwillingness to stand up to father." He sighs straight after, "then at least, it will be simple."_

"_No, it won't," you say firmly, "Always despised and constantly falling short of expectation… to hate her, You will always have an empty spot…" you jab gently at his chest, "there, like me. I wish, I wish…" your voice had disappeared._

_Lucius forgets his own trouble and turns to you, he reaches for your hand and traces the grooves in your palm, "I'll tell you your future,"_

_You try to pull away, "Don't be stupid,"_

_Lucius however still holds on firmly, "You will find great happiness…and fulfilment in here," he reaches for your chest, "here," he repeats, "…with love,"_

_You can't help smiling and when you gaze deep into his eyes, it is there…love. And the aching, the emptiness is fulfilled at once…you know you had loved him from the moment you had seen him. _

_Nobody told you that it wasn't love…love was a lie, a pathetic excuse…_

_-----_

"_It wasn't him! I can swear - "_

_So much blood. You don't know what to do. You needed to get to him…Lucius's hair was stained with ominous red, so stark with his original white blonde._

_The dungeons were dark, _

"_It was me…it was my fault," you end up begging, "Not Lucius…let him go!"_

"_Shut up!" the man roar. There is so much power radiating from him. His wand, so black, like his heart is clutched within his hands and in his other hand is his cane. A silver serpent glints on the top, its emerald eye so malicious. There is the stain of crimson on its teeth…Lucius's blood._

"_When I told you, how many times have a told you…you ungrateful," the cane comes down again and again on Lucius's head. He can resist, but he does not…his grey eyes are guarded and blank…so cold, the first time you have seen him like that._

_For once, you are frightened of him, "Don't…please…" you murmur as Lucius is dragged off in a bloodied heap. _

"_Go back to your chamber," the man growls dangerously, "you're going back tomorrow,"_

_------_

"_I hate you,"_

_You can feel the hot prickle of tears threatening to spill from your eyes. "You don't mean that," you try to say indifferently._

"_If it weren't for you…" Lucius says so cuttingly, "I hate you…I curse the day I met you…I hate you for being alive…" he suddenly laughs, "You are the only person…who can make me this pathetic…I hate you Sirius…"_

"_You can't say that," you feel as if someone was ripping your chest apart, "I never…I'm sorry, sorry…"_

"_Don't act pathetic Black," he spat._

_The first time he called you as a Black, "Don't…I can't," you try to explain._

_He cuts you off as he crushes his lips onto yours. There is no warmth in that, there is no source of comfort and life but dead and heavy torrent of hate and malevolence. You try to hold him but he doesn't stay…please stay, you almost let these words burst from your lips and push him away but you can't…you won't…_

_Lucius suddenly swung his hand and the contact is broken. The side of your face stings and you are thrown backwards. _

"_Don't make me punish you," he drawls icily. You can't help it, the tears fall. He wasn't always like this…you are sorry, you never meant…you could do anything to amend the gap that now, you realise is too late to even think about it…the gap is too wide, too dark, like a gaping abyss._

_Out of the corner of your eye, you think you see something like shock and horror lurking in his eyes as he see you cry, there is something like pain there as well, resembling yours. But when you see him properly, he is sneering. _

"_You are pathetic…too pathetic," he scoffs._

_You bite your lip in silence.

* * *

_

Sirius awoke with a start. Even in such grogginess, he felt a heavy weight on his chest that made him panic. His eyes opened with a flurry and his head lifted off from the fluffy pillow as an automatic reaction. Then, he saw Remus. His head across his chest and one arm draped around his waist whilst the other lay loosely by the towel that was now cool across his head. His hand still rested gently against it. Sirius felt the wet cloth and dropped it onto the floor tiredly. He lay his head back to try and banish the webs of sleep still cast upon his mind and carefully eased Remus off from him. Abruptly, he realised how cold it was without Remus to warm him. In a fit of violent sleep, the sheets were half on the floor in addition with an empty glass bowl, soaking the carpet with its contents. Sirius gazed at it with puzzlement but as realisation took hold, he allowed himself a faint smile.

He lifted Remus into his arms and after tenderly tucking in Remus's head under his chin so that there won't be any strain on his neck, walked into the newly Remus's room. He laid him on the silken covers and pulled up the sheets up to his shoulders so he could sleep peacefully. As he walked out, he closed the door softly, slightly disturbed by the tingling that took hold of him as he had seen Remus so frail and attractive, with his golden brown hair mussed whilst framing his face perfectly. He looked so peaceful sleeping! But it must have meant he had been exhausted, if he was in such a deep slumber, Sirius apprehended. He shouldn't have burst out like that the other night, Sirius was quick to feel regret, it was unpardonable and would have made him appear so unstable.

Sirius sighed and ran a limp hand through his long hair. He should be at work. At work, he was able to forget about most things.

* * *

Remus was having breakfast in bed when he heard Sirius come into his room. He buttered his crumpet with relish and took a bite as Sirius approached him. Sirius was dressed handsomely in a black suit, his hair tied back. Remus took a sip of milk and waited for Sirius to say something. Indeed, Sirius stood at the foot of the bed but only smirked as Remus continued to pile jam onto another crumpet and take a hungry mouthful. In quick strides, Sirius had picked up a serviette and had dabbed at Remus's lip where stray jam had clung. Remus blushed furiously but just as quickly, Sirius dropped the serviette. 

"We have to visit father's grave today," he said briskly.

Remus nodded whilst he chewed.

"A year since he passed away,"

"I see…"

Sirius hesitated, "About last night…"

Remus swallowed and waited.

"Since I practically told the entire wizarding population, you're my fiancée…"

Remus's face darkened, he didn't like where this was going.

"I think you might have to continue with the ruse a little longer than we planned."

"How long?" Remus felt a shiver down his spine.

Sirius shrugged, "Hmm, until a few weeks after our marriage?"

Remus spluttered, "_MARRIAGE_?!" he cried in surprise and nearly upset the tray arranged delicately across his lap.

Sirius considered thoughtfully, "Yes, well…since we're meant to be engaged, it will damage my reputation if we don't…"

Remus thought he had had enough unpleasant surprises but this one made all the other ones a trip to the candy-store, "but, the real Saepens…"

"Don't worry, money can keep them quiet. Besides, they're in France…they wouldn't mind. They don't even have a third daughter, their youngest died as an infant." Sirius grinned, "So, ten minutes Mr Lupin."

He turned around and left Remus dowsed in ice-cold water. It was all Remus could do to stop himself from hyper-ventilating. He had basically nursed him back to his healthy self and this was the reward he got, Remus thought furiously. Get married…arggh…to him? Oh, my gracious Merlin…help me. _You kissed him_, a treacherous voice inside him hissed.

"Shut up!"

Sirius stuck his head back in the room, "ten minutes," he repeated, his face more malicious than before.

It was only after Remus heard Sirius's soft footsteps disappear into the distance, that he let himself groan out loud. Out of all the strange, cynical people out there, it had to be Sirius Black who had proposed the Werewolf Identification Act. _You kissed him_, that little niggling voice repeated.

"SHUT UP!!"

* * *

Remus quickly fiddled with his black tie. Why were these things so difficult to do? He quickly jumped down the staircase, skidding across the polished floor to come to the front door. On the border of his vision however, he saw the see-through outline of a ghost - Banot. Banot was nodding in the direction of the doors and it was opening to let in a flood of sunlight. Remus walked briskly up to Banot to see why he had let the doors open, but he had seen the reason for it oh so clearly before he even had a chance to open his mouth. 

His eyes widened in horror as Clara stood in the way. Her auburn hair tastefully swept up onto her head. She was flicking a speck of dust off her short dress but then her eyes fixed on Remus.

She gaped, "Marie…? No…Mr Breton…" she faltered.

Remus cleared his throat awkwardly and tried to produce a deep baritone, "…That would be Mr Breton, Ms Henning," he tried to say off-handishly.

Clara's eyes reflected great confusion, "My apologies…but Mr Breton, are you at all related to Ms Saepens?" she mumbled more to herself than to Remus.

Remus, seeing his chance quickly confirmed, "Ahh…yes. Umm, second cousins, removed…err – on the mothers, no…ahh yes, I mean on the father's, no, mother's side…umm, yes so she would be the daughter of my far uncle…my mother's French you know – well, so…second cousin removed…" he paused, "yes," this was in a very strangled tone. Remus smoothed back his hair, "So," he breathed, trying to move past the rambling speech he had given, "What brings you here on such a fine day,"

"I came to see Sirius," Clara replied coldly, her eyes narrowed suspiciously, "I heard from Narcissa that Ms Saepens was also staying here in Kiann Hall. I also came to voice my congratulations towards them both and wish them a happy future, at the party last night, I was unaware of the," she suppressed a grimace, "little fact, you see."

"I see," Remus replied stiltedly, "Well, I heard, uh...Marie is ill, _very _ill. I don't think the English countryside really agreed with her much. Homesick, I daresay…"

Clara nodded, slightly jilted, "In which case, I would still like to see Sirius…"

"…I'm sorry, we were just about to leave," Sirius's silky voice could not have come at a more appropriate timing. Remus sighed in relief and turned around to see Sirius, fully dressed in the appropriate attire.

"Oh," Clara puffed in disappointed, "I always do have the most dreadful luck." She paused to give Sirius a hopeful smile however, "Perhaps, next time? I was just dropping by on my way to father's office anyway," she refuted quickly as an addition.

"Yes, perhaps."

He nodded yet Sirius steered Remus out of the door past Clara to a portkey, a little silver key that was dropped in the middle of the turf. Clara gave one last reproachful look at Sirius's back before walking back to an area to apparate – Remus personally would have been outraged to be ignored in such a way but Clara seemed to be in a daze after seeing Sirius in a suit. Sirius rolled his eyes out of sight and bent down to pick up the silver key. Honestly, that woman was popping up everywhere! He hefted it onto his palm before his long fingers clutched it and handed it towards Remus.

"Here, we don't want to be late."

Sirius and his damned reputation, Remus thought. Not that Sirius much cared for his dead father, resting quietly in his grave.

Then, Remus's eyes flickered from the silver little key to Sirius's equally silver eyes.

"No," he whispered under his breath.

"Come on, we don't want to be late." Sirius repeated, his eyes unsmiling.

"I –I…" Remus swallowed.

"We are going to be late," Sirius's tone was of utter impatience yet bemusement.

Remus cursed Sirius from deep within him, but there was no real choice as he gripped onto the key.

As he reluctantly and in resignation dropped his hand onto the silver key, his worst fears were confirmed. Knowing Sirius, the key was of pure silver. There was a boiling, sizzling sensation on his palm and the tangible yet horribly sweet smell of burning flesh was all around them.

With the addition of the environment evaporating around them to be replaced by the sombre setting of the cemetery, the laughing face of Sirius…and his silver eyes, Remus felt nauseous. Remus shuddered and the sudden sharp fear of Sirius himself made him forget the pain eating-away at his hand. He could have screamed, he would have screamed if it weren't for the fact that no sound came out because the pain…the fear was too great, it was obstructing even the smallest of freedoms.

There was a tiny thud and the silver key dropped. Remus's hand felt swollen with just the ache. Every nerve was on the edge of the manifesting throbbing. Ignoring all the tendons screaming in agony, Remus formed a fist. There was no way; he was going to show Sirius the mark that he had put on him. Sirius's eyes wandered very subtly to the fist but only raised an eyebrow as he turned around and walked smartly into the midst of the tall tombstones. Remus felt the tears well up inside of his eyes - he hated Sirius. Why had he even cared when he had a fever? _And you kissed him. _

_SHUT UP! _

Remus gritted his teeth and felt the blackened blood dripping mercilessly from his fist. _Drip…drip…drip…_

Remus ignored this and followed hastily after Sirius.

Now that he looked properly, the tombs were very far apart and spacious, not like the usual cemeteries, crowded with common white stone. Each tombstone was of the most unique design and most had fencing around the grave even further.

Sirius had come to a stop in front of one of the largest graves with a white, carved angel, hands clasped in prayer and its wings jutting in a strange angle from its hard back. The grave was near an outskirt of a forest and as Sirius laid a few blossoms at the feet of the angel, Remus spotted a dark figure, standing just near the edge of the black groves.

"Sir," he asked, momentarily forgetting his anger, "there's someone…"

Sirius had caught sight of two small bouquets of flowers already at the foot of the tombstone.

"Regulus," Sirius sneered.

Remus's head whipped around. Regulus…that was Sirius's younger brother… - who was also after the fortune…

In the direction where Remus's eyes were directed, Regulus eased off from leaning on a nearby tree. He blended in so well with the trees with his black hood and cloak. But his ominous garments were such at odds with him in question for Regulus drew a hand to draw back the hood and his face was that of a youthful teenager. A small face with bright eyes and soft features. He just had a touch of weariness as he turned to his older brother, but he looked so fresh…and vivacious.

"Sirius," he greeted.

"It has been a while," Sirius muttered with contempt.

Regulus looked a little tired as he walked towards them, "You look well,"

"So do you,"

There was complete eerie silence as hollow wind whistled around the bare stones jutting from the earth. Remus, in slight agitation found himself shredding the flowers clutched in his hand. His blackened blood from the burn had stained them a horrid colour and Remus threw them away at the foot of the stone angel in surprise. Regulus's eyes travelled with the flowers and it flickered back towards Remus in natural order. His pale cheeks were suddenly touched with pink and he looked away, baffled.

Sirius watched this exchange with interest, "So…don't tell me you came all the way here without mummy," he crooned.

Regulus ignored his tone, "Mother left to get some incense that stops the weeds from growing, it would save us from wasting time and money on hiring someone to come and tend to them."

"How long does it last?" Sirius asked with little interest.

"Three months," Regulus drew his hood back up. His face was not so obviously visible, but during the time of unsettling silence, it seemed that his self-control was at his limit as he reached out to bring attention to Remus's tight, bloodied fist.

Sirius's eyes were sharp, in the same moment, he had reached out a hand to stop him.

In a blink of an eye, Regulus had given an unexpected yelp as he visibly flinched. He took a few steps backwards even though Sirius had only gently brushed his forearm.

The silence now was menacing, "You…" Sirius narrowed his eyes, "…haven't"

Regulus avoided him, "I don't know what you are talking about," he said softly.

"One – of – them…" Sirius's voice was barely audible.

"So, no more…Sirius. I'm not a weakling now Sirius…" Regulus had the desperate air of a trapped animal playing its last trump card.

Remus suddenly felt for him, although whatever Regulus had done seemed to be foreboding.

Sirius sneered openly at Regulus, "Fool…" he tutted, "You never change."

Regulus's head snapped up and his sparkling grey eyes were piercing from that hood, "You don't know what you're talking about," he said passionately but not with control or malice but of a delusion.

Remus shifted awkwardly on his feet. He saw Regulus clasp his hands down his front and bow his head towards the angel. After a swift, unreadable gaze, Sirius also imitated the gesture. Brothers stood before their father, acknowledging his spirit.

Remus stood a little aback before also giving a silent prayer, 'I pity you Orion Black, to have children that are at each other's throats…although you pitted them against each other…as for me, even for a short while I had…"

"You…scum!"

The peaceful silence was shattered with a loud, booming voice.

Regulus did not look up but Sirius and Remus did to see Wulberga Black. In one hand, she had a candle of incense and another was gesturing at Sirius wildly and in an almost psychotic way.

She took a few strides and already was in front of Sirius. She raised a hand to strike Sirius but Sirius caught it efficiently and easily. He was smirking at her. In a fit of rage, Wulberga threw the incense on the ground. Regulus wordlessly rearranged it as he ignored the action unravelling in front of him. He had such a weary air, as if he had been used to it all his life.

Remus shifted his attention back onto Sirius who had tightened his grip on his mother's arm and was smiling sadistically as she squirmed. She howled as he twisted her arm but then he let go abruptly as her other hand had found her wand. There was a scar, that now ran across his wrist and it was letting off a foul odour. Wulberga took a step back and ran her wand hastily over her swollen arm and Remus saw her disjointed muscles ripple as she set them in place. She grimaced but only a little. Wulberga would have been very beautiful in her youth, yet old age had made her skin sag and age spots were visible everywhere that even charms could not permanently erase.

She was very rotund and if so much fat did not obscure it, she would still have a ghost of the high-boned, delicate handsomeness that was so apparent in her sons. Sirius had drawn his wand and had also hastily patched his minor injury. He pointed it straight at his mother, "You're not even worth this," he said dangerously.

"SHUT UP! DISGRACE OF MY FLESH! CURSE UPON THE MOST NOBLE AND ANCIENT HOUSE OF BLACKS! HOW DARE YOU STAND BEFORE ME AND MY SON AND MY HUSBAND WITH YOUR LOWLY PRESENCE. HOW DARE YOU…TRAITOR, IMPUDENT…GUTTER SCUM THAT SHOULD BE WIPED FROM THE FACE OF EARTH." Wulberga said this torrent of words and yet had no little hitch in her breath.

"Yes, how lovely to see you too, mother." Sirius replied sarcastically.

"BASTARD! YOU SHOULD JOIN CYGNUS IN HIS GRAVE. NO, YOU ARE NOT WORTH…NOT EVEN WORTH A PLACE IN THE UNDERWORLD…HOUND! DOG!"

Sirius blasted a torrent of power towards her and Wulberga's reflexes weren't top notch. She staggered with the impact but stood upright, momentarily out of breath. Regulus took this as a chance to stand in between his brother and his mother.

"Sirius, don't. You're acting childish." He said in an undertone.

Sirius shrugged but did not remove his wand and neither did his eyes stray. Regulus turned to his mother, "Please mother, restrain yourself."

"I SHALL NEVER REST UNTIL I END THE CURSE WHICH I SO FOOLISHLY BEGUN…" she started towards Sirius but Regulus threw himself at her, "Please," he hissed, "not even for father?"

Wulberga faltered and she saw the cold, stone angel…praying.

"Not even for the dear husband you have lost?"

She blinked, but the sour look did not pass as she spat on Sirius's shoes and turned around in disgust, "If it weren't for Cygnus, I would be wiping the pathetic excuse for a house that I was exiled to with you."

"How charming," Sirius quipped but as she tucked away her wand in the folds of her dress, he lowered his arm.

"Regulus!" Mrs Black talked over Sirius, "I am going to get another candle of incense, and then we needn't come here in six months time. This place upsets me."

Then she stalked off into the distance, her heavy steps vibrating the ground.

After a few minutes of consideration Sirius spoke, "I'm going to get a drink."

Regulus passed him a warning look, but Sirius averted his eyes and also walked out of view.

"He's going to do something to her," Regulus said aloud without much thought. Remus was about to say that Sirius would surely not harm his own mother but he wasn't too sure.

"As you already know, I'm Regulus." Regulus suddenly turned towards him and extended a hand, "Nice to meet you Mr…?"

"Lupin." Remus smiled faintly,

"I am sorry, I admit the introduction was late however…" Regulus shrugged, "There wasn't the time with…all this," he waved shrewdly around.

Remus nodded, "No, I understand."

Regulus smiled, "I am also sorry about that…mother and Sirius had not always been on the best of terms."

"I've realised," Remus tried to force some humour into his voice, "I had actually assumed their interaction would be something like this."

Regulus attempted to laugh, "It's always been like this, trust me. They even had a duel in Twilfitt and Tattings, in front of everyone there when I was younger. Sirius had caught mother with a stunning spell, he was locked in a cellar for weeks."

At the mention of a cellar, Remus felt the blood drain from his face.

"But more importantly," Regulus started, his tone much more serious. "What do you do Mr Lupin?"

"Oh," Lupin answered easily, "I work with Sirius at the ministry."

"Hmmm," Regulus lengthened the pause, "You work for my brother?" but he didn't sound surprised.

"That must mean, you must know of the will."

"Pardon?" Remus asked, stunned. It was now so obvious that Regulus knew much more than himself and if that was the case, there was sure to be a trap somewhere. Remus would have to do his best to stop himself from walking into one.

Remus now had determination and weariness in his posture.

"Our father's will," Regulus explained. He looked positively delighted, "You must be very trustworthy and bright, if Sirius would let you work for him." He elaborated.

Remus shook his head furiously, "No…no, that was actually…a mistake – no…it wasn't Sirius's choice." Remus concluded shabbily.

But Regulus was unfazed, "My brother always has a choice," he stated matter-of-factly. "But I won't beat about the bush Mr Lupin. Actually, I have been wanting to meet you for a while."

"You have?"

"Yes,"

"I know that my brother doesn't pay you…"

"How did you…?" Remus asked astonished.

"I have my sources," Regulus said dismissively. "But I have an interesting proposition for you Mr Lupin. I would like it, if you could work for me."

"Oh," Remus said, a little startled but understanding the concept, "I'm sorry, Sirius and I have a contract and it's…"

"Sirius needn't know about it," Regulus cut in brightly, "your job is very simple actually, Mr Lupin. Just report to me on Sirius's movement…that's all,"

"Spy on him, you mean…" Remus put bluntly with distaste.

Regulus beamed at him, "You do catch on quickly. But for you, thirty galleons a week. If there is any suspicion, the employment is nullified. I will agree to everything you wish for in the contract we will form, as long as you would do this for me."

Remus bit his lip in thought, "This is too fast…and -"

"It wasn't like your agreement with my brother was considered any longer," Regulus put in, imposing how much he knew, it wasn't lost to Remus.

"And knowing my brother, I expect he isn't treating you so well…"

Remus furrowed his brow but he loosened his stance as Regulus raised an eyebrow at his fist. Remus knew he only needed to look at the brand the silver key had given him to know the truth.

"I daresay we will see each other soon enough,"

Regulus turned his eyes skyward,

"Or you could owl me if you want, I am sure your owl would be bright enough."

Remus opened his mouth to say a retort, Regulus was doing too much talking and that was holding too much sway over his thoughts.

"And well, I mean…my brother doesn't even give you a wage when you put in so much effort to take care of his matrimonial problems…that's hardly fair,"

Horror flooded Remus…Regulus couldn't know…wouldn't…

But his face was so pure and innocent, just an eager smile of an excited youth. "Just for security's sake, please do not try to purposely leak our little talk to Sirius." He grinned, "I have sources…and well, they will be watching out for you of course."

Remus's brain activated, this was very important information Regulus was telling him. He knew too much about Sirius's private life…he had _sources_. What sources? Remus began to think hard.

"Remus!" Sirius called, he was breathing hard as he appeared besides them. Regulus clammed up straight away.

"We're leaving," he said sharply.

"And…mother?" Regulus prompted.

"She's…coming," Sirius sent him a look that would make even the bravest souls shiver. Regulus just sighed.

Sirius led Remus away and Remus only had the briefest moment to glance back at Regulus, standing alone. Regulus mouthed 'think about it' clearly and so brightly.

Remus avoided Sirius's penetrating stare. "You're acting odd," he said bluntly.

"Shouldn't I be?" Remus snapped.

Sirius shrugged, with his wand, he pointed it towards a large twig lying on the ground and levitated it into the air with a jet of blue light.

The twig shimmered before dropping back onto the ground.

Sirius tucked his wand away, "Come on, let's go home."

Remus reached out a hand to grab the portkey but unconsciously, he had loosened his fist and flexed his other, damaged hand. The pain shooting up across his arm was automatic. Remus was forced to look at the dried blood, mingling with other fresh dripping of blood from the branded grooves and marks of the key. Shrivelled flesh, battling with pus and skin ripping from the sudden disturbance of the fixed position the hand had formed before the fist was loosened. It was a battlefield of sick yellow, purple, black and red.

Sirius smirked, "You better put some ointment on that," he said softly.

'_Think about it…'

* * *

_

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	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**A/N:** I KNOW! Long time, no update….sorry, sorry…but when someone pmd me I realised. I love this story and I love all who would be reading it and I made a promise…so, here it is. Next is the wedding but not this chapter unfortunately. Building the angst. Please feel free to read the other chapters from scratch to build up the momentum again… I think some may have lost it…well

**  
ENJOY!**

* * *

Sirius was sitting at the breakfast table when Remus walked in, he had to summon a house elf to lead him, but he was there none-the-less. Sirius was skimming the Daily Prophet disinterestedly whilst Remus poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Remus," Sirius began,

"Yes sir?" Remus stared at the black beverage intently.

"I was wondering about investing in some quidditch gear," he mused aloud.

Remus started stirring his cup, "Not a bad thought, sir. You could make quite a profit in that field. It has always been popular, you very well know how many children have been pressing their noses against the display glass of quidditch supplies"

Sirius sighed, "Not that they could afford most,"

Remus shrugged trying to avoid a long conversation, especially in the morning, "You can leave it on the desk. I'll go through it."

"You know…I've been thinking, I've always liked the idea of spring weddings…_we_ should have one in October."

Remus had been taking a sensitive sip from his black coffee; he preferred it bitter – when he spat the whole contents out in a violent, hot spray of liquid.

"Pardon?" he coughed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"We're engaged…so we have to organise the wedding before things get last-minute." Sirius gave an uncharacteristic coquettish grin.

"ww-wait…sir, we're not _really_ engaged." Remus protested.

Sirius put down the Daily Prophet that he hadn't been following and gave an irritable twitch with his wand. The stains and spilt coffee evaporated without a trace.

"Sure we are," Sirius continued nonchalantly, "All you need is an agreement…and maybe a ring," he gave a noncommittal shrug.

Remus pushed the cup from his hands, "Look – Sirius," Remus said seriously (…). Sirius cocked his head to one shoulder, listening intently.

"With the thousand galleons and the…werewolf issue, I've come this far. I've did whatever you've told me to…but marriage, is – very…_sudden _and…impossible…and _wrong_ and… - "

Remus didn't see it coming, not the way Sirius had wound his arm around across his waist, forcing him to stand up as he pushed the chair from behind him. It crashed onto the floor with a loud thump and Sirius had hugged his body so close to Remus, Remus felt his body literally on fire. Sirius was so warm! Remus felt his resistance being swept aside as Sirius dipped his head and started to nibble gently on the soft cartilage of his ear.

"You want to," Sirius purred.

Remus sighed wistfully as Sirius's mouth moved across the base of his neck, tickling his sensitive neck with his tongue before travelling wetly up to his mouth. The kiss was so forceful, Remus was pushed back onto the floor as Sirius probed deep within his mouth. But Sirius was so skilful, Remus could not help moan and therefore encourage Sirius to intoxicate the pressure. Remus found himself becoming dizzy with the lack of oxygen; he was furiously kissing him back, tasting fresh mint that might have been a lingering flavour of toothpaste yet a drug-like tanginess that was entirely the other man.

Supple fingers had already pushed the crisp shirt from his shoulder, revealing pale skin that Sirius touched sensuously with relish. Remus felt something familiar stir inside of him and realised with horror…that it was the wolf…

"No," he gasped as he tried to push Sirius away.

Sirius undid his own shirt and flung it in an insignificant direction. His strong torso bearing down on Remus with full strength, Sirius used a hand to rake the stray strands of hair off Remus's face.

"So…in October then? _Darling_?" There was such an inbred arrogance in that tone that Remus dare not reply.

Sirius shifted his body and the places that were in contact with him were heated with burning passion.

Remus heard a soft growl rumbling deep within him, "No," he tried to say once more but Sirius had grasped in his hand, a bundle of bandages. In truth, it was Remus's hand that had been bandaged up. As a werewolf, silver burns could not simply heal by magic therefore Remus had given it a makeshift dressing.

Sirius undid it achingly slowly, his eyes never leaving Remus's face. The gruesome brand was then revealed in its full-crusted glory. Sirius ran a thumb over the burn. Remus flinched. Sirius applied more pressure on the thumb. Familiar pain shot through Remus once more, Remus tried to pull it away but Sirius's hand was vice-like.

The intensity of the pain increased, Sirius's thumb was now dug into the damaged and also new skin, shooting fresh spasms of agony as Remus writhed from under him. Sirius finally let go as Remus managed to sit himself up in a sitting position as he clutched at his hand like a wounded animal. All fires of lust were quenched in Sirius's eyes. No light, no fire…there was once more, the grey of a blizzard. Sirius leaned in for one more kiss but just after the slight contact, Remus made a grab for his unravelled bandages and accurately fled the room, clutching his shirt protectively around him.

Sirius stayed where he was but aiming at Remus's back he said conversationally, "Your hand's getting better."

Remus threw him a hasty, wordless glance. As Remus's retreating back disappeared, Sirius mused, "You know you want to…"

* * *

Remus didn't know what it was, but there was a horrid sensation, one you got similarly when a raw scab was ripped off. His body was shaking; the core of him had developed a tremor that spread throughout his whole body. He was angry, _furious_! But not all furious…for starters, he was disappointed, within himself…and also with Sirius. He had never thought that Sirius were like the people…the people he had so wished to flee. But you weren't stupid, he reminded himself as he suddenly felt a slight deprivation of oxygen entering his lungs, you knew what Sirius was…you had your eyes wide open when you went in to negotiate.

But there was more bitterness and terror, he felt…so vulnerable. His silver eyes, his sneer, his scent…Remus was horrified of every aspect of Sirius and his…cruelty. He shivered as he felt the prickling, lingering trace of wet mouth on sensitive skin…but there had also been resignation, he reminded himself. Remus hated himself; he could be so passionate about something yet honestly, being blatantly indifferent about it deep inside. The trembling had stopped abruptly. But don't forget, not everything was just deadened weight and lust, something prompted him. There had been hope. A fleeting, small wish that Sirius was different…beneath all that though, he was…perhaps special?

Remus sighed as he got up from the floor…but Sirius wasn't. Nothing special, just black and white…Black, yes – that was Sirius Black. With his fingers trembling from an emotion he could not accurately place, which only irritated him more, Remus quickly did his shirt and buttoned it right up, tightly. Somehow, he had managed to manoeuvre himself to his new second home – the study. There was crisp parchment that awaited him and he exploited it. Gripping a quill rigidly, Remus started writing.

_Mr Regulus Black,_

_I accept your offer. However, I must ask that whatever agreement is forged between us, that you solemnly swear that my impersonating as one of the Saepens will be your knowledge and your knowledge only. Any hint of such indiscretion would result in immediate termination equal to the termination if there were to be any hint of contact between you and myself to Sirius Black or his other staff on my part. (just as you have asked)_

_Yours,_

_Remus Lupin._

Remus would have loved to convince himself as he tied the letter to the leg of his handsome tawny owl Griffiths, that he was making this choice in an act of defiance against Sirius's concrete control over him.

Yes, he would have loved to act as though Regulus's knowledge that might jeopardise Sirius's aim had nothing to do with it, because why would he care if Sirius failed?

The owl, fluttered off magnificently into the air and Remus was left staring afterwards it.

Remus preferred to not answer that question.

* * *

Sirius had no idea what had driven him to where he was. Foolish, acting like a common pitiful muggle…Sirius reprimanded himself but it was only half-hearted. He was feeling something slightly glorious in the pit of his stomach, which he hadn't felt for a long while. There was a flicker of excitement in those usually constant grey eyes as he traced a hand over the glass display case.

Which one would suit such ethereal beauty?

Sirius paused, his hand somewhat above the one that had caught his eye. Just like…

The witch coughed politely and Sirius's head snapped up from admiring observation.

"Yes," he began and the witch smiled with delighted smugness.

* * *

"Remus - " Sirius called quietly.

He treaded softly across the floor and headed towards the oh-so-familiar door. He knew Remus would be sitting by his desk in the eastern study, his face ever so thoughtful and a pair of uneven glasses perched on the bridge of his fine nose. Perhaps, eating cookies and milk whilst writing with the other hand? Sirius smirked, he was now contemplating the other man's actions…be careful Black, the sensible voice chided him but Sirius had convinced himself long ago that his affection was only of that given to a toy and Remus was his latest one. Sirius Black had a lot of toys and he tired of them easily…Sirius was confident…much too confident…

When he pushed the door open, the actual sight of Remus working undisturbed would have still stupefied Sirius with or without resolve. His chin propped delicately on the back of one hand with traces of dark chocolate smudged over his lips, whilst his hands slightly inky, busily scribbling down figures… Checking and rechecking them with casual elegance… The flurry of paperwork being shifted around in such adorable solemness… Sirius could have laughed, smiled, strode towards Remus and plant a furious kiss on such unguarded lips but felt taken aback by the rush of emotions he had felt in that moment, and besides his certainty, still felt disturbed by being so caught off-guard.

He coughed to get his attention. Remus looked up, a soft, sleepy yet guarded smile on his face, "Sir," he began, "I've been through the sales of quidditch gear and the profit margins of…"

He was cut off as Sirius reached deep inside the pocket of his handsome black cloak to drop a small, velvet box onto the desk with a gentle clunk.

Sirius didn't understand why he felt such a ludicrous amount of eagerness as he opened it and pushed it towards Remus.

Remus stared at the contents and his face flushed a delicate pink as realisation hit him.

"Why?" he murmured but Sirius was ready for anything he would throw at him.

"Because we are engaged, Mr Lupin. This is what you do when you're engaged." And without waiting for an answer drew it from its velvety, smug bed and placed the thin, entwined band of platinum and gold onto his slim finger. It fitted seamlessly and Sirius allowed himself a satisfied smile. Remus was rendered speechless as he tried to calculate the cost of such a thing.

More than just a bundle of silly robes, he concluded. He hid his horror well, what else was Sirius going to make him pay?

But Sirius had already turned around and was closing the door with a gentle click.

Even though Sirius never knew why he felt so uplifted the entire day, he _had _known that he wasn't disappointed. Just seeing the pleased, pink blush spread across Remus's face and his astonished soft response was all he had needed and expected.

Yes, he had made the right choice, Sirius was proud enough to admit. Just be careful, that rational part of him hissed, but it was quickly forgotten.

* * *

A response from Regulus came promptly. The letter's contents were quite predictable, something along the lines of how glad he was, how all the conditions would be upheld (so no mentioning of the cross-dressing) etc… Remus skimmed through it absent-mindedly and tried to ignore the shiny ring on his finger. It was no use; it glinted and was so bright! In a spur-of-the moment thing, Remus grasped at it with his other hand and tried to pull it off…not that it would budge. He sighed in resignation and sat at his desk, trying to will his heart to stop beating so erratically.

Feeling like he ought to do something, Remus tried to concentrate on writing a confirmation of receiving Regulus's response. He made it through the second sentence before finding his eyes wander towards the glittering band. It was obvious; Sirius thought that branding him with the silver key wasn't enough! Remus bit his lower lip in deep thought, he hated feeling confused and torn between emotions but it seemed for the last couple of days - that is all he had felt.

No…not all he had felt…Remus amended, but what else had he felt? That region was so unfamiliar to Remus that he could not exactly place his finger on it.

Remus forced himself to concentrate, and then it hit him. Rather than spending his time writing some sentimental letter that meant nothing to him, he should put some figures in it so that he would get a job well done. Most people were easily impressed with figures and more so if they were people like Regulus. Remus attached a copy of Sirius's new interest in the investment and sent his owl flying out of his window again.

Some part of him suddenly twinged with heavy guilt and his insides squirmed. Remus ran an irritated hand through his hair…what was wrong with him today? After pacing the study for a little while, Remus knew exactly what he needed to calm himself down.

A visit to the Kiann's gardens. He loved gardens, its green smell, blossoms that dotted his vision with colour…not that the gardens of the Black mansion were like any other ordinary garden. It led down towards the river…and Remus also loved rivers. He had always admired their smooth movements …Remus let himself smile; it was making him feel better already!

Quietly, as not to disturb Sirius, who was sure to be lurking around and Merlin only knew what he would do if he was disturbed while doing something important, Remus treaded down to the bottom floor and was just about to stroll out the main doors when he saw a petite girl, dressed in a peculiar fashion of black and white suddenly dart towards a grand chest on the far side of the room. Her ringlets bobbed dangerously as she opened the chest in haste and dropped herself down into it. She shot a warning look towards Remus and placed a finger up to her lips. With this last, gesture, she brought the lid of the chest over her head with a small thud.

Remus quirked an eyebrow and was about the shrug off the sight he had seen when he heard another person approaching. Sirius entered with thunderous steps, his face stony. He saw Remus standing there and gave him an annoyed glance, "have you seen Natasha?"

Remus shook his head, puzzled. "Who's Natasha?" he asked.

Sirius pursed his lips in a thin line, "The maid," he said sourly, "The silly girl forgot to clean out the guest room! You should see the state of it! Dust everywhere…she better be good at hiding or she will regret ever setting foot in this house!"

Throwing one more displeased gaze around the room, Sirius strolled away just as quickly.

As his footsteps died away, Remus's eyes darted towards the antique chest. Natasha popped out, her face flushed pink. "That was close," she muttered.

Remus tried hard not to laugh, "You didn't clean the guest room?"

She gave Remus a dignified gaze, "As if anyone could, do you know how many rooms are in this bloody house?" she swore more colourfully, "And _he_," she gave a furious jab to where Sirius had left, "never uses more than six of them. What am I meant to do with the other two hundred or so?"

She gave an exaggerated sweep of her arms to emphasise her point and breathed heavily, "If he's so sensitive about the state of rooms, maybe he should hire some more people to do the cleaning? No…it's always me that has to do all the work around here. Sometimes I think it I'd be better off a house-elf. Never understand how his mind works…" she grumbled,

Remus smiled, "Then maybe you should resign?"

Natasha gave an impish grin, "well…the pay here is quite okay…I mean, I know a friend who's working for the Parkinsons?" she gave a whistle, "they don't even give her enough for her to pay for her loan…" she gave a start, as if she had forgotten Remus was there.

She gave a cough, "Now I'm rambling. Natasha Rosewood, nice to meet you." She shook his hand cheerfully.

Remus gave her a bright grin, "I think you could use a coffee break."

Natasha's hazel-green eyes flashed, "Coffee? That sounds great…"

* * *

Remus did not know how they had ended up together in the gardens but Natasha had been quite paranoid about walking into Sirius and Remus had suggested taking a stroll through the gardens because he knew for some strange reason that Sirius never wandered outside in the gardens. Natasha was very talkative, Remus only stood next to her and would nod or make a noise in his throat in response and she was quite happy to go on for hours. She was very short with a pink, round face and ringlets that bobbed every single time she took a step.

Remus felt it slightly refreshing to be in the company of someone who wasn't Sirius, or in that circle for that matter, because suddenly Remus remembered Regulus and Wulberga. Her chatter was also very comforting and he found himself relaxing in her company. Natasha chatted on about Sirius, his tendency to leave his gloves lying around everywhere, how he hated anything dirty or dusty and how he always wanted hard surfaces to sparkle.

Remus, to his annoyance, found the chatter around this point, quite interesting.

"And he hates diverse colours!" Natasha sighed, "I have never met someone as boring! He strictly likes, black, white, emerald green, blue and red. The most basic of colours! He hates pastel, he hates pale, he hates bright…" she scrunched up her nose, "And I should know because I had to order some new curtains for the drawing room and I accidentally chose a gentle peach colour."

Remus found the corners of his lips bending up slightly in a gentle curve. "How long have you been working here?"

Natasha decided to stop walking along the river and sit on the bench at the entrance of a very well cut maze. Remus naturally sat down next to her, "It has been a few years," Natasha admitted slowly, "ever since Master Sirius came of age…"

Remus wondered at the strange note of sadness in her tone, 'When Sirius came of age?' something rang in his head…

…wasn't that when Wulberga and Regulus had to leave the mansion? Something stirred deep within Remus, did the departure of Regulus and Natasha's arrival have any relation with each other? Could she be the sources that Regulus so fondly labelled?

Natasha seemed unaware of the sudden tension that seized Remus at that moment, "About Regulus - " Remus began gently, "Do you -"

"I heard you accepted his offer, congratulations." Natasha interrupted him, "You won't regret it."

Remus started in surprise, "How do you…? What - "

Natasha turned her gaze on him, firm but not unkind, "I'm not going to hide it to you actually. I'm proud of working for Regulus, he deserves it and needs the inheritance more than Sirius."

Remus's eyes were as wide as dinner plates - he had not expected this!

"H-how…do you know what Sirius deserves…?" Remus began difficultly, forcing his mouth to operate.

Natasha's gaze grew amused, "Yeah, you're right. I don't know, but I have no interest in trying to decipher him…unlike you,"

Remus's brain was _now_ starting to function after that sudden, unprecedented crash…trust Natasha to be an unpredictable character, Regulus chose his people well…so she was his _source_; or perhaps she revealed this to him so that he would let his guard down, or maybe even the revelation was a ploy suggested by Regulus? There should be more, there _would _be…

"Remus?" Natasha cocked her head to one side, "…I can call you that can't I?" she asked hesitantly.

Remus smiled, "Sure,"

"Just think of it like this, if you are in doubt." Natasha had taken to just staring ahead, distantly, "Sirius is someone you can't trust. Regulus is. That's what distinguishes them."

Remus cleared his throat, "I…err haven't really met Regulus for long, so I can't judge…so far - "

Natasha giggled, "You seem like such a loyal, diligent type," her face grew tinged with the slightest pink.

Remus found himself cheerful and at ease, Natasha was an easy person to get along with…

"I like that…" Natasha added after a long pause, she turned to look at Remus once more, "I like you Remus," she stated audaciously and unabashed.

Remus's smile was mild and sweet like his disposition, "We better get inside. Sirius might need something."

Natasha made a face, "Yeah, he can't do anything by himself," she stuck her tongue out.

Remus forced his lips to twitch into a smile; he was oddly surprised at how flustered he was about Natasha's poor opinion of Sirius. He had a poor opinion of Sirius too didn't he? Then why did he look so forced and feel so forced?

Remus stood up,

"Oh, by the way…correspond regularly with Regulus if you want to know him better." Natasha stated as an afterthought, "It might make you feel a bit more comfortable about judging him."

Remus knew she was trying to give him helpful advice but he only gave her an indulgent smile, before heading back to the mansion.

* * *

Remus hated being back in the Terrace On The Green, waiting for Regulus. The place had been so intimidating at first when Sirius had taken him there and now, Regulus had proposed in discussing some business with him in the very same location. He took a sip of water and realised that he had developed a habit of tapping his foot when he got impatient.

After growing tired of continuously tapping his foot, Remus was suddenly able to recognise Regulus coming towards him. The boy seemed to be much smaller built than he remembered. In frank truth, the appearance of the boy threw Remus off a little. His lithe frame was hidden under baggy clothes and Remus saw that he was wearing tattered jeans and a big over-sized jumper. He had his hood up and he moved through the restaurant easily, weaving through wizards and witches dressed in immaculate designer robes.

Regulus stopped in front of Remus and his light grey eyes sparkled within the hood. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and threw a bag of galleons onto the table that made a great 'clunk' as it stared up at Remus prudently. It was to secure a welcome visit if Regulus wished to come again but this startled Remus even more as this meant that Regulus did not wish to remain in the restaurant at all.

As predicted, Regulus then grasped Remus by the hand and started to break into a run. Remus was taken by even greater surprise and he was almost literally dragged out of the classy restaurant with many turned heads staring after them. Remus had to sprint to keep up with Regulus, who seemed to have turned around a few corners and was heading into a dark alley.

Perspiration had started to break out and Remus was panting and loosening his collar as Regulus sat himself down on a step outside a pub. Remus sat next to Regulus; he had observed enough human behavioural patterns to know that Regulus dressing in muggle clothes was something out of the norm. And people only went out of the norm if something wasn't in the norm.

"Regulus, what is this really about?" Remus started gently.

Regulus drew his hood and Remus was surprised to find the teenager crying.

"It hurts Remus," Regulus whispered.

Remus was rendered speechless as Regulus stepped down onto the ground, purposefully placing his foot at a weird angle before stepping down and placing full pressure on his ankle. Regulus then staggered and Remus stood up immediately to catch him.

That was when Remus caught sight of Regulus's ankle. It was swelling rapidly and when Remus saw the bare skin, he saw that blood was turning an ugly blue and purple.

"What's going on?" he asked distraught and confused.

Regulus then pulled out a wand and ran it across his ankle so that the swelling stopped and the disgusting colour resided.

"I can't walk now but at least it stopped the pain in my elbow." Regulus rasped.

Remus gazed on horrified, "you replace pain with pain?"

Regulus reached for Remus and moved almost all of his weight onto him. He stepped on the other foot to go into the pub, "I need someone to talk to, Remus." He looped an arm around Remus's shoulder and limped up the steps, "Please Remus?"

Remus nodded to stop Regulus from doing anything unpredictable and harmful, not that what he had just done wasn't, and pleaded,

"Regulus, wait. Before we go inside, what was that just now? Sprained ankles usually don't look that bad."

Regulus's unsettling grey eyes met with Remus's dark hazel, "Internal bleeding." He muttered, "I'm a haemophiliac."

* * *

**Love it? Hate it?** Let me know…

**noeru K**


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**HOHOHOHO, as you can see, I have not just simply DIED. I am very well and living healthily and typing away for your enjoyment and also mine. Well, here is the wedding set in October, with the advice of a dear reviewer - I found it perfectly fitting. I love the weather in October. Please review. -Puppy eyes- I know it doesn't make sense but it shall, it shall! And I have a marvellous plot bunny. HA. Now, off to a very LONG chapter.**

**ENJOY**

* * *

They were going to be married in a castle at Cornwall. Remus was standing in front of a mirror that covered the entire wall and only one thought was running through his head. This is a nightmare…this is a nightmare…this is a nightmare…OW!

Remus was not in a good mood and he growled at an innocent woman who had accidentally stabbed him whilst trying to pin a white flower blossom onto his non-existent bosom. The woman gave hurried apologies with teary eyes and fled, distressed. Such was the power Remus felt thrust upon him as the bride-to-be of Sirius Black. He sensed it, the growing fear and reverence…the subtle changes to people's eyes and gestures.

He had not asked for it and he did not wish it. Promptly, his mind settled once more, fixated on that one thought. This is a nightmare…this is a nightmare…this is a NIGHTMARE!

"You look…beautiful," A girl who had come as the entourage for that wretched Madame Ursaline from the salon had just finished tightening the wedding dress around Remus's shoulder and had stood back to admire him.

If Remus were not feeling at all resentful, he would have appreciated the dress, which Sirius had, gleefully chosen for him. White floral patterns with the elegant shapes of leaves was what the wedding dress was, particularly the straps. With slightly wild, eye catching patterns down the front flare of the skirt, ending in different lengths of delicate scatter of flowers. At the back however the pattern branched outwards so that between the swirling, alternating designs was gauzy material that added to the ethereal atmosphere of the gown.

The train of the gown was designed to be very long and fanning outwards whilst the front lengths of the dress, although different lengths, all stopped a little past her knees.

"Thank you," Remus replied stiffly, staring at himself in the mirror with acute dislike. Even to himself, he hated the look on his face. His usually golden, amber eyes were narrowed into slits and his painted mouth was pursed. His powdered face was frowning back at him and no doubt the girl thought him an insufferable snob. He glanced at her and saw that she had gone back towards the large wardrobes lining the wall and continued to observe his appearance.

Sirius had used a charm to grow Remus's hair rapidly in twenty-four hours time and it naturally curled at the edges. It might have been dangerous for a full-grown man to have his hair coiffed up onto his head, as it would have revealed chiselled jaws and the obvious masculine setting of the face. However, Remus saw that was not the case. His face was not at all like other men and he looked revoltingly like a girl. He usually didn't look like that, he hurriedly reassured himself. It was just the stupid powder and rouge.

Begrudgingly, it was childish but out of pure frustration Remus tried to stamp his feet. He toppled sideways awkwardly and jerkily as a result. The girl, who had taken a moment to admire the veil she had in her hands spun around instantly and hastily propped Remus back up onto his feet. Remus felt his face flush and his anger dissipate to be replaced by hopelessness. What was the use being angry when nobody cared? When nobody knew? Why was he the only one suffering?

This was like Lucius's party but worse, Remus realised quickly. He had been through this turmoil before, except this was amplified a hundred times. He tried to clutch his head but the girl had wordlessly already begun to smooth the creases he had remade because of his fall and was gently examining any damage done to the dainty little slippers made of glass. Remus realised he was making her job hard and he was truly sorry for it. One person suffering on the day was enough, he thought firmly.

"I'm sorry, that was clumsy wasn't it?" He tried to ask lightly and shrilly.

Remus's voice, unused to such pitch squeaked a little but the girl just gazed at Remus with slight relief. "Oh no," she answered breathlessly, "No harm done, I'm just glad you haven't hurt yourself."

Remus smiled…see, that wasn't too bad? The girl gave a tentative smile back. "Congratulations," the girl added.

Remus was taken aback by this simple and obvious statement, "Excuse me?" he asked, too quickly. The girl glanced at him, a little puzzled.

"For marrying the man you love," she elaborated as if it was the obvious thing in the world. "Today is your special day."

Remus found this notion so absurd that he was on the brink of throwing back his head and start howling with laughter. However, it was so that Remus was very adept at controlling himself and he only managed a smile that brought water to his eyes. The laughter being trapped and choking at the back of his throat. That teary smile was quite convincing to the girl, who only gently smiled in complete misunderstanding and she fixed the veil neatly onto Remus's hair.

Remus had to furiously blink away the tears, as it would have successfully ruined his eye makeup, which had taken around three hours to prepare beforehand. A NIGHTMARE! The girl had worked fast-pace and now a small tiara, in the shape of miniature, jewelled icicles with a veil falling down to Remus's elbows was now fixed securely on the top of his radiant hair. In the large, secluded dressing room, the gigantic mirror reflected and doubled everything in the room. Remus saw himself again and again, in a wedding dress with powders, perfumes and rouge on his face complete with the same styled gloves as the wedding gown that stopped at his elbows and large pearl earrings hanging on fine gold chains.

And…in his hands, he clutched…the bouquet of white blossoms. Remus was now truly and primped and polished as Sirius Black's bride. Remus glanced around the spacious dressing room. The other assistants who were starting to pack up beautifying equipment were now filing out of the door. That fat, pompous woman, Madame Ursaline had left earlier for a tea break and now her entourage was also taking a break and to tidy things back in the salon, Remus supposed. He made a terrible mess there when they were doing his nails and taking care of his skin, hair and whatever else, women loved to fuss about. He could have murdered Sirius then and there when he saw Sirius leave sniggering and promising to pick him up after he was done. That man's heart was darker than the darkest black, Remus gritted his teeth.

The girl, who Remus had not even bothered to ask her name was also starting to leave and call it impulse or something else, Remus did not care in the least. He held onto her wrist and pulled the startled girl in a tight hug. Jitters, is what the girl would have thought calmly and she patted Remus on the back comfortably. "It will be great," she asserted great confidence in that area that Remus was once again, at loss for what to think. She pulled out of his embrace and left the room whilst Remus examined himself for the last moment in the large mirror.

Maybe that was what he had needed. Some friendship and comfort and true sincerity that Remus thought wasn't tainted by any other. He exhaled, realising all doubts and dark regrets of despair were banished and a calm, frosting tranquillity decidedly marked his features as he surrendered to his fate.

* * *

Sirius was dressed in a black suit. He did agree with the tailor, it suited his hair. He had a white flower blossom pinned on his chest and he had been in the ancient guard's room, now functioning as a foyer, greeting all the guests, one by one. It was natural to do so and he wasn't at all surprised that none of his direct family members or close relatives was there.

The only positive aspect he could work on was that Lucius was not there. He had extended an invitation of course; it would have been blatantly rude if he had not. Yet Lucius conveniently had business elsewhere and regrettably could not attend. It was obvious Narcissa was the one who did not wish to come and fear was also a factor in which she detested the thought of Sirius's wedding being the finer of the two but Sirius, of course, preferred it this way.

He fidgeted with the white gloves on his hand and looked about. Witches and wizards were milling around, greeting each other and looking important at having been invited. All were stunningly dressed in the best velvets and silk with the latest robe-style. There were tapestries covering the walls, telling tales of love and valour and it was moving as the Black family emblem was temporary displayed alongside it with the Saepens family crest.

After some management of paperwork, the population of the wizarding community, filed into the main hall of the castle. The Tintagel castle of the Arthurian legends possessed a hall that was immense. Its sheer size was to astound, but on the occasion, besides the decoration of gold and blue already existing, there were the white of flowers and sparkling of crystals and ice.

Known for its heritage and beauty as well as professional proceedings of matrimony, the hall was booked out until the next year February, but Sirius had his ways.

The medieval hall was somehow sparkling. An aisle had been made by a rich, red carpet and there were tables on either side of the aisle. Countless tables with immaculate white tablecloths, all with an arrangement of white blossoms heaped on it had various wines, water and cutlery arranged.

The guests seated themselves and craned around the arrangements of white flowers standing tall and proud on either side of the aisle to wait further proceedings. Sirius was at the altar, having stepped on the red carpet to get to it, he suddenly felt slightly tired and weary. A canopy of white silk was hanging high over their heads with flowers magically suspended in the shape of a delicate archway. Petals continuously flooded the floor and Sirius turned towards the strong, intricate oak doors of the entrance.

First he heard the invisible orchestra and piano play the wedding march. Then…there was Remus; head held high, shoulders squared. A quaint smile on his lips as if this was the moment he had dreamed of. He was clutching the arm of an old man Sirius had hired to play out the part but the picture was perfect. Remus was beautiful, he was flawless. How could anybody detect that something was wrong at all? Horribly wrong.

He possessed a unique beauty that Sirius had never countered before. High, regal cheekbones with a nose that was small but slim and straight, the end being ever so slightly turned up. Her large, clear eyes that were not heavily lidded but just slightly accentuated the deep colour of gold that only he possessed in his eyes and it made him shine like a gem. His painted mouth was like a small pink bud, only mild and good-natured and his skin was decidedly paler than any other men and even women for that matter that he knew.

The front of the skirt, which was quite short, showed off his shapely legs, although they weren't long. It had been quite a risk choosing such a dress but Remus looked so delicate and fragile with his narrow shoulders, short stature and slim body that he felt that he had chosen the dress quite well. He also mentally noted, it matched his stature perfectly. As he drew closer however, all he could see were his eyes. Large, vibrant, doleful eyes unblinking behind a curtain of long and fine, dark blonde lashes. He was undoubtedly wearing mascara and the smoky, silvery eye shadow made his bottomless eyes even deeper.

Sirius promptly took Remus's arm from the hired elderly man and led him to the altar. An old, feeble priest recited the vows after a substantial period of time and Sirius didn't hesitate with the 'I do'. It took Remus, however a considerable amount of time to utter those two words. There had been silence as the onlookers wondered in amazement at the prolonged delay.

Sirius, in that period of silence, for the first time of the day felt a short, sharp stab of fear but Remus lifted his chin and 'I do' was issued from his mouth. Sirius had never felt so relieved.

The rings were then exchanged. Sirius had settled for a diamond for it was quite symbolic. He slid the thin white golden band with a single diamond onto Remus's finger. The large glittering diamond nearly covered the width of his digit – Sirius had instead settled for size. Remus swore that his finger felt just as heavy as his heart that was pumping extra hard at the moment he slipped the ring on Sirius's finger.

His band had the white gold rise at one point like two hills and in the valley, lay also a diamond. The ceremony finished without further ado and to Remus, it was all a stressful, surreal blur. He met too many faces in too little time. They cut the mountainous wedding cake that had the figurines cheer when it was cut. They posed for so many photos and he saw many famous witches and wizards, some he had even admired at one stage.

Others were being individually taken aside to be interviewed about their personal comments about the wedding by a reporter from the Daily Prophet. The guests then had appetisers in the hall before moving out towards the throne-room, much more cosier than grand. Sirius seemed more at ease in the throne-room and didn't mind Remus being in the limelight as much. The throne-room had been transformed into a temporary ballroom and the groups all drifted off into the throne-room in the end.

Remus stuck by Sirius faithfully throughout the evening, who did most the talking yet didn't give him at least one comment of gratitude or anything of the like. It would have been difficult to say the he had even acknowledged him! Yes, Remus danced. They were among the first on the floor. Sirius just stared at him with his silver scrutiny until he almost blundered by stepping with the wrong foot. How he wished that the ground would open up to swallow him!

Sirius was too skilled and too agile, Remus was all to glad when they were able to sit down. Sirius's best man, James Potter was flirting heavily with Remus's maid of honour nearby, who was none other than Lily Evans. Remus had been very close friends with Lily at school and yet he had to pretend he did not know her, as she obviously was not to know who he was. Sirius had picked her out for him as it would have 'distracted Jamie,' James Potter was too acute and perspective, Sirius countered. He had asked too much about Marie Saepens for Sirius's comfort, so he had brought Lily as a distraction. It was working more or less; Sirius's strange Gryffindor friend was flirting heavily with the former Gryffindor prefect and Remus felt like he could gag. Then, just as things start to revolve slowly around the wheel of monotony, Lily Evans abruptly approached him. "Marie, could you please come with me?" She gestured.

In a daze, Remus did as he was told. Lily ushered him back into a room, which Remus realised was the dressing room in which he had spent countless hours in before!

"Come on," his former partner prompted excitedly, undoing his hair and stacking away the veil. Truth be told, although Lily had been appointed by Sirius as the maid of honour, there had never been an occasion where they had talked much. Sirius saw to that, as Remus's true identity being exposed would have been a crisis.

"What?" Remus asked clueless.

"You need to get changed for the formal dinner. Ahh…here it is, you can keep the pearl earrings on."

She pulled out a long, fluid icy blue dress. The dress tightened around the waist but flared around her ankles with small sparkles of crystal beads stitched in from the waist down.

Remus obediently changed and was much relieved when he was able to finally shed the glass slippers and just wear normal high heels that were how bad his standards had sunk.

"Argh, now you need a necklace," Lily chided with the feminine talk, "Your neck looks so bare now."

She put away all the clothes and accessories neatly and rummaged in Remus's newly acquired jewellery box. "This is perfect," It was just a strip of dark indigo satin with a snowflake-like pendant glittering on it.

Lily pulled out her wand to fasten it but clicked her tongue softly. "There's still something missing…"

She rummaged once more in the jewellery box and pulled out a tendril of silver and jade. She dabbed it around Remus's blonde curls so that it was hardly noticeable but gave a subtle effect.

"There, that's better."

Remus absent-mindedly played with the white bouquet in his hands.

"You seem a bit…out of it," Lily remarked. Remus sighed, "I just don't see why it has to be…so big," he said hesitantly, watching her reaction carefully.

Lily's face softened, "It is all very grand. But I guess it would be like this as you are marrying Sirius Black. You are very blessed."

Remus's eyes grew larger and more pensive.

There was pregnant silence as Remus continued to wound his slim fingers around the white blossoms clutched in his hand.

"…I'll take those," Lily made the first gesture to disturb the peace as she reached for the bouquet. As she stared at it, her eyes obtained a far-away gleam, "I didn't have an occasion to say before hand but congratulations. Say…do you know James Potter? You would, as he is Sirius's best man. Or you could roughly guess after just seeing his appearance. How would you rate his appearance on a scale of ten?"

"Two," Remus remarked immediately and laughed when he saw Lily's crest-fallen face.

Lily coughed to cover up her embarrassment and when she had Remus's attention, she added with renewed brightness. "Let's go, I bet Sirius would have missed you,"

When they re-entered the ballroom, the people were proceeding to yet another hall.

To the right was the dining hall that had three long, mahogany tables with Parisian chairs all around it. The room was lit more in golden colours of yellow, crème and brass. Remus felt more at ease as he sat at the head of the table with Sirius.

Soon the buzz of chatter reached a climax during the desserts and Remus didn't have to worry so much about his table manners for the guests were much more relaxed. Then Remus and Sirius had to serve the large, white wedding cake in front of them and feed titbits to each other and smile. The toasts were also long and boring and Remus was only able to breathe a sigh of relief as Sirius covered one of his hands with his own.

He relished its warmth, which he swore had been ice-cold during the dance. Although he had been furious with Sirius, any support was immensely appreciated at the time. Remus noted also how little Sirius but found talking about it useless, about anything…at all, everyone was now filing outside to view the gardens in the beautiful spring time and consume some more spirits.

Sirius suddenly grabbed his hand and led him away from the crowd. Lily Evans was the only one who followed. To Remus's amazement, he had Remus's trunk.

"Where are we going?" Remus finally managed, although his head swam with a few many glasses of wine.

"On our honeymoon," Sirius stated matter-of-factly.

Lily handed Sirius Remus's trunk. Sirius saw him staring and shrugged, "I had Daisy pack your things."

The thought of the hideous robes that cost a thousand galleons revisited Remus unpleasantly.

"Where's_your_ things?" he asked, trying to divert the attention.

"Mine was already sent beforehand," Sirius replied calmly, gripping Remus's hand more tightly.

Lily coughed and Remus was suddenly painfully aware of how awkward this must have been for her as she had not even known Marie Saepens but Remus had truly appreciated her being at the wedding.

"Thank you so much," Remus said sincerely.

Lily beamed, "That's nothing. Bye Marie,"

Remus, for the first time that day smiled…bright and truly happy.

"Come on," Sirius pulled him gently away from Lily and grabbed a boot lying nearby.

Suddenly Remus was yanked away from the world he was in and was flying…almost.

He didn't let go of the boot as the world span and altered. Sirius was beside him, looking very calm and at ease.

The spinning subsided and Remus for the first time clearly saw the new environment around himself.

Sirius dusted his suit. "I need to get changed," he said regretfully.

Remus countered him without malice; "You think you have it bad,"

He was, after all, the one in the tight dress.

"It's very quiet…" Remus commented carefully.

"Let's go," Sirius urged, levitating Remus's trunk, "I need some sleep."

* * *

The subject of all Remus's concern strolled out of the bathroom, dressed in his black dressing gown. He had a towel draped over his shoulder and as he sat on the edge of the bed, used it to ruffle his hair in the process of drying it. Something had irked Remus too much for him to have liked it. It had continuously come to bother him and now seemed a great chance to talk to Sirius and come to terms with it. This constant cross-dressing bothered him. It wasn't normal…if Sirius had a _thing_for this…

"Sirius," Remus began. Sirius stopped ruffling his hair and sat at the edge of the bed quietly.

"Am I a girl to you?"

"Is that what you want to be viewed as?" Sirius asked softly.

"No,"

"Then as a boy?"

"No…I - "

But Sirius cut him off, "You'll only be what you wish for me to view you as."

Remus snapped his mouth shut that had been hanging open in mid-air. There was a certain degree of silence, before he opened his mouth again.

"And no, I don't have a fetish and I don't get a kick out of seeing pretty boys cross-dressing as women." Sirius snapped.

"Oh," Remus closed his mouth once more but he decidedly looked more reassured. Remus hesitated just for a little while before voicing what had been on his mind when he had entered the room, "There's only one bed…"

"So?" Sirius mumbled distantly.

Remus coughed, "Umm…where am I going to sleep?"

Sirius flopped down on the bed, his wet hair flopping disorderly all over his face - Remus tried to stop staring. "You can sleep on the floor…or there is a bed outside near the pool."

Remus frowned in thought, yeah…there_had _been something of a bed outside but… "That's a recliner,"

Sirius shrugged and made the sheets rustle, "Whatever,"

Remus glared at him, "Wait, why do I have to sleep on the floor or the recliner? There are mosquitoes outside anyway."

"So?"

"I can't sleep on the recliner," he clipped.

Sirius edged towards him, "So…you want _me _to sleep on the floor or outside instead? I'm tired!"

"Tired?" Remus scoffed, "Excuse me, I don't remember you being the one having to walk in damning glass slippers that pinched your feet and reduced it to a bloody pulp! Those things are dangerous and you knew it when you bought them for me!"

"It was the obvious thing to do at the time," Sirius smirked lazily, "them being in fashion and all?"

Remus stared at him indifferently. Seeing the lack of reaction, Sirius changed tack at the speed of light. He raised his hand to his forehead then flopped back onto the bed, "Ahh my head! It's killing me." He moaned.

"So just take a potion and sleep outside," Remus urged.

Sirius rolled over and hid his face, ignoring him, "It feels like a whomping willow's pounding my head…"

Remus rolled her eyes, "Sirius, I thought you were just _tired_. Go take a potion and sleep on the recliner, okay?"

"I don't have any potions with me," Sirius peeped at him with sorrowful eyes.

Remus let out a roar of frustration. "Okay, that's it. I'm sleeping on the bed with you. Move,"

Sirius made some room but as soon as Remus slipped under the covers did he put his strong arms around him and snuggled against him, "You smell extra good today, Mrs Black," he sniggered.

Remus turned to face him and glared, although disturbed by the fact that they were now so close that their noses bumped.

"If you don't like it," Sirius purred, "Then sleep outside on the recliner,"

Remus seemed to be calculating something, then with a determined look, lunged at Sirius and furiously started kissing him. All sorts of sensations drummed through their bodies and Remus could feel a hum starting in his head as he straddled Sirius and whilst on top of him, worked furiously on his mouth as well as attacking his neck.

Sirius was taken aback and with his powerful arms, pushed Remus back so that they were now both in a sitting position. Sirius's silver eyes were strangely unfocused in puzzlement and Remus smiled impishly, "If you don't like it," he echoed, "Then sleep outside on the recliner."

It took a moment for the words to sink in, but then Sirius smiled like a Cheshire cat, that made Remus's insides squirm and as they passionately interlocked their jaws again, Sirius muttered against his mouth, "Fine, if that's the way you want it." And his hand wandered dangerously down, trailing from the flat of Remus's chest, to his stomach to his…Remus scooted away from Sirius as if scalded by red-hot fire. His face was flushing madly and Sirius only followed him with his eyes.

Remus gathered a blanket or two and whilst continuously sending scathing daggers in Sirius's direction, went outside whilst banging the sliding door really loudly. Sirius smirked and spread his arms and legs across the entire bed, victorious whilst Remus lay on the recliner with the blankets, furiously cursing Sirius. "We come all the way to Phuket and the first thing he does is fight over a stupid bed. How immature," Remus rolled over to his sides, falling asleep to the sound of mosquitoes buzzing around his head.

* * *

When Remus awoke, Sirius was already taking a swim outside. The weather was sunny and hot, Remus realised although the cooling charms in the building was immaculate. He immediately walked out onto the Thai-style terrace facing the main pool and waved at him.

Sirius was immersed in the aqua water but broke through the surface as he caught sight of Remus. He smiled, "Slept well?" he called across. Remus frowned and waited as he swam to the edge. He handed him a towel as he got out, Remus was suddenly painfully aware that he had to learn to keep himself from staring, each time it only made him look foolish and as if he swung that way, which he definitely did not! Then what was he doing here?...good question.

"So…what do you want to do?"

"Let's go into town and go sightseeing." Sirius suggested.

"Wow…the view's really nice from here too," Remus commented as he looked past him. Since Amanpuri was situated above Pansea Beach on the west coast of Phuket Island, the brilliant stretch of blue was seen all around, Remus marvelled at the wonder of the Andaman Sea in that short while.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed as he looked in the direction he was looking.

"I'm just curious but Sirius, why did you decide to come here for the honeymoon. I'm not complaining…just curious,"

Sirius shrugged, "Obvious choice would have been to go to Paris, or somewhere similar but I wanted a different place."

Remus slightly understood, "It's nice."

Sirius took him by the arm, "Come on, let's go out to town. Let's go after breakfast. Just give me a minute to change."

And me too, Remus thought. He still was not very suitably clothed. Yet he did not mind rashly talking to Sirius when he did not look quite suitable. Was the presence of Sirius becoming that comfortable?

* * *

"What's this?"

Remus stared at the broomstick clutched in Sirius's hand.

"It's a broomstick," Sirius replied flatly, hefting it from one hand to the other. "Why?"

Remus looked uneasy and started scuffing the ground with her feet, "Do we have to fly on a broomstick to get to town?"

Sirius stared at him quizzically, "It's the fastest way," he explained, "and the easiest."

Remus glanced at the piece of bewitched wood sheepishly, "I'm not such a good flier," he managed to mumble.

Sirius raised a sceptic eyebrow, "Why?"

Oh, but then Sirius remembered why. Although Remus would have been taught the basics at Hogwarts, because of his condition, it would have been seriously detrimental.

Sirius looked at Remus who hadn't moved an inch from where he was standing and tried to think of other ways to get to town but this was the only way Sirius knew. And to get better, you had to practise. There were no grates in Phuket town so they couldn't take the floo and it was also non-apparatable ground because it was private.

Sirius adopted a mild smile that was usually Remus's trait, "It's really easy, here."

It was obviously one of Remus's weaknesses and Sirius was the last person he had ever wished to expose it to, especially in this way.

Sirius suddenly smiled. "I'll show you."

He unmounted his broomstick and motioned for Remus to mount his. He did, rather reluctantly and shifted awkwardly, not quite knowing what to do with his hands. Sirius slid his arm around his shoulders to direct his hands. "The grip is like this," Remus moved his further up the handle.

"Now, kick off and try to keep your balance." Sirius pushed forwards on the broomstick as Remus kicked off.

"Ohh…wow!" Remus could not help the small outburst as he saw himself up into the air. It brought a rare smile upon Sirius's face and Sirius appreciated Remus's state of speechlessness due to the beauty of being air-borne.

Sirius stared up at him as he hovered in the air, going higher and higher. He smirked from the ground, "You're doing fine…just grip onto the handle tightly."

Remus bit his bottom lip as he tried hard to grip in a relaxed manner but, his knuckles, against his will were literally whiter than paper. "Sirius! I'm somehow slanting to one side! I can't…manoeuvre!"

Sirius smiled, satisfied at having successfully gotten Remus off the ground and lifted off on his own.

That was when he suddenly heard an almost small, inaudible gasp. Sirius's head whipped up just to see Remus's petite frame separate from the broomstick he was riding. And that was all he registered as Sirius urged his broom at top speed to get to that falling figure.

The air whistled around him but he didn't hear any sound as he pressed his body onto the wood to gain more speed. There was only Remus, the ground and the space in between. Years of being a Slytherin Seeker did him well as he managed to swoop under Remus and grasp him with an outstretched arm just as he was about to hit the ground.

Sirius pulled out of the dive with Remus clutched tightly in his arms and even though his face was carefully guarded, he had never felt so relieved in his life. Just for one split second, he had thought that he had let Remus fall, that he had him slip through his outstretched fingers but just like catching a snitch, he had not failed.

It was only a short ride and through the entire time, Sirius noted that Remus was speechless, but perhaps not in awe this time.

The town of Phuket was a very traditional place and it blended in well with the environment, all very green and scenic.

"Remus?" Sirius asked as they landed in town.

Remus was making loops in the air before he came down. In that brief while, he seemed to have mastered flying pretty well. Well, what could Sirius say? He was a natural…

"Remus," he called, receiving no response, he tried again, "Remus!"

"What?" he snapped, finally turning around.

His face was too blank and unemotional to be Remus and Sirius was taken aback. "What's wrong?"

"You just nearly let me die," Remus shouted, "You said that I wouldn't fall…I trusted you…and there were no safety measures whatsoever…am I really someone that doesn't matter dead or alive?"

Sirius was lost for words, to him, the sudden fear that he had lost Remus in that instant had been washed away with self-confidence that he would never let him fall but to Remus…he had never realised how different it would have been. Remorse was an unfamiliar feeling to Sirius but it came to him nonetheless.

"Don't be mad," he said awkwardly.

Remus fixedly glared at Sirius.

"Ahh…I really don't know why I'm here," Remus confessed grudgingly.

Sirius looked uneasy as he took Remus's hand, "Come on…I know what would cheer you up. I'll buy you ice cream."

"Ice cream?" Remus asked angrily.

"Chocolate ice cream,"

* * *

Triple chocolate scoops were the best thing in the world, Remus realised. Sirius was next to him with the same flavour, Remus had recommended it to him as his favourite so Sirius was trying something new from his plain vanilla. Sirius glanced at Remus who had already eaten half of his.

It was the first time in Remus's life where he could do anything out of free will. Whether it was wandering the markets, marvelling at the most unique and interesting things on for sale, or riding Hippogriffs that were leaner and muscular than the ones back in England.

It was also the first time in his life where he had spent money so freely either. But literally that wasn't _him _spending the money but Sirius. It was as if he was truly sorry for almost letting him die, because he bought anything that he commented on, to be packed and sent back to the hotel. Remus was worried at first but Sirius was always quick to reassure him that he would be paying it all off later.

Sirius made sure that the flying on a Hippogriff was a better flying experience for Remus than on a broomstick though, which was reassuring. The ride itself had truly been magnificent, a whole tour of the island on air…with the rhythmic beating of the Hippogriff's large eagle wings and shifting body underneath…added with Sirius behind her, his arms around Remus so that he had constant feeling of security…he truly appreciated it.

After the cruise on a private yacht sipping apple juice and dinner in the restaurant among the coconut palm trees, Remus was disappointed when it was time to leave. He had enjoyed the shops, spa and the restaurants too much, especially with no people and definitely none of the employees working at the hotel questioning his gender.

So, here they were with their luggage sent beforehand and the pair facing the grate with floo powder clutched in their hands. After a few minutes, the newly-weds was engulfed in emerald flames…and was gone, vanished…into thin air.

* * *

**That was long…VERY LONG, and I AM SOOOOO TIRED AND HUNGRY!!!  
**

**You Guys owe me big for the wedding + honey moon chappie. But I guess, you waited a LONG time. I can't really say much can I? hehe.**

**But thanks for reading. PLEASE REVIEW it's like my coffee.**

**Well, thank you**

**LOVE IT? HATE IT? **

**Let me know…**

**Noeru K**


	7. Chapter 7

**Before you read, I have an announcement. Please check out my forum HPS Award. (Harry Potter Slash Award) It is an award for writers and if you would like to be a part of it please check it out and tell your friends about it. Thanks.**

**  
ANGST WARNING!**

**Chapter 7 **

"What are you thinking about?" Sirius asked softly as he saw Remus gaze out into space, the morning mug of coffee warm in his hands.

Remus sighed as Sirius nuzzled him in the neck, "Sirius…is Regulus…ill in any way?"

Sirius's head snapped up and instead slung his arms around Remus's shoulders on either side, "He was always a sickly child." After his breath tickled his hair, he released Remus and straightened up.

Suddenly the question burst from his mouth before Remus could contain himself, "Why do you hate him so much?" It had burned and manifested within Remus after he had spent time with Regulus. He found an insecure child, forced in between a domineering mother and his frightening brother, struggling to find his own path. His _condition_did not help him any further either. Why did Sirius hate him so much?

However, surprisingly, instead of being angered Sirius just picked up the Daily Prophet lazily, "Why is that an interest to you?" he asked dismissively.

Sirius was in a good mood today, Remus noted. "He's…he's your brother," Remus mumbled, "He is an important person to you…"

Sirius made a noise behind the newspaper, "My you are feeling sentimental today Mister Moony."

"Moony?" Remus asked surprised.

"Yeah, Moony." Sirius put the paper down and leaned forwards, "You always stare off into space as if you're mooning over somebody."

Remus made a face, "I hate been connected with the moon." He said disgruntled.

"Which do you prefer, Mrs Black or Mister Moony?"

"Mister Moony," Remus replied automatically.

"Exactly," Sirius smiled.

"Oh," Remus suddenly remembered, "You have been accepted into the Wizengamut…did you see the mail?"

Sirius looked thoughtful, "Already? Hmmm…"

"However, you need to be initiated…before that, they have some work for you to do at home, with another new member of the Wizengamut…"

"Oh, really?" Sirius's grey eyes sparkled attractively and Remus found himself staring.

"Who is this new member of the Wizengamut I am meant to work with?" Sirius asked quietly as his eyes locked with Remus's.

"It did not specify…" Remus trailed off as he saw the stars embedded in Sirius's eyes. Deep, dark yet bright…how could the whole night sky be found in somebody's eyes? "…however, they are expected any time soon to discuss business with you…" Remus found his face very close to Sirius's and his breath came out in puffs, causing Sirius's eyelashes to flicker.

Sirius was the first to break the eye contact, "expected anytime soon?"

"Yes…" Remus spoke absent-mindedly, still a little dazed, "oh…!" he jumped as he realised he had not told Sirius beforehand, "I'm so sorry Sirius, your future partner is due any minute…I was _sure_I left a memo on your desk but I was planning to…"

Sirius silenced Remus by placing a slender finger across his lips; his pale cheeks tinged a light pink. In his hurry, Remus had actually said 'Sirius' and not sir. So naturally and sincerely…

"Don't fret dearest," Sirius teased, "I'm all dressed,"

Remus breathed in relief, yes…there was nothing to panic about when Sirius was concerned. Of course he had everything under control.

"But that means," Sirius flicked his wand and Remus's shirt lengthened into a dress. A few more flicks and he had longer hair and an engorgement charm applied.

Remus sighed, he was so used to the dressing now that he hardly cared except… "Sirius, this makes me look fat," he stated critically. Sirius rolled his eyes, "You look beautiful darling as ever…"

Perfectly in time, there was a hard rapping at the door, amplified by the magic in Kiann Hall. Sirius gave a tight-lipped smile, "Shall we?" he offered Remus an arm, which he took gratefully.

No need to call for house-elves, Sirius just nodded at the door, which opened at its own accord.

"I heard you just got back from your honey-moon." A drawling voice had the effect of a freezing charm on Sirius.

Lucius Malfoy stood between the oak doors with a smirk playing around the corners of his mouth.

Remus took the initiative and tugged Sirius forward, he pasted on a bright smile, "Why, a position in the Wizengamut Mr Malfoy?" he asked politely.

Lucius smiled at her, "Yes, actually. Mere donations to the ministry is not the only part of my vision for the Ministry."

"And Sirius," Lucius's grey eyes were like slate, "you are looking well."

As Sirius did nothing but stare at Lucius, Lucius extended a hand and caught Remus's before bringing it up to his lips, "Mrs Black," he acknowledged, "that would be correct?"

Remus nodded and marvelled at how Lucius was mastering the whole situation to his advantage, "Sirius, you seem a little stunned my friend," he said after a moment's pause, his eyes had never left him.

Sirius seemed to have been doused by cold water. The life returned to his eyes and arranged a flawless smirk, one that could rival Malfoy's. "Yes, I little," he appeared to admit, "I think my wife forgot to enquire when the mail was sent and I was unaware it was you Lucius, do forgive me."

"It is understandable," Lucius replied, bemused.

"Yes," Sirius turned to Remus, "You're trying to get used to it aren't you darling? Becoming Mrs Black…" Sirius made a great show of pulling Remus into his arms and kissing him on the check lightly. Remus glowed a dark pink and Lucius observed with acute interest before staring Sirius down with his steel scrutiny.

Sirius, however, stood his ground and the tension was broken when the doors automatically closed. Lucius was strode towards a cloak-stand and deposited his heavy, velvet cloak.

Sirius seemed to breathe in relief but leaked a weak smile to Remus when Remus squeezed his hand. Remus was the once again the one who led Lucius into the drawing room with Sirius following and conjured up tea for them all.

Lucius gratefully accepted a warm cup and stared around the luscious room nostalgically, "It hasn't changed since I was last in here."

He gazed fondly at the ceiling and settled his gaze once again on Sirius, "ten years ago…"

Remus coughed as Sirius blatantly ignored him and drank his tea. "I plan to have this room redone," Remus interjected delicately, "Not to my personal tastes."

"Of course, naturally." Lucius seemed to be lost in his thoughts before he withdrew a piece of paper from the fold of his robes and set it on the table. He tapped it with his wand and the paper multiplied and ink sprouted on the page and Sirius recognised it as important documents.

"Truthfully, I only came to deliver some paperwork for you to do Sirius," Lucius admitted slowly.

"And Narcissa?" surprisingly, this came from Sirius who was still drinking his tea and appeared not to have spoken.

Lucius was slightly taken aback but smiled fondly, "She's fine," he put on a puzzled expression, "She just wanted me to owl these to you but…" Lucius faltered and brought the cup to his lips.

The silence caused Sirius to look up and stare at Lucius who met his gaze, "…I wanted to see you," he smoothly added, his eyes so much like Sirius's. Remus did not dare breathe a word in that moment as it was filled with so many raw emotions that he felt that he was being strangled. He was also being ignored by both sides but Remus suddenly remembered Lucius's party when Sirius had looked at him with so much disappointment for deserting him. It would not happen again at any cost!

Remus was about to extend his hand to make contact with Sirius and let him know he was there but then Sirius moved his hand and as an act of taking the documents, laid it on top of Lucius's, which was still lying on the stack of documents.

Lucius was the one to immediately withdraw, a soft smile tugging at his lips as Sirius stared at his hand stupefied.

"I better be leaving then. The tea was superb." Lucius stood up, his hand still tingling and Sirius stood up after him a little abruptly.

Remus was about to show Lucius the way out when Sirius suddenly interrupted, "Darling, I think I left Daisy shutting her ears in the kitchen. Could you…?"

Remus's gaze flickered instantly back and forth between Sirius and Lucius but he found he had no choice. Besides, this was not deserting Sirius was it? Sirius was ordering him to leave!

"Sure dearest," Remus headed towards the kitchen with a heavy heart however, Sirius's eyes only fixed on one person and definitely not himself.

What was wrong with him? His face was heating up and his heart was thumping hard. He was feeling anxiety and frustration as well as anger. If he saw Lucius's sleek smile and his shiny white blonde hair again, Remus swore that he could pound that smug face all the way into the ground. What was this called? This feeling that was threatening to take hold of him.

Remus shook his head to clear his mind of these thoughts. He wasn't feeling…jealousy? Ridiculous!

There were separate stairs leading down into the bowels of the Hall where the kitchens were and the house-elves. The space filled with warm scents and filling smells was deserted. And why shouldn't it? House-elves only appeared and were visible when needed. Breakfast had passed and yet it was too early for lunch.

There was no house-elf shutting their ears there either. Remus gritted his teeth and slowly made his way back to the front of the house where he was sure Sirius would now be saying his farewell to Lucius.

The sight in front of him made him halt.

Remus felt something being plunged in his heart and be twisted excruciatingly.

Sirius had his arms around Lucius to hold him back as Lucius had faced the other way. His face was buried into his back and Lucius appeared stunned, his stance showing that he had been walking.

Lucius gently pushed Sirius's arms and broke the embrace before he spun around sharply to grab hold of his shoulders and shake him. "Sirius! Get a hold of yourself!"

Sirius's eyes were still large, still dazed. His eyes were boring into Lucius and yet had a distant gleam to them.

"We had known each other since forever. There were entertaining times and harsh times, however it is all over now." Lucius brought one hand he had held Sirius's shoulders with and brought it to Sirius's face.

"Do you know what this is?" he asked, almost cruelly, "It is a wedding ring. I am married, so are you. The past is the past…"

He turned around, however, his voice seemed to shake with a suppressed emotion and he had to clear his throat to produce a silky tone, "I have to go home to Narcissa. Goodbye."

The doors opened without any human assistance and Lucius was gone. Sirius had taken a step forward voluntarily but then stopped as the doors shut behind the Malfoy. Remus turned around, trying to block out what he had just witnessed. His mind was reeling with unspoken questions and his heart pained him with every time it pumped. As he saw Sirius retreat back into the drawing room, he himself made a get-away…bright light greeted him outside as he tried to escape from the vivid scene replaying in his mind repeatedly. He was going to find Regulus.

-------------

"Black! Sirius Black! Open up!"

Sirius had spent the last few hours with his head in his hands, his eyes unseeing, his ears unhearing until he heard the reverberating knocking continuously against the front doors once again that day.

As if in a dream, he approached the doors and they opened automatically. James Potter stood there with his fist held in mid-air, stilled in mid-knock. "What is going on here?" Potter demanded furiously.

Sirius did not register what was happening so he shook his head to clear himself, "James…why are you here?"

James Potter was the son of the rich, influential Potters; his only flaw was that he had been sorted in the Gryffindor house. However, he was a valued friend of Sirius's and his unexpected visit did not ring any bells in Sirius's head.

"Why did Remus's old landlady say that he now lives here? WHAT IS GOING ON? Isn't this _your_house? Does your wife know?" James was red in the face as he fired the questions. Sirius gazed at James, perplexed before understanding suddenly dawned on his face.

"What is it?" James cried.

"I…we're married."

"WHAT?!" James's eyes nearly popped out of his head.

"Remus and I are married…"

"WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS? AREN'T WE BEST MATES SIRIUS ORION BLACK??? YOU S.O.B, YOU HAVE A WIFE!! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!?!?!"

"Uh James," Sirius tried to correct, "He _is_my wife."

"He's a WOMAN?!" James was so purple in the face that Sirius feared that he would grow unconscious any second.

"_No_James, come inside and calm down for Salazar's sake." Sirius felt his senses return as he grabbed James like old times, threw him inside and felt the doors close once more.

James looked at Sirius with horror, "No? Then you're gay? How come you never told me…I was your best mate…I _thought_I was your best mate…obviously _not…_if I didn't bust in on you, I would have never known…I am a horrible friend, horrible horrible horrible…." James shrank to the ground, clutching his knees to his chest.

Sirius sighed and rolled his eyes, "James," he tried patiently, "The person you saw at my wedding is Remus. Marie Saepens is a fake name. We planned the whole thing…I'm not cheating on my wife, I don't have a wife and there is no relationship like that between Remus and myself…he just happens to masquerade as my wife and I give him everything else he needs. It is a…" Sirius searched for the word, "…A mutual agreement we have."

James stared at Sirius, "Crazy crazy crazy…" he cited.

"I know," Sirius grimaced. He knew…it couldn't last. Just a few more months, after he had the fortune, he could divorce him and everything would end quietly. What should not have happened would be as if it had not…just as it should have been. He would be free…

James suddenly leapt to his feet, "I need to speak with Remus urgently."

"Oh," Sirius realised, it was Remus James had initially looked for anyway.

"I need to confirm this insane idea with him and…" James faltered, "and I need to be there for him just in case you know…today,"

Sirius's attention was suddenly peaked, "What's today?"

James gave him a strange look, "Today is the anniversary of Romulus's death."

Sirius appeared puzzled. "Who's Romulus?"

"Remus's brother…" James raised an eyebrow, "Do you even _know_Remus at all?"

Sirius found him squirm with guilt…he didn't. He had spent so much time with him but it was mostly ruled with lust and plans…all calculations. What had he actually said to Remus to know who he was? Merlin, he had been so selfish…so wrapped up in his own little world. Remus had had a brother who had passed away. Sirius thought about Regulus and felt ashamed that he felt nothing if he imagined him dead. What had he become? Sirius tried to reflect about himself…a monster, worse than a werewolf. How did he become this way? Like the people he had hated most…obsessed with one thing he had vowed he would never be obsessed with, being superior to others.

"Where's Remus?" James asked.

Another realisation hit Sirius, "I…don't know…"

James gave him a semi-disgusted look. "And you're the one married to him…"

Sirius could only avoid James's penetrating gaze.

------------------------

"That's why mother was really protective over me." Regulus spoke softly, everything just a wisp of his breath as he relived his childhood. He shivered and inched closer towards Remus, "When I was younger, there was no spell that could heal or control internal bleeding."

Regulus threw a pebble into the lake. The ripple that started with something so small made large circular ridges on the otherwise smooth water surface. "How I wished I was Sirius!" Regulus laughed humourlessly.

"How Sirius dived and had so much fun on a broom. There was no use telling mother. She wouldn't have understood. There would have been no point in telling her. I just watched and told myself the pain was not worth it, if I was just to sprain myself or hurt myself slightly in any way."

Regulus sighed. Remus watched on with shadowed eyes.

"Mother kept it from everyone else. It came from her side of the family and it was a public disgrace. I would have been ridiculed, considered a weakling. I think she hated me more in a way. He hates me doesn't he? Sirius…" Regulus leaned backwards, "He should have been the favoured son. He was the best in everything, good-looking, charming, intelligent, he learnt fast and was athletic. Because of the inbreeding, it's unusual for a child that perfect to be born in a family like ours…"

Regulus bit his bottom lip, "Mother loved Sirius more. She just never had time because of me. She had to watch everything I did and take care of it so it stayed our secret. She was always near me, so she saw everything first and eliminated it so nobody else say after her."

Remus made a gesture.

"Sirius," Regulus added urgently, "Doesn't know and it is best that it stays that way. He thinks I am a weakling anyway. I'm not a weakling anymore, I can preform the cure myself…I can serve for a greater purpose." There was vain hope in his voice that Remus dare not crush.

Remus hesitated, "When I saw you in school, you hid it very well."

Regulus nodded, "Of course. I had done so all my life, from the closest people. If it hurt, I would not say. If it swelled, I would hide it until I could treat it. When I passed out with the pain, Madame Pomfrey was always near me as well. She knew…but I never let her carry me. I can do that myself. I am not a weakling."

"I had no idea,"

"In a way, you do." Regulus covered Remus's hand with his own as a reassuring gesture, "…being a werewolf would have been a hundred times worse."

Remus's eyes widened and darted towards Regulus in surprise. Regulus smiled, "I noticed." He lifted his eyes skyward, "Actually, it isn't too hard to figure out if you cared."

"and you cared?" Remus asked as a throwaway statement but to his surprise Regulus turned and gazed at him.

"Yes. I did." Regulus gazed back at Remus again, "because you were like me. When you laughed, when you smiled or talked…I saw the pain behind it all. You could not fool me."

Remus felt flattered that Regulus had noticed him in school but also felt an intense feeling that twisted in the pit of his stomach. How could Sirius hate such a brother?

Regulus laughed spine-chillingly, "It hasn't been easy. Not with you or me…I wonder, if I die…would Sirius grieve for me?"

He shook his head slowly, "No." his voice grew so quiet, Remus strained to hear, "If I died, he would probably think that I deserved it…as a weakling…"

Regulus quietly buried his head in Remus's shoulder as if to shy himself away, "I hate being a weakling Remus…but I think I will never be able to be like him…" The breeze rustled the tall grass around them gently, "I'll always be pathetic…to him…."

And he cried.

---------------------------

As Remus entered Kiann Hall with an equally heavy heart as he had left, he saw Sirius and James. James…Remus's eyes widened in recognition. James, who was besotted with Lily. James, who had been in his house during Hogwarts. James, who had been his friend. James, who he had lost touch with. James who always came to visit him during Romulus's anniversary. James, who _knew_about Romulus.

Remus's eyes followed James to Sirius who had been listening intently to James. As soon as they saw Remus enter the eastern study, their heads had turned, both staring at Remus with those looks. Those looks…Remus could only hear the sound of his blood pumping in head and swirling around, seizing his body with a sensation similar to anger and extreme anxiety.

James had told Sirius about Romulus. No…Remus shut his eyes, he had not wanted him to know!

He opened them to see James and Sirius still staring at him with those looks. Don't look at me like that, Remus thought desperately, don't give me those looks! I don't want you to look at me like that! DON'T!!

And he turned on his heels and dashed out of the room. He followed the exact path he had taken to enter the Hall and fled outside. Those eyes filled with sympathy, fear, misunderstanding, judgement, disgust - alien emotions…that isolate, tear and slowly kill a person. That had slowly killed Remus…

Remus did not know which direction he was running but he did not care, as long as he could get away from their stares. The stares that stripped him down, bare…

----------------------

"_Marcus is taking care of it," Remus whispered into the dark night. Somewhere next to him, a fair-headed boy nodded. _

"_Don't worry about a thing, this time tomorrow, we'll have enough money."_

"_Money…" The boy echoed, "Can we have a house?"_

"_Yes, a house…" Remus agreed, "And…food, in cupboards and so much that you can eat as much as you want, whenever you want."_

"_Don't!" the boy muttered, "I'm getting hungry."_

"_And…a bike! You've wanted one of those!" Remus pressed on, trying to get his brother's young mind off the task ahead of them._

"_Remus…?"_

"_Yes, what is it?"_

"_Why do you always leave me at times and never come back?"_

_Remus tousled his hair affectionately, "Because…I told you didn't I? I'm finding a mum and dad for us."_

"_Mum and dad?"_

"_Yeah, Romulus. Do you remember?"_

"_Mum and dad?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Did we have those?"_

_Remus did…a long time ago, but probably not Romulus. "Yes,"_

"_What do they do?"_

"_They are like Marcus and his big friends except they look after us and…you can go to school. You want to go to school don't you Romulus?"_

"_Yeah…"_

"_All the others kids go there. You can make new friends, but not as big as Marcus."_

_Romulus wore a wide grin on his face, although his lips were blue from the chill, "I want a mum and dad."_

"_Well, I never saw dad." Remus slowly admitted, "Mum said he had left because she said she could so something…"_

_This was Romulus's favourite fairy tale and he eagerly leaned in as he asked, "Do what?" _

"_Magic," Remus breathed._

"_Magic," Romulus repeated, his eyes alight with imagination. _

"_Magic that brings us money," Remus added, his own imagination taking hold._

"_Magic," Romulus suddenly clapped his hands, "You can do magic Remus."_

_Remus was slightly disturbed by this turn of the conversation. How did Romulus know that sometimes some things happened without him knowing? Accidents, incredible, impossible things when he was angry or frightened…and then there was __**that**__too. Remus shuddered._

"_Because when Marcus tried to hit me, his hand blew up all round like a balloon. I saw you do it Remus."_

"_You were being naughty Romulus," Remus reprimanded, "I told you not to talk to Marcus when he is drinking."_

_Romulus meekly hung his head. _

_-----_

_The alarm went off shrilly and Marcus and the others had slunk away with the furniture and valuables. Remus and Romulus, who had been the decoys were being cornered and screams and noises chased them claiming armed robbery. Remus had pulled Romulus to slide and hide behind a bush as he caused the front of a police car to explode. The policeman who was about to get out of the car and search the grounds was sent flying, his head hitting the ground with a nasty crack when he landed. _

_-----_

_It was the time of the full moon. As Marcus had always done, he was to lock him in the cellar. Romulus would then be in Marcus's care as Remus morphed. Unexpectedly, Marcus had never told anyone about Remus's condition. Remus knew he was different. He was not normal…he could make things happen; he turned into a wolf every full moon. _

_He was tired and had a bleeding cut above his head. The morph was terrible. Remus then knew why his mother must have left him. He wished he could leave himself. _

_Marcus then outlined Remus's next task. To be in a freak show. It would bring money, he said._

_Money, Remus smiled. For a house, food…mum and daddy…for Romulus._

_Marcus forgot to lock the cellar properly._

_------_

"_Remus! I found you!" Romulus swung himself into the cellar. He hated it when his brother left him for long periods of time. It was time he was used to it but he just could not get used to it. He just wanted to visit…he swore that was all._

_A wolf crept out from the darkest corner of the cellar, its eyes milky and unseeing. _

"_Remus?" Romulus started backing away slowly but the wolf had smelt him. Slowly it paced around the boy, cutting off his retreat as he drove him deeper into the cellar and away from the exit. He was fresh meat; it had been an eternity since he had tasted blood that had not been its own. _

_The wolf drooled at the smell. It could almost taste the metallic tang in his mouth. The wolf growled with lust. Blood lust. _

_Its teeth were razor sharp and menacing. Brown fur that had sprouted from human skin made the beast camouflage with the dark. Romulus kept his eyes fixed on the wolf's eyes to know where it was. _

_Pacing slowly…waiting for the boy to make one false move. Just one, and it would leap for the throat. _

_The wolf could not contain it for long, however. The boy seemed to have been immobilised by fear. No matter, it crouched on its hind legs to spring. Claws extended and crudely sharp, its teeth bared and saliva dripping. _

_Romulus saw the wolf move a little more to the left than before. This left the exit in clear view. Without a second thought he bolted towards where the light filtered through. _

_The beast met the boy halfway in the air. The powerful jaws clamped over Romulus's thin neck, the fangs cutting off the vital cords. The boy was dead in an instant. The wolf landed skilfully and satisfied. Blood was pouring from the fatal wounds, over the mouth of the wolf and onto the floor. Romulus was hanging limp like a rag doll, held by the neck. It savagely tore away from the neck, exposing white bone, starkly contrasting from the torrent of blood and tendons of the neck. Claws dug into the body as the wolf feasted._

_--------_

Remus saw the body of his mangled brother. His body was weak and exhausted, he hardly had energy to lift his head - he had collapsed. One look and he had vomited, spit and bile bursting from his mouth as he felt a plague take a grip of him and his stomach refuse to settle.

-------

Beads of perspiration were forming on Sirius's brow as he ran after Remus. The man sure did run fast with such a slightly body, Sirius cursed. Why did he take off? What happened? Did he do something wrong? Countless questions ran through his head. However, there was something wrong with Remus. Remus that he could count on. Reliable Remus…Remus he had treated so selfishly…where was he?

Sirius realised he had entered the gardens of the sprawling grounds. Remus had loved the river…Sirius, without a second thought had turned on his heels and was on his way, walking along the bank of the river. He had his sleeves rolled up and his collar loosened. He felt the hotness rush to his head as he continued running, the breaths coming out in ragged pants.

There! Sirius spotted a small figure collapsed on the ground just a little bit ahead of him. Sick with worry, he sprinted towards the small dot. When he neared him, Sirius was shocked by what he saw. Remus had vomited and had collapsed - except the torso of his body had fallen in the river and the rest was following suit. Sirius waded in the water to quickly carry him out. His arms supported the back of Remus's knees and his upper back as Sirius emerged from the river, drenched up to his elbows. Water dripped continuously from both him and Remus.

Anxiously, Sirius peered at Remus's face, which was a white as paper. The water pasted his hair onto his face and yet he looked like he had cried with water droplets clinging onto his eyelashes and continuously dripping and sliding down the high contours of his cheeks.

"Remus…" Sirius tried; despair gripping his chest, "Are you okay?"

Sirius took out his wand with one hand and pressed it to Remus's temple. Remus's eyes fluttered open with a laborious breath and an overjoyed grin broke out over Sirius's face, despite his iron control.

"You're alright?"

Remus's eyes however was unfocused, "I'm sorry!" he wailed.

"It's okay, I'm here." Sirius touched Remus's pale cheek.

"Anybody…help me…he's dead…" Remus muttered to himself, he inhaled oxygen with great effort and then Sirius nearly dropped him as Remus rolled onto his side. Sirius however, reacted quickly and put him on the ground so that Remus could turn over and cough out the water.

After fitful coughing, Remus turned his head around to see Sirius. Remus's hands were flat on the ground, his elbow also touching the ground and his head twisted around to see Sirius patting him on the back.

"Sirius?" he rasped.

"I'm here."

"I…I…"

"Shh, it's okay." Sirius soothed, "I'm sorry."

Remus seemed puzzled, "No…" Remus turned onto his back and closed his eyes although his mouth was still opened, taking in raking breaths.

As his breathing steadied, Remus's body seemed to still.

"It's okay," Sirius continued, distressed that he could do nothing to help. He tried to hold his hand.

"I...love you,"

Sirius's gaze flickered to Remus's mouth in shock to confirm whether they had been spoken but Remus had drifted off to unconsciousness again.

-----------

Natasha was watching two men from the rose garden. They were near the riverbank; one was lying on the ground while the other was crouched next to him. The dark-haired man was holding onto the hand of the other…

"Sirius loves him…" she muttered to herself. She turned around as if the sight pained her.

"Regulus, you and I have lost…"

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James watched as his best friend took off after Remus without even a split milli-second thought. James knew what it was, the full moon was approaching and at this time Remus tended to be plagued with his past…

James really did feel sorry for the both of them. Sirius, as he had entangled himself in a complex web of lies and Remus, for having chosen Sirius.

"Sirius, you're going to be very lonely when the full moon approaches…"

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"Snape? Are you sure about this?" Clara's eyes glistened like hard stones in the firelight.

"Positive ma'am."

"How delectable," Clara licked her lips, "Who would have thought, he would have the nerve! Impersonate Marie Saepens and Clemens Breton. Remus Lupin…a criminal."

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Please, any feedback on my stories is greatly appreciated.

**Noeru K**


	8. Chapter 8

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**ENJOY!**

Chapter 8 

Sirius found himself staying by Remus's side through the entire night. At one stage, his eyelids grew so heavy that he could not help himself as he fell face forward onto Remus's blanketed stomach to slip into a fitful dream. His iron will, however, made his jerk head upward after specific periods of time and wake. He did not wish to sleep at all. Sirius had not realised the hardest battle of them all - fighting against unconsciousness. And amidst that, he reminisced soothing stroking of his long hair, which he must have dreamed.

When dawn approached and glorious red and orange spilt into the room, Sirius knew that it was time for him to leave. He treaded softly, before heading towards the showers to soothe away the ache in his bones and the dust of sleep off his eyes. As the water pounded on him in a steady beat, he felt his muscles relax and relish the way they poured onto his face continuously…consistently. What had happened? Sirius sighed internally and massaged herbal oil into his hair as he felt like hitting his head on the glass walls of the shower cage.

He knew only all too well. The fool had fallen in love…with him. Sirius reached for the bath gel and grimaced as his eyes started to sting. Stupid……Hot tears, disguised with the hot shower water started to slide down his cheeks. Sirius gazed upwards at the spotless white, steamed ceiling and smiled humourlessly. He had never thought he would be able to, after all the years. He had never thought it was possible for anything to make him feel so alive. It had taken him a long time to realise, but he had wished for it all along and now it was available to him, he could not accept.

His lithe hand reached for the knob and turned it off. The spray of water was immediately halted and Sirius's lean frame stepped out of the showers, water gliding down his wiry body to pool on the floor. He reached for a towel and started to dry himself. That was exactly the moment he heard Banot's stricken voice outside the spacious bathroom's door. "Master Black," the ghost stressed from across the other side of the wooden barrier.

Sirius, hastily got dressed, his hair still mussed and face flushed from the heated water. "Don't float through," he warned firmly before he was appropriately clothed. The ghost's translucent form appeared through the solid barrier before it nodded its ancient head. "Master Black, please excuse me for the intrusion but I thought you should see this." Banot gestured to thin air beside him and a house-elf appeared with a loud whip-lashing crack. The grubby house-elf held the newest printed version of the Daily Prophet in his hands and he snivelled as he handed it to Sirius.

With apprehension, Sirius took the still warm paper and unrolled it. The head covers blared '**Mr Breton's Big Bad Blooper**'. Sirius felt sick in the stomach as he recognised the name and did not have the heart to read all the vicious detail surely to be written if by the Rita Skeeter woman. However, he skimmed it determined, and caught words such as 'impersonator', 'werewolf', 'scam' and 'Remus Lupin' caught in one sentence. The article presented Remus Lupin as a criminal, an impoverished werewolf scamming the ministry whilst taking Polyjuice Potion, 'for what ulterior motive, Ms Smith and Mr Mallory, who wishes to remain anonymous were not able to disclose.' the article stated. 'However, with this disturbing information uncovered, a full enquiry into Mr Remus J Lupin and the now apparent Mr Breton incident would be expected.'

Sirius crushed the paper in his hand and gritted his teeth. He brushed past the ghost and the house-elf who was gazing at him solemnly. "Master?" Banot inquired quietly. Sirius felt anger blazing within the depth of his soul. Why was it always Remus who received the short end of the stick and was always at the receiving end of the attacks? Sirius halted for a minute as he muttered, "For damage control. Banot, when Remus wakes up, keep this from him and don't mention anything about where I am going. Don't worry, I'll take care of it."

"Yes, Master Black," Banot obliged and Sirius stormed out of the room, the harsh, stinging words of the Daily Prophet still ringing in his ears.

----------

Remus woke up, slightly dizzy and disorientated. It was actually very strange, Remus had fumbled with his hands over the bed sheets, groping for something…and then he realised, Sirius wasn't there. Remus's head had shot up from the pillow when his mind had still been a little hazy but when he rested it back on the pillow, cold, clear consciousness took a hold of him and Remus started remembering.

Remus sighed, what was it that nagged at the back of his mind? Something that truly bothered him…and Sirius wasn't here. Remus turned his head listlessly to the side. Oh yeah…_I love you_…there you go, stupid…stupid…Remus cursed himself mentally fluently, letting the colourful words chase each other in his head. Why had they slipped and at the most inconvenient time as well. Honestly…did he really mean what he said anyway? 

Remus propped himself up in a sitting position. Who was he kidding? Of course he did. He had also known it was true the moment he had seen Sirius. Many would say that is cliché or absurd but Remus had. He had not recognised it but now that he had put his finger on it, it was so obvious…so simple…and now, he had faced it. At the wrong moment, with the wrong words…Remus exhaled slowly. And Sirius wasn't there…

Then Remus blearily spotted something on the floor. Examining it carefully, he saw that it was the Daily Prophet. Remus, out of curiosity, reached out with his hand and grasped the little paper heap and brought it to his face. "**Mr Breton's Big Bad Blooper**" Remus's eyes hardened in hurt and betrayal, "Regulus," he murmured, a little shocked.

----------------

Okay…so Sirius wasn't exactly having much luck. He had bullied Rita Skeeter, threatened her and when everything else failed, even bribed her…but she just rebutted in a pathetic way that she would report him and Sirius did not end up finding out who was Ms Smith and Mr Mallory but he had a small, twisted satisfaction of scaring that glittery, superficial woman.

When Sirius entered Kiann Hall, the sight that greeted him was the ghost Banot wildly flailing his fist at Kreacher, the house-elf that had been snivelling before in the early morning. The house-elf was looking absolutely terrified and when he saw Sirius approach them, fell onto the floor in a noisy, wailing heap.

"What's going on?" Sirius asked, a little annoyed. Banot looked slightly ashamed and looked at Sirius apologetically. "It's the house-elf sir," he answered gruffly, "After I told him to take care of the paper, he went ahead and _accidentally _dropped it in Mr Lupin's room." Banot could not physically hurt the house-elf as he was a ghost but the creature seemed to be over-reacting somehow. Sirius narrowed his eyes, "You…what?" he was never going to hit the house-elf but he raised his foot as if to kick him and that was when the creature sprang to its feet.

"Master is a filthy blood-traitor!" it suddenly yelled. It's snivelling façade melted away and a mean, thin-faced house-elf stood its ground, it's nose pointing into the air. "Just as I thought," Sirius stated, unsurprised. "Kreacher..It has been a while," Sirius recognised the house-elf to be one of his mother's personal favourites but as he detested his mother, he had never seen much of the house-elf. So this was where he was at…Sirius shrugged dismissively, "Kreacher, I order you to go to 12 Grimmauld place and never come back."

Kreacher spat before Sirius's feet, "Master was always an ungrateful swine who broke his mother's heart!" and with a last scathing dagger thrown at him, disappeared with a loud crack. Banot sighed in disbelief, "I sincerely apologise for that, master. I'll have that cleaned up right away." Sirius just nodded absent-mindedly. "Is Remus awake?" he asked eagerly. Banot gave a confirmation, "but he did not want to be disturbed…" he trailed off.

Sirius fixed Banot under his hard, grey scrutiny before he nodded slowly, "I see…" Sirius had his own work to do anyway, he knew he had to pay an exorbitant sum to keep the article as low-key as possible and convince the ministry, they did not need to look into anything that Rita Skeeter wrote anyway. Yes, Sirius had his own work to do.

----------

Remus had his head in the fire and he had almost swallowed a mouthful of soot. However, he was angry, betrayed, wounded and he was not going to back down in this! An impostor…an impoverished werewolf…what did being a werewolf have anything to do with this? The whole thing hadn't even been exactly his idea. It had been Sirius's, but that wasn't even the point. Regulus had said that their contract terminated if any of this leaked out and Regulus was the only one who knew about all the false names. He was so sick of being used damn it!

Regulus had been sitting at his desk, glasses slightly askew and ink smudges along his arms and face when he spotted Remus's face in his fireplace. "Remus!" he greeted breathlessly, his face beaming. "How are you?" he promptly got up from his seat and bended down on his knees to face Remus at the same level. Remus's eyes, especially in the firelight were hard and glistening with something edgy and suppressed.

"Regulus, I'll get to the point." Remus quipped, "Did you glimpse the Daily Prophet by any chance today?" Regulus looked a little confused, "No…I don't think I had the chance to - " Remus cut him off quickly, "Well, it seems that there has been sources that disclosed to Rita Skeeta the difficult situations I was placed in and now she is seeking a full enquiry from the ministry into myself whilst launching a savage attack on my character." Remus hardly gave himself a second to take a breath, he was very angry and this wasn't fair. One thing after another, why was it so difficult? Always…for him? 

"I…had no ide-"

"Well," Remus interjected tartly, "As our contract stated, any information leaks result in an immediate termination, so I will be needing the money in my bank account in two days time. Bye Regulus."

"W-wait," Regulus started a little panicked, "Why would I do that to you…Remus, Remus? What about what we've -" but when Regulus took the time to see properly ahead of him, Remus's head had disappeared from the flames.

----------

Sirius strolled into the eastern study just as Remus pulled his head out. Soot clung to Remus's cheek and hair and he looked positively dishevelled. Sirius had also left in a rush in the morning and had only ruffled his hair, so it was left to dry in such a mussed state. Both stared at each other intently before Remus got up from a bent position. "Sirius, I…" he gulped, "We…need to talk," Well, that wasn't awkward, to say the least, Remus thought sarcastically to himself.

"Sure," Sirius smirked, "Shoot."

"I…uh," Remus played nervously with his hands, jeez…Sirius wasn't making this any easier, "About what I said yesterday…"

"Hmmm?" Sirius asked disinterestedly, "What did you say yesterday? Oh, was it important? Sorry…" he gave him a sheepish smile.

Remus coloured a little, "D-don't you have anything to say at all?"

"About…what?"

Hotness started to sweep into Remus's head like a tidal wave. It was an unfamiliar sensation but no one was to forget, Remus right now, was in a stressful position. "How about the fact that your employee, ex-schoolmate, werewolf and right now official impostor conning you have confessed his undying love for you?!" Remus asked disbelieving.

Sirius loosened his collar, "Oh…so you really did read the prophet then."

Remus's chest was heaving up and down from the force with which he had delivered his last statement. He took a moment to understand what Sirius had said then at the same time, in unison, the two men uttered, "It's alright, I took care of it." After this was said in sync, both stared at each other automatically again. Remus opened his mouth in surprise to ask Sirius what he meant but seemed to think better of it and closed it. Sirius also seemed to be thinking along the same lines but shrugged and started to whip out his wand to produce two crystal goblets.

"Undying love?" Sirius chuckled as he also conjured a bottle of gin, "I just remember three words. Three…impossible words,"

Remus was at the brink of accepting a glass of gin when his eyes pivoted back to Sirius, "P-pardon?" he asked, "What…? I thought you said…"

"That's what I said," Sirius interrupted him smoothly, "I gave you a chance to forget it if you didn't mean it."

"I…don't understand," Remus mumbled as took a gulp.

"I just…needed to know, if it wasn't a mistake." Sirius admitted slowly. He swirled his own gin around before taking a swig.

"Well, now you know…" Remus felt himself choking on the liquid; his heart was beating faster than it had ever been even under an adrenalin drive. What would Sirius say?

"Why do you…?" Sirius asked quietly. "Why do you love me?" his grey eyes sparkled with something like sorrow.

Taken aback Remus bit his bottom lip, "Well…it's the simple things. For being you…the first time I met you, the time I spent with you…You're special and I just love you. With all my being and with all my soul. I think…I've never be free of you and…I never want to be," Remus closed his eyes, this was it…he had said everything. It was up to Sirius now. For Sirius to reject him and freak out and confront him about being gay.

"I don't understand…I thought you hated me?"

Remus opened his eyes, how could Sirius be so difficult? "Don't you get it?" he asked exasperated, "I'm in love with you. Completely, fucking blinded with you. I have been all this time! My life was you. I gave up everything for you and I was willing to. My pride, my fate, my life, my consciousness…they were all yours and now I know what that's called. Love. Even though you are never there when I wake up, never there to hold me or tell me everything's going to be alright…even though you hurt me and probably hate me…even though you love to see me squirm and probably don't deserve me…even though you're a heartless bastard who only cares about one thing…even though you love intruding in my private life and revoking my nightmares…even though I'm a murderer and a cross-dresser…even though you are ready to go back to Lucius and leave me…I – mmphf!"

It was the most heavenly experiences Remus had ever had. He thought god could strike him with lightening right now and he would die happy. Because this was all he needed – Sirius. There was no pain, no calculations. As they connected, sensual pleasure invaded his mind, Sirius worked expertly, working with his lip and the dark caverns of his mouth. Never had he ever been so gentle, so considerate. With each buff and caress, Remus could feel the glow and the passion beneath it. The warming, tingling feeling that started to flood his senses…Remus could not help but release a pleased sigh against Sirius's mouth.

Sirius pulled apart slightly to hold Remus and gaze into his gold-flecked amber eyes, "Thank god, I though you would have never shut up."

Remus captured Sirius in his own, intimate embrace and leaned his head on his shoulder, "Never let me do that again,"

As Sirius leaned in for another kiss, Remus pulled back. "But I haven't heard something from you Sirius."

"Hmm? What is there to say?"

Remus grew indignant, "I go into a monologue rant and you - "

"I love you,"

"What?!"

"I love you. See? I said it _twice_…"

Remus slumped a little visibly, "oh,"

Sirius stooped to nibble on Remus's bottom lip as Remus sighed again softly; "I love you…with all my heart and being and I never thought I could say this again but Remus…I belong to you."

And their lips met again in a kiss.

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**haha…hehehe…hahha…hehehe…hehehe…review!!! runs away noeru K.**


	9. Chapter 9

**This story is now coming to a close. I am so proud that I am finishing something. I would like to thank all who read AND review. In here, there are themes that are not for people who hate angst. Well, you shouldn't be here if you hate angst because this is labelled ANGST ANGST ANGST!**

**I do not own anything except the plot and Clara, Natasha etc..**

**---------------**

**Chapter 9**

Sirius was deliriously happy. As blissfully happy as the situation allowed him, which was not the best situation. It was the time of the full moon and Remus had taken leave. Back to his own, empty room and the cellar underneath it that the mean landlady charged double in exchange for keeping quiet. Well, it wasn't before Sirius clung onto him and started vowing that he would do whatever in his power to produce a successful Wolsbane potion.

In all truth, Sirius Black did not care about work or anything else. He wanted to go with Remus and be with him when he transformed but then he saw the shock and horror in Remus's face when he said it.

"I want to go with you," he had said, "It would kill me," he had elaborated as Remus backed away from him, "To have to wait, not knowing what was happening to you at the very moment and that I wasn't there." He had paused, "I hate it when I feel so helpless."

Remus had been so firm though; he had shaken his head calmly and had attempted to smile. "I've done this my whole life, trust me Sirius."

Sirius did. Oh, he did. He trusted that Remus would bear the pain, live the nightmare and keep silent. He knew he would never complain or cry and come to him. That was what he was afraid of.

"Please, at least let me take you there." Sirius had tried but then Remus had started trembling with anger. He had tried to stalk past Sirius but Sirius had grabbed his arm, in confusion and in surprise.

"Remus, I didn't mean to - " he had begun hastily but Remus had hugged him. Or the more accurate picture would be his frame being thrown wildly into Sirius to knock the wind out of him. Sirius did not stagger but nearly fell on the floor as Remus buried his head in Sirius's shoulder.

"Don't make it harder than it is, Sirius." He had whispered, his arms holding on tight. "I don't want to lose someone I love again to myself. Don't ask me to consider that."

Sirius knew that Remus was on the verge of tears. He wanted to tell him that he was free to cry on his shoulder and let go of the pent up emotional wreck inside of him but stayed silent. He was indeed making this harder for Remus and he felt slightly ashamed and he knew too well of Remus's fear. How he had woken up to see that he was his brother's murderer. He did not want to put Remus through that fear again. It was just that…no, Sirius thought decidedly, he would bear with it. Even if it killed him, Remus would be suffering more than him, he always had and he always would so he would bear it. If Remus could, he could.

So Sirius had seen him leave the gigantic oak doors with a small, brave smile on his face. Sirius wanted to cry but instead he laughed. Laughed at how pathetic he was. How he was so powerless but then had retreated to his study to distract himself. In there, he started to unfold the happy memories with Remus one by one, to block out the present. And surprisingly it worked. He was able to smile wistfully to himself as he remembered first seeing Remus, first being intrigued by him, how much he had grown to love him. It had been so fast but so subtle.

Sirius let himself be blissful for one moment before he remembered what this was. A lie. Remus was parading around as his wife under an alias. The unstable situation brought Sirius painfully back to the ground as he remembered how Remus had made it in the Daily Prophet. Someone knew their secret. And worse, were prepared to disclose it. Sirius ground his teeth, what was the extent that they knew? Remus could not deal another shattering blow.

He paced his room once or twice, and then there was that as well. When he had told Remus he had taken care of the Daily Prophet, he remembered him saying the exact thing to him. What did Remus mean? Did Remus know someone that potentially knew of their arrangement? How? And also, more pressingly why? Remus had been sworn to silence. Sirius sat down and started to draw on a scrap of parchment, it was strange but he knew he started to think quietly and was able to focus when he was scratching away.

Before he knew it Sirius was starting to etch a wolf. He elaborated on it, concentrating on its frightening eyes and its rippling muscles. Was this all somehow related to how his business outside the ministry was failing? He had a long way if he was to fulfil that condition to become the top three wealthy wizarding family as all his ventures had already been established by other important figures. Sirius was deep in concentration and with a last flourish had finished the wolf, it's teeth bared in a snarl.

"Sirius," A high voice punctured his deep thoughts and Sirius's head snapped up from his piece of parchment to a woman that did not look any different from what he had been drawing. Clara Henning licked her lips and displayed all her white teeth that were not different from the animal's snarl on the ink-stained parchment.

"Clara!" Sirius exclaimed in surprise, he looked wildly around. "What are you doing here?"

"Banot let me in of course," she answered aloofly, "What else? Honestly Sirius, I _broke _into your house." She gave a tinkling laugh.

Sirius's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "I will not ask again Clara. I have no time for jokes. I am very busy at the moment and in no position to take guests."

Clara looked down Sirius's desk, "Yes, you do appear very busy." She replied sarcastically, "Doodling,"

Sirius crumpled the piece of paper, "I am not going to repeat it." He answered firmly to her banter, "If you have no other business, please leave."

Clara pierced him with her determinedly set eyes, "My, we are into business aren't we? Well, then I guess I can enlighten you." She placed herself daintily on his desk and crossed her legs, "So interested in business but failing in the markets dear Sirius? My, I am surprised."

"What do you mean?" Sirius's interests were suddenly piqued.

"Such a precise man such as yourself with past successes, but continually gradually dwindling in your ventures. Really, now Sirius. You better fire your _Mr Breton _whom you have entrusted your business to."

"Mr Breton," Sirius repeated, his jaws clenched. He now knew and he felt anger pulsing in his vein, "And I suppose you felt it necessary to inform the Daily Prophet about my personal decisions I took in relation to Mr Breton and myself?"

Clara dropped her sugary tone and suddenly looked fierce, "Your personal decisions? Don't act like you don't know Sirius Black, you _knew _he was Remus Lupin and you employed him. Why?"

Sirius felt his mouth go dry, he could not tell her…that it was because about his matrimonial complications.

Clara laughed, "It was because he was impersonating your wife. The _lovely _Marie Saepens had died long ago in infantry. From France wasn't it?" Clara looked lethal as she bore down on Sirius, "How scandalous. The world's renowned bachelor asking a poor, street rat to pose as his wife. What rumours!" she clasped a hand to her mouth, "I wonder what favours he had to preform for you Mr Black. And what are your intentions towards him? What does this elaborate scheme mean to the wizarding population?"

Sirius abruptly stood up but Clara only sneered, "So many rumours. The Daily Prophet would have a field day,"

Without realising, Sirius had drawn his wand. "You will _not _tell the Daily Prophet anything or anyone for that matter." He said so coldly that the smile on Clara's face momentarily froze.

"Are you threatening me?" she asked, after a pause, her tone taunting.

Sirius realised how ridiculous the situation was, he was powerless once more. He could not threaten Clara Henning. He could do nothing towards her, nothing in his power and she had known when she had pounced. Sirius lowered his wand as Clara watched him carefully, her tone slightly hardening.

"Now before you start defending that werewolf, listen to me." Clara said darkly, advancing on him, "Your failing business, the Black family will…who knows about all this?"

There was a hitch in Sirius's breath as Clara placed a hand on his chest, "It's Remus Lupin. He had been leaking information to Regulus from very early on. They met a few times and Regulus made sure you would fail. But poor Sirius, you never knew did you? That scum had betrayed you."

This was too much for Sirius; he felt a sudden headache as if a tonne of bricks had fallen onto his head. "When?" he rasped, too shocked to utter anything else. He had been with Remus the entire time, when had they been able to communicate? How could this have happened? He had completely and utterly trusted Remus, without meaning to. What a fool, Remus had wanted to ruin him. Maybe it had been his objective all along, to ruin him. He had been blind, not getting anywhere, blinded by Remus and his overtures of love…which had now been proved to be lies. Or not matter at all. Sirius's worlds suddenly turned upside down. He brought a hand to his head, was this all a ploy to get him off track? Because of the will…with Regulus? What was his relationship with Regulus? Betrayal, hurt, shock, jealousy and doubt settled in Sirius's mind as Clara smiled.

"At your father's funeral," Clara murmured.

"How do you know all this?" Sirius asked Clara, eyes narrowed.

"Unlike pitiful Regulus who hires stupid people like your Lupin, I have Severus Snape. A highly capable employee." She gave him a wink, "He did it freely as well, it's costing me nothing."

Sirius suddenly wanted to escape her clutches, he needed to think. What had all this time been? Remus had been purposely trying to pull him down? Did he have ulterior motives? Sirius thought carefully, then he realised. He knew nothing about that man. What he was thinking. Like a blank slate. Sirius had given so much to him but it felt as though he had received nothing in return. All just talk, breaths of air. That man's body was so detached to his heart; Remus never knew when he wanted to cry, when he truly loved. At first, he thought he could trust him to that but now he knew he couldn't. Remus had been a stranger, and had made him blind. Exploited his weaknesses, made him helpless, blind…

Clara, sensing Sirius's vulnerability pounced, "I can help you get rid of this," Clara suddenly inserted, confidence radiating from every pore of her body.

Sirius raised his head to her mesmerising eyes.

"Marry me," she stated, her eyes sparkling and shiny. "Divorce Marie. Say I'm pregnant. It would be slightly scandalous, but only slightly compared to the truth. Besides, my father can cover this up efficiently."

Sirius continued to gaze at her as she continued, "I won't say a thing. Nor will Snape. I promise you, Remus would be out of your life and he would also have a better life not that he deserves it. Think about it Sirius, if anyone else was to find out, Remus would be crushed. You could get away with it, but not him. This is the best way for him as well."

"I…don't - " Sirius began panicked but Clara smiled, "-Love me?" she finished for him, "When have you married for love Sirius Black? If you marry me, you will fulfil one of the hardest conditions with ease. You don't have to worry about Remus's betrayal. It will all be forgotten. Marry me."

It was all too much; Sirius threw the piece of parchment crumpled in his hand into the bin.

"It wouldn't matter," he slowly started, "Regulus would also know about the arrangement if Remus was working for him. If he also talked, all this." He pointed to her then him, "Would have been for nothing."

Clara bit her bottom lip, Sirius was too cruel. So it had been true. He had been completely at Remus's mercy. He had no inkling or care about her feelings. How she was crushing all her pride and dignity to have him. He did not care how this was hurting her more than anyone. How she hated being sold to him in a bargain, a business. All this for someone else he loved. Did he not know how much she had followed him, wanted to be with him? Tried to get closer to the star that had shone too far in the distance and always would. She wanted him so much.

"Remus took care of that." She whispered, a pain taking hold in her chest.

"Oh," Comprehension seemed to dawn on his mind.

"I'll give you some time to think about it," Clara pressed, suddenly closing in on him. "And this time you better return my mails."

And she kissed him. Forcefully, with something desperate in the way that she lunged and plunged with her mouth as if she had wanted all her life to do just that - explore him and connect with him. Her arms wound around his neck and his hair.

It had been such a long time since Sirius had held another woman in his hands, smelt her scent or feel like the only man in the whole universe. Her desperation touched something in his heart that made him reciprocate. Gently and tenderly to placate her passion as she whimpered pitifully, her eyes closed but not in bliss but in pain. The kiss was not causing her pain physically but Sirius had no idea what it was.

They broke apart, Clara's face still deadly pale as she hurriedly left the study with a hasty farewell. Tears overfilled her eyes as they started to flow down her cheeks. He did not love her. He had no feelings for her. The best she could do was marry a man that did not love her. She felt her knees give way as she felt like throwing something; at least you would be able to be near him, she tried to comfort herself, he would be yours, only if it is on paper.

Mascara ran and she smudged it with the back of her hand but did not care. No matter what she did, she would not look beautiful in Sirius's eyes. He hated her and always would for what she was doing to him. She did not want to, but she wanted him so badly. She did not want him to hate her, but she could not let go. She was in too deep.

She loved Sirius.

------------

Remus had a man he had never seen before, a porter of some sort take his bags and guide him to a carriage that was to take him to the border of the estate where he could finally apparate. He took one last look at Kiann Hall and Sirius looking down at him from one of the crystalline windows and gave him a wave before he boarded the carriage.

The watercolours flew past as Remus watched outside, his energy was already sapping from him. He was paler than usual and it was getting harder for him to smile or make any expression on his face. He was going to alone again like he had always been after Romulus's death. Reliving the nightmare again…and again…never to stop.

Remus reflected quite a lot as the carriage trundled along the cobblestone paths. When he neared the border however, he saw a man that made his blood run hot and he forgot about anything and how tired he was as the familiar blonde hair and grey eyes apparated in front of him. Remus stopped the carriage hurriedly and walked up to Lucius Malfoy who had his hands buried in the depth of his pockets.

"I can't believe you returned," Remus uttered coldly as Lucius turned his attention to him.

"I have business with him. Strictly business," Lucius replied just as coldly but with a flicker of deceit in his eyes that Remus did not like.

Lucius had been so cruel to him the last time, how much more did he have to torture Sirius until he was satisfied. No, first time Remus had deserted Sirius, the second time he had not been there for him, but now he wasn't going to stand it a third time. "I suggest you go home to your _wife_," Remus stated firmly, "I did not receive any notifications from the Wizengamot saying that there was any more business needing to be discussed between you and Sirius."

Lucius did not speak but merely gazed at him, "I don't particular appreciate you in butting into my business," he started slowly. "So perhaps I do have a few personal matters to settle with Sirius. Still, it is none of _your _concern."

Remus whipped out his wand and pointed it at Lucius's heart, "It is _absolutely _my concern. That man you are talking about is my husband. I suggest you leave before you make me do something you'll regret."

Lucius looked steadily at the wand that did not tremble but then his eyes flickered to Remus's and he smirked, "You love him, don't you?"

Remus smirked a rival smirk of the famous Malfoy, "Yes and you are not going to drive a wedge between us,"

"My, jealous are we?" Malfoy taunted but then faltered as Remus's lips twitched into a sneer, "You are hardly competition but your continued presence is, admittedly annoying."

Lucius laughed, "That stings Lupin." He raised his brow lightly, "but before you start getting fancy ideas. I'll tell you what Sirius is really like. What he says about love? You're a fool if you believe them."

"I am a fool," Remus interrupted, his eyes glinting hard. "And from what you have said, so you have been too."

"Yes, the first and last time," Lucius laughed, "Let me tell you. It is not hard to understand. He has ways with people. How he seems to care about you even when he appears indifferent. How he seems so human and honest and blunt. How he could become the centre of your world." Those grey eyes fixed on Remus, "But before this gets mushy, he shows his true colours. You see, he can't love. He's a Black. It was drilled into him from a young age, he cannot feel anything. If anything inspires him, money does…and power."

"Don't talk as if you know all about him," Remus muttered furiously.

"I do, more than you," Lucius snorted derisively, "When I was young, I was like you a little. I did anything for him. Anything, I did not care if my father cast crucio on me or hit me with the cane I have now. It's my favourite you know." He stared far ahead, "Just for his pleasure and delight, I did everything."

Remus was suddenly entranced by the soft lulling of his voice and the sad, wistful tone of it.

"Then I told him. I confessed. He seemed to feel the same way so we decided to run away together. Romantic I know," Lucius sounded slightly bitter, "We were young but we weren't stupid. Salazar only knows what would have happened if we were discovered by our families. At that time, that was the only way. So I prepared everything and waited for him to meet me by the riverside of a far country location we always used to run away and play in."

"He never came," Remus spoke softly.

"No he didn't, I fell asleep there. Nearly died the next day because my father found out that I had tried to run away. He did not know about Sirius of course, that was endangering his life if I spoke. But I survived," Lucius laughed, "But I thought he had been detained. So life continued. We met but he never spoke to me anymore, it's partly because father had decided to send me away abroad but we never talked about that time." Lucius shrugged, "But then there was this time when I almost died. Around seven times. Four minor attempts and three major."

"What attempts?" Remus asked, slightly curious.

"Assassination attempts," Lucius replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Assassination attempts?" Remus asked, slightly shocked.

Lucius's smile twitched into an all-knowing smirk, "It's slightly common in the upper circles but rather surprising I was target of seven."

"Who did it?" Remus asked, his voice low and slow.

"It was from the most ancient and noble house of blacks," Lucius said, his lips pursed. "I learnt afterwards, it had all been orchestrated by Sirius."

"Sirius…?"

Lucius nodded, "So don't act like you know everything ickle werewolf." He mocked, "He lied. He was very convincing, it didn't mean anything. Whatever he did, he had not meant it. All he ever cares about is money and power. He never cared about me or anything else." He sneered, "So I became like him and now I understand. It's easier like this and it suits me more. Everything is black and white. And Sirius is a liar." He glanced at Remus, "So, even though this chat was highly interesting. I have to see him."

_**Crack**_. Lucius was thrown on the ground, holding his cheek as his long, platinum blonde hair spilled around him. Blood started trickle down a cut and it turned a blotchy purple where Remus had struck him. The fist of Remus had ripped slightly at the knuckles and the look in his eyes was livid.

"I pity you, Lucius Malfoy. He really did love you. But you were fool enough to push him away and not confront him when undoubtedly he would have been suffering as much pain. Now you can't reach him so stay away from him."

Remus pocketed his unused wand, "I am deadly serious Malfoy. Stay – away – from – him. Or I will _kill _you."

Lucius smirked from the ground, "I used to be like that at one stage. But you'll learn," he said condescendingly.

Remus raised his bloody fist to punch him in the face again but suddenly, a girl ran towards him so fast that her hair whipped behind her and she stumbled on her dress but she reached him just in time.

"Remus! Come quickly! You have to come now! Regulus has – Regulus has…" Natasha started to bury her face in her hands and sob. "Quickly…save him."

"Wait…what?" Remus asked in alarm.

"I'll explain later, we have to go _now_." She was hysterical as she pulled him by his hand and apparated out of the grounds with Remus in tow.

Apparation always was an unpleasant experience and Remus felt he was lurched from his feet to go against grinding pressure to finally appear to what it appeared the top of a very high, tall building. "Where are we?" he asked Natasha who was now starting to cry softly into her hands. "Natasha! Get a grip! Where is he?" Remus suddenly shouted, her reaction really frightening him. With a quivering finger Natasha pointed at a small, hooded figure that stood at the edge of the structure and had taken fatal steps that led to empty air below.

Without thinking or with knowledge of how he did it, Remus sprinted with all his strength to where the figure had walked off and grabbed Regulus just by his hood as Remus had slid across the space between him and the edge of the topmost structure of the building by sliding on his belly. Regulus remained dangling in mid-air yet he did not struggle, instead like a heavy sack he maintained his motionless state as Remus struggled to grab on. His torso starting to slip also into oblivion as Regulus sank further with gravity.

Natasha only stood where she was, metres away, weeping. Remus gritted his teeth, "Regulus, hold onto my hand. Your hood, it's going to slip!"

"Let me go," Regulus answered calmly.

"Let's talk about this _after _you are on solid ground," Remus refuted pleadingly, "Just hold onto my arm,"

"It wasn't me Remus. It wasn't me…" Regulus began, his eyes blank in the dwindling sunlight.

"I believe you," Remus muttered hastily, "Just hold my hand!"

At this outburst, Regulus seemed to have gained some sense as he held onto Remus's hand and Remus was free to let go of his hood, which would have slipped through his fingers, with only a few seconds to go.

"Don't let go," Remus tried to sound calm although his mind was in a frenzy.

"I…couldn't do it by myself Remus."

"It's okay Regulus,"

"Sirius, you." Regulus howled, "I've lost everyone,"

"No, you haven't. You have me. Just don't let go alright? If you help me, we can both get out of here."

"I wonder what would happen if I were to fall. Would Sirius grieve for me? Would _you _grieve for me Remus?"

"You are not going to fall," Remus muttered through gritted teeth, trying to free his other arm that was trapped beneath him to grab onto Regulus with both hands, "You have to trust me."

"I do," Regulus answered honestly, he sighed, "I'm sorry I'm a burden. Let me go please. Thank you for everything Remus,"

Remus finally freed his other arm from beneath him but just then Regulus's hand slipped further away from him and Remus started to perspire as Regulus looked calmly up at him although there were thousands of metres of empty space and infrastructure as well as the ground beneath him. That were going to greet him to his death.

"I just wanted to see you one last time," Regulus confessed, "I know I'm being selfish. I know I'm wasting your time. Bye Remus. I love you."

And he let go.

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